Moving In The Right Direction

I was wrong; not totally wrong, but wrong enough. I wrote that severe spankings were wired to my penis and made me easier to arouse. On Wednesday night, that theory was, at least, partially disproved. About an hour after my 300 blows, I asked if we could snuggle. Mrs. Lion agreed. After the usual snuggles, Mrs. Lion sat up and I prepared to be masturbated.

This time, she surprised me. She reached behind her and grabbed a Ziploc bag. Inside were wooden clothespins.

“You said that we don’t do anything different,” she said.

I groaned. She then put clothespins on each of my nipples.

“I wasn’t going to do that, but your groan made me put them on your boobies.”

Arrrgh!

She then proceeded to put clothespins on my scrotum and perineum. She knows just where it hurts the most. Then, she started to jerk me off. As she masturbated me, she played with some of the pins and pulled others off. Eventually they were all gone and she continued jerking me off. I kept getting more and more excited, but well before reaching the edge I plateaued. I just couldn’t get any more aroused. I told Mrs. Lion and she let me know it was okay. She lay down next to me and we snuggled some more.

I’m convinced that my spanking short-circuited my ability to get to orgasm. This happens now and then — I just can’t get past a certain point of arousal — Mrs. Lion stops playing with me and we go about our daily lives as usual.

It’s impossible for me to say that the spanking caused this issue. I expected to be hotter than usual. While it was difficult to handle the spanking, it was something I wanted. From my past experience in BDSM. I know that strongly desired stimulus will sometimes temporarily interfere with sexual arousal. I’m not concerned about what happened on Wednesday night.

Some people are wondering why I want Mrs. Lion to develop the ability to give me severe disciplinary spankings. It seems counter intuitive that I encourage her to hurt me in this way. I don’t think it’s unusual. Other men, and for that matter women, want the loss of control that a severe spanking invokes.

I’m also frustrated that as a couple we want to use spanking as a real form of punishment, yet find ourselves unable to even approach the intensity required to do this. If you’ve been reading our blog for some time, you know that we’ve tried lots of tricks to sneak up on severe spanking. Until now none of them worked. I think I understand where we went wrong.

There are two sets of responses to being spanked. The first set occurs during the initial swats. The pain is sharp and nearly unbearable. That’s why, when Mrs. Lion started swinging hard and fast I rolled away after a relatively short time. What we are doing now is functionally no different. However, I am aware that the burst of hard, fast, spanks will stop after a certain number have been delivered. That allows me to bear up and struggle to accept the pain I know will stop at the end of the set.

I’m given some time to recover after each burst. That short time allows some of the acute distress to modulate and allows me to physically settle myself back in place for the next set. I’m able to do this after each burst. The reason this works for me is that I’m learning to make it to the other end of the pain tunnel. My mind is building strength controlling the instinctive need to flee.

It’s not that these short rest periods reduce the pain. It’s more that they give me an opportunity to get control of myself. The objective of these exercises is to allow me to learn to stay in position through a constant barrage of fast, very hard swats. So far, the training appears to be working.

Mrs. Lion is learning to extend her limits in terms of ferocity and duration spanking me. None of this is instinctive to either of us. We are learning a new set of skills. Interestingly, I’m not learning to be more submissive in this case. I’m getting physical training in self-control. Submitting to these training spankings is no indicator of my general submissiveness as a man. The exercises are another form of play spanking. After all, I asked for them.

If we’ve learned anything, we’ve learned that very little of what we do in enforced male chastity and female lead relationships is intuitive. Both of us have a lot of learning to do in order to effectively live these lifestyles. Over the last five years, I think we’ve done a pretty good job getting started. Discipline, has been the most difficult part for us.

It presents two distinct challenges: the first, is for Mrs. Lion to feel entitled to demand behavioral changes of me. Initially, we agreed on rules that she would enforce. That was pretty easy. It was more of a game than a serious part of life. But like the current spanking exercises, we learned a lot.

The hard part, is for Mrs. Lion to enforce changes based on her reaction to my behavior. In this case, I don’t get to agree that the behavior she wishes to change is something I want. She’s the boss, and is entitled to demand any behavior she wishes. Further, she has the absolute right to punish me for not meeting her expectations.

This is a very difficult challenge for her. She is the sole arbiter of what’s right and wrong for me. That’s tough for anyone. It’s particularly hard for her. I think she’s finally moving in the direction of becoming my disciplining wife. Last week, I got spanked for being snarky about her daughter. I’m not going to go out of my way to do things to provoke her, but I hope she becomes more observant and punishes me for even trivial offenses.

This is the emotional equivalent of our spanking exercises. While it may not be entirely fair to hold me accountable for very small things, it’s absolutely necessary to do it in order to build the chops she needs to become an effective disciplinarian. It’s also critical for me. I need to learn how to be more sensitive to her feelings. She isn’t very good at expressing them right now. However, if she resolves to express them via her paddle, we’ll both learn an important new emotional language.

A great deal of what we do could be considered BDSM play. I’m okay with that. Even our spanking exercises could fall into that category. Certainly punishing me for spilling food on my shirt is less serious disciplinary behavior then BDSM play, but that’s okay. It’s training.

As I see it, our goal is for Mrs. Lion to be able to let me know any time my behavior upsets her; even over small things. I’d like to see it become second nature to her. On my side, I need to be able to gracefully accept painful and humiliating punishments. If we’re going to move out of BDSM into real punishment, severity and general unpleasantness has to increase. For that to happen, I have to be able to accept it without protest or avoidance.

You may not agree with this direction. I’m sure a lot of the world doesn’t. I’m also sure that once we work through our baby steps, the way we practice this will be sane and very loving.

Tell us what you think or ask us a question