Have Trouble Sitting?
I think the proliferation of blogs featuring women in sexually controlling roles signals a much larger change. This has been slow in coming, but now it feels like it is becoming more generally acceptable. Male chastity remains a rather small corner of this shift. That’s not surprising. It’s pretty extreme in terms of sexual control.
That’s not to say there are many marriages that practice active female control. Of course, women have long worn the pants in the family. But they’ve done so subtly without asserting authority. That’s changing. I think that women are more willing to speak up and let their partners hear them assert themselves.
Ok, that’s sociology. But more interesting to me is the growing trend of women topping men. In the 90’s so-called dominant women were few and far between. Men wishing to bottom outnumbered female tops 20 or more to one. Now, barely twenty years later, dominant women seek submissive men (as evidenced in blogs and fetlife) nearly as often as men seek dominant women. Cool!
When it comes to sexual blogs like ours, men outnumber women in terms of our readership. Almost 60% of our readers are men. That’s actually a great number. Most of the Internet is over 80% men. I find that all of the women who comment on this blog are in a dominant/top role. All of the men self-report as bottoms/submissive. This isn’t surprising since The Journal is about our female-in-charge relationship.
You don’t have to be full-on femdom to participate. I suspect most of our readers have an interest but don’t necessarily live in a female led relationship.
I’m curious about something. I wonder how many of the men reading here are spanked by women? Conversely, how many of our women readers spank men? Obviously, I’m spanked. I know that studies of male and female fantasies consistently reveal that over 75% of men dream of being restrained and/or spanked. This is usually in the context of a sexy scene, not female domination.
The reason I’m using spanking as a sort of yardstick is that it is sexually acceptable so it is likely to be the first activity when a woman asserts herself sexually in a way that puts the man in a clearly-understood-to-be vulnerable position.
This isn’t a case of me looking to validate my submission. I’m curious about you. Our readers are part of a demographic. I wonder how that demographic defines itself.
I realize that a sizable number of our male readers don’t get spanked or dominated in classic ways. They wear chastity devices as their only act of submission. The reason I didn’t pick chastity device wearing as my measure is that many women simply allow their men to wear the devices. They don’t necessarily actively participate in the lockup. However 100% of men who get spanked have their partners actively engaged.
I’d be interested to learn if you spank or are spanked. It doesn’t matter why. It just matters that a bottom is being swatted. Maybe we could also have a spanked bottom gallery. How would you feel about a picture of your reddened butt published?
So What Bowl
Today is the Super Bowl. We hate both teams. It’s not an uninteresting game like it would be if Kansas City were playing Miami, as an example. We don’t care about either of those teams. Today’s game is about choosing the lesser of two evils. And to us, they are both evil.
Lion and I like the same football team: the New York Giants. They’re in the same division as the Philadelphia Eagles. As required, we hate the other teams in our division. However, Lion hates the Eagles more than the other two teams. I hate the Cowboys more. We both agree that the New England Patriots are a cheating team that deserves to lose. But here’s where the “problem” lies. Lion hates the Eagles so much he’s considering rooting for the Patriots. I hate the Patriots so much I’m considering rooting for the Eagles. It leaves a bitter taste in both our mouths.
I was contemplating some sort of punishment system so Lion would get swats for every point the Patriots score if he does actually root for them. The issue with that is they could keep scoring and Lion’s butt could be bloody. And it’s not something he can control anyway. It’s not fair to punish him for something he has nothing to do with. It would be like punishing him for every time someone cut me off on the road. No, that’s not a good system. I will, however, be keeping an eye out for spilled food or his interrupting. That’s a given. Those are actual rules.
I think we’ll just watch the game and complain about both teams. We’ll enjoy the commercials and ignore the halftime show. We’ll eat our traditional nachos. And when the game is over, the most hated team will have won. No matter who it is.
[Lion — I think it might be fun to make the Superbowl a sort of spanking game. We never play sexy games. Getting swatted every time the time I don’t root for scores a point will provide some stake in a game that neither of us feels we have. If I root for the Patriots (shudder), a swat for each Eagle point could be fun, especially if they are administered at the time the points are scored.]
[Mrs. Lion — I’ve reconsidered the parameters. Lion will get swats whenever either team scores and whenever a flag is thrown.]
Decoding The Lion
(Continued from my post yesterday, “Reality Check“)
When I reflected on my reality, I realized that some of the things I write have a subtext that isn’t exactly clear. It isn’t that I was trying to fool you or Mrs. Lion. I didn’t realize what my message was. For example:
I think that my spankings should be longer and more severe.
I’ve said this many times. I was frequently accused of topping from the bottom. I wasn’t. My suggestion didn’t come from a need to control punishments. Actually, when I wrote this sort of thing, I was reacting to the fact that I felt sexual about my most recent spanking.
By writing that I wanted longer and more severe spankings, I was expressing my sexual response to the spanking. It felt hot imagining Mrs. Lion more severely spanking me. In my mind, the previous punishment was more of a scene than discipline. I wanted more.
Clearly, this isn’t the optimum reaction to punishment. I’m supposed to regret my act and Mrs. Lion’s retribution, not get aroused remembering it. So, this sort of statement is actually a statement that I enjoyed the punishment I received.
Further evidence of this is that there are punishments I almost never mention. I don’t talk about needing more corner time, mouth soaping, or time sitting on the punishment stool. The reason is that I truly hate these things. They are real punishments to me. I don’t want to remind Mrs. Lion she needs to do them more often.
I do mention things we do for play. Things like wearing panties or diapers, anal play, hot sauce on my balls. Those are all unpleasant when I am receiving them, but they are also arousing before and after. I want Mrs. Lion to do these things to me.
The same is true of spanking. I like being spanked. I hate it when it happens, but it arouses me when I think about it. However, when a spanking rises to a certain level, it is pure pain and I don’t get aroused thinking about it. I think about what I did to deserve it and work hard to avoid earning another.
The line between an arousing spanking and punishment is fairly broad. Squirming, screaming, and begging that the spanking stop are sure signs I am moving out of the arousing area. Bruises and long-lasting pain are other indications. Of course, adding a “punishment desert” or two afterward (corner time, soaping, punishment stool, etc.) send a much stronger message.
And no, this is not topping from the bottom.
Even though many of the punishment spankings I’ve received in recent days had no “desert” and were fairly mild, they seem to have worked. I can’t explain that. Of course, the offenses are minor — eating first or spilling on my shirt—- the light spankings seem to keep me focused on avoiding them. It doesn’t appear to work for interrupting.
By writing this post I am exposing something I hesitate to confess. Unlike my “coded” posts, this one is my honest assessment of what I feel is behind prior discussions of asking for more severe spanking. I’m also validating that below a certain level, punishment spankings have a strongly erotic effect on me.
It’s up to Mrs. Lion to decide how she wants to use this information.
He Knows He’s Lucky
Whatever cold/flu we both had seems to be hanging on. We’re tired and not feeling our best. That doesn’t stand in the way of work or play but I wish we felt better.
Lion has been horny. The past few nights I’ve edged him perilously close to the point of no return. He’s been a panting mess. Last night I took pity on the poor boy. I stopped just after the edge and then started again so he could have an orgasm. I shared his cum with him. He doesn’t like the taste of it. I do. So why share it? Because I can. And because he doesn’t like it.
He said it was a pretty big orgasm. I’d edged him mercilessly for the last few nights. I hope it was a big one. In the past he’s said he wanted more of a build-up than a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am. I’ve tried to accomplish that. Some clothespins and ball tying thrown in. Extra edging. And then I sneak up on him with an orgasm he never thought was actually going to come.
Lion informed me that he’d had a five day wait. That was his explanation for the big orgasm. He knows five days is nothing. It’s close to his optimum of four days but it’s certainly not a long wait. Even many married guys are on a seven day schedule. One a week. Many others are less fortunate. Lion knows he’s lucky even if he has to wait a long time. Other men may get more orgasms but he gets more attention. Near nightly attention. I don’t think he’d trade places with any one of them.
If he continues his current trend, Lion will be horny again tonight. If not tonight then tomorrow night. There’s no pressure from me. Lionesses love to lounge around waiting for the right time to hunt.
