Plans
In the spring a boy’s thoughts turn to sex. Who am I kidding? A boy’s thoughts are on sex year round. He may not think about it every second of the day, but Lion thinks about it a lot. I guess you can’t help it when you carry a reminder strapped to your penis. No matter how comfortable it is, from time to time you move and it announces its presence. I’m guessing. I never wore one. And it certainly wouldn’t be strapped to my penis if I did.
I was having some trouble coming up with an idea for a post today. Nothing really unusual about that. I don’t think about sex and play as much as Lion does. Not being in the mood for sex, it doesn’t cross my mind as much as if I were horny too. I do try to have some plan for a weekend. Unfortunately, I don’t have any plans for this weekend. I’m sure I can think of something, but right now I’m clueless.
Last night Lion was not really in the mood. He apologized this morning. I told him there was nothing to apologize for. He can’t always be “on”. And snuggling is perfectly fine too. So he told me he likes when I tell him what plans I have for him. They set the stage and get him thinking. And thinking gets him horny. And a horny Lion is a happy Lion. To a point. So my job right now is to think of things I can do to my sweet Lion that will get his motor running.
I won’t suggest diapers. He hates them and since I think it will be a nice weekend, full of chores and running around, I don’t want him in diapers. Whew! Dodged a bullet there, Lion. The shock collar can see some action though. I should have used it last weekend. Lion has been asking for punishment closer to the crime. You can’t get much closer than a good zap exactly when the infraction occurs. Stops him right in his tracks every time. And I think some anal play is in his future. I’ve allowed that to fall by the wayside in the past week or so.
Those are a few ideas off the top of my head. I bet they got Lion’s attention. He’s looking forward to every zap, I’m sure. Silly boy.
Punishing On The Spot
We’re both excited about the Huffington Post article and podcast that features us talking about our experience with enforced male chastity. The podcast starts with the typical discussion by guys who have tried devices for a very short time (hours) and then reported on their experiences. The second half of the podcast is their interview with us. I think we had a good opportunity to explain our long-term experiences with enforced chastity. Now our voices are out “there” for the world to hear. It raises the probability that people we know might learn of our practice. But then, if they heard the podcast, they can’t be all that vanilla themselves.
On the home front, things continue to evolve. Ever since Mrs. Lion announced Lioness 2.0, she’s been experimenting and writing about changes 2.0 will make. 2.0 is becoming much more assertive about deciding what BDSM play we will do. She’s also working to be less influenced by my complaints when punished. I am glad (now, not necessarily when she is punishing me) she is working on that. It’s my failing that I can’t seem to stop myself from letting her know when something hurts. Punishment is supposed to hurt to be effective. Why should I be surprised when it does?
She’s also said that she is going to move punishment closer to the infraction. As of now, I am punished only on our scheduled punishment days (Monday and Thursday). Most of the time I haven’t earned any punishments. By executing punishment at the time I do something I shouldn’t, I think the message that I need to change my ways will be substantially clearer. Once she starts this, it will be challenging for her to follow this policy when we are out and about. I have a very creative lioness, so I’m sure she will find ways to do it.
I don’t want to minimize this change. It took quite a while for us to establish punishment at all. Punishment days provided the tool that helped Mrs. Lion more consistently enforce rules. Moving enforcement to the time of the infraction is a challenge. I guess we will probably continue with scheduled punishment day spankings as well as the on-the-spot variety we think will be better. As soon as 2.0 starts I will painfully find out.
Fame and Fortune
As Lion mentioned, we did an interview for the Huffington Post. I was fairly nervous. Lion is more accustomed to the limelight so he did fine. I’m hoping people who listen will understand that we’re just regular people who happen to do enforced chastity and power exchange. We’re no different from people who collect salt shakers or run marathons. This is our thing, one of our things, and it may not be for everyone, but it’s not so much of a stretch that everyone couldn’t try it. Does that make sense? Just because you jog to stay in shape doesn’t mean you’re training for a marathon. You can try enforced chastity and power exchange without jumping in with both feet. You can dabble.
Listen to our Huffington Post podcast and read the article too!
We’ve said many times that we had no idea how enforced chastity would go when we first started. I figured it was one of Lion’s harebrained ideas that we’d try for a while and both (definitely me) lose interest. I guess my mother was right. How do you know you don’t like something unless you try? This is definitely better than lima beans. But something happened along the way. We became closer than ever. I’m not sure that would have happened without the Journal or without our daily emails. Both the Journal and emails are a sort of safe space. Not that we can’t tell each other everything, but in a blog or email, you can think things out more clearly and the other person can digest what you’ve said without someone staring at them waiting for a reaction. Of course, blogs and email lack emotion and it’s difficult to gauge the tone. Misunderstandings occur. But that’s why we talk about things too.
I may have what I think is a brilliant idea, but in reality it doesn’t work out. For example, yesterday I got my purchase from my shopping spree a few days ago. I found a masturbation toy for Lion. It’s a set of beads on elastic that promised a wonderful sensation. We tried them and they pinched. So much for my brilliant idea. I really like to surprise Lion sometimes so I didn’t talk to him first. Perhaps if I had asked Lion about them, he might have nixed the idea right off the bat. Perhaps he would have said they were worth a shot. You really don’t know until you try. So now I’m searching for the next brilliant idea.
I guess my point is that there is no right way to do enforced chastity or power exchange. You can read all the ideas everyone else has, but ultimately you have to do what works for you. When we’re out surfing the web we’re looking for ideas. Some we know won’t work for us. Others are worth a try. Through our trials and tribulations, maybe we’ll plant a little seed in our readers’ minds. Something that they might like to try, or even take the idea and run in a different direction with it. And if they do, we hope they’ll let us know. We’re always open to suggestions.
How To Introduce Enforced Chastity To Your Partner
Today is the day the Huffington Post releases it’s podcast of our interview. Here is a link to it. I’m not sure what time it will show up, but I am told it will be there today. We’re both excited that enforced chastity will be exposed to such a mainstream audience.
Among the relatively small number of people who have heard of enforced male chastity, there are a lot of misunderstandings about what it is and how it works. Ironically, among the most uniformed are guys who want to start this practice I’m making this generalization based on years of reading chastity forums and blogs. I think that the reason there is so much misinformation out there is due to the fantasies that drive most of us to want to try being caged.
Most of the fantasies center around a male transformation driven by withheld orgasm. Lock up his penis and the more he misses sex, the more submissive he will become. He will also be driven to provide his keyholder with endless, selfless sexual pleasures. He will learn to get his sexual pleasure by giving orgasms to his keyholder instead of having them himself. That’s how the typical fantasy goes.
Thee may be some truth in this for some guys. But I’m pretty sure that describing this fantasy to a potential keyholder isn’t going to seal the deal. At the risk of being completely wrong, I’m going to try to put myself in the position of a potential keyholder who is being told of the “benefits” of locking up her partner.
Being locked up will make me focus on giving you orgasms. Oh, yeah? You mean you haven’t been focused on that before? I have to lock up your penis for you to care about pleasing me? You mean you won’t do that now?
Locking me up and not letting me orgasm will make me docile and submissive. Really? This is the fantasy, but is there really any magic in being horny that makes you an obedient puppy. The fantasy is that the desperation will make you willing to do anything to get an orgasm. That, in my experience, is only partly true. I am much more agreeable when trying to assure that my lioness will let me get off, but I haven’t turned to mush.
Even if you assume that you will indeed become sweet and submissive, is this really what your potential keyholder wants? Has she indicated that she wants to be in charge and wants you to submit to her? Chances are she hasn’t.
If you think about it, you are asking her to do two things: lock you up and control your orgasms, and also be dominant with you. Moreover, you are asking her to do this full time! That’s a lot to spring on someone. No wonder so many guys have a problem finding a keyholder.
This way may work!
Think about this from her point of view. Perhaps you could simply explain that enforced male chastity turns you on. Show her our page on “How To Cage Your Man”. Of course, you should read it first. The key is to limit your conversation to you wearing a chastity device and she holds the key. Her role is to decide when you get an orgasm and how you get it. That’s it; end of story. Start out that way and then see how things flow. The one constant in enforced chastity is that it takes time to establish. The simpler you make it to start, the more likely it will become part of your life. Don’t expect things to go smoothly from the beginning. It will be much more difficult for you than you imagine. Whatever you do, don’t put your issues with being locked up on your keyholder. She has a lot to learn too.
Good luck!
