Male Chastity Autopilot
Sometimes I wonder what we’re doing. I guess it’s similar to Lion not wanting to be punished and wishing he could just stop me from doing it. Lion has been fairly good lately. There hasn’t been any need for punishment this week. We’ve settled into an every other day or so orgasm schedule, depending on Lion’s allergies. Because he hasn’t been given an extended wait, he hasn’t been super horny so he hasn’t been in the cage. (He also had a doctor appointment today that required he be wild.) It’s been almost like autopilot. Maybe a self-driving car. We’re just along for the ride. So why do we need the cage at all? And who cares about the rules?
You can have male chastity without a cage. Once the keyholder or dominant partner takes control of the male’s orgasms, you’re practicing male chastity. Cage or not, if the male no longer has any say in when an orgasm occurs, he’s done. The cage may just be symbolic, as it is for us, or it may be needed to physically restrain the male from having an erection or trying to pleasure himself. I know there are times when Lion says it’s a good thing the cage is on because he’s so horny it is tempting to touch himself. I know he tries very hard not to cheat, but he has touched himself when he’s wild. For longer waits, it’s just safer to keep him locked up.
Lion also likes the security of having the cage on. It’s comfortable enough that he can forget it’s there, but when he feels it he knows that he belongs to me and no one else can play with my weenie. I am in control of when my weenie is wild and what sort of fun he’ll be having when he’s allowed out to play. When I lock him up after he’s been wild for a while, he complains about the cage. He’ll say he likes to be wild. I think he just doesn’t like the transition back into the cage.
The rules are in effect unless I suspend them for a certain reason. I may be lax in enforcing them from time to time, but they are in place to remind Lion that I am in charge. If he wants to interrupt me, he does so at his own peril. Some of them are stupid, nothing rules, like spilling food on his shirt. Why is that one still on the books? There’s actually a very good reason. It was created to give me practice at punishing him. We started out small. Since there’s really nothing I want to change about Lion, I had to pick something. I’m all but assured Lion will spill something at some point during the day. Nitpicky? Sure. But even when Lion is on his best behavior in other areas, I still get swatting practice for spillage.
Obviously, some of the rules are more important than spilling food on himself. Not eating before I do and not interrupting me are just good manners. We don’t have any rules that are for Lion’s safety (unless you count the safety of his buns) like telling a kid not to talk to strangers or look both ways before crossing the street. Lion has been taking care of himself for many years without reminders of how to keep himself safe. I really do need to work on some more rules, though. He needs to feel my power.
Male Chastity Reality Check
Male chastity is frequently considered a stand-alone, sexual kink. The most common descriptions talk about orgasms being sparingly granted by a keyholder or a mistress. Hardware, in the form of a male chastity device, is often considered essential.
Is male chastity about sex; really? I know a lot of guys masturbate to stories about men being forced to provide sexual service without any gratification of their own. In some of these stories, the chaste male has to wait months for a single ejaculation. His suffering is a big turn on. That doesn’t sound like sex to me.
Male chastity is about male submission. Chastity is simply one way the submissive male surrenders to his dominant female. The expression of female power is her control of when the male gets to ejaculate. Many guys assume that this means the longer they have to wait, the more submissive they are. Some keep score. They brag about who has had to wait the longest. This sounds to me like an extension of the penis size conversation.
I would argue that this “my wait is longer than your wait” conversation is missing the point of male chastity entirely. The way I see it, male chastity is a form of orgasm control, not necessarily denial. I can understand why extended waits appear to best satisfy this power exchange. The reasoning is that a male will want to ejaculate as often as possible, so the only way to demonstrate orgasm control is to force him to wait for his chance to ejaculate. So, a dominant’s ability to control her male is measured by how long it’s been since his last orgasm.
Isn’t the real measure of control that he ejaculates when his dominant partner/keyholder wants him to? Whether it’s an hour or six months since his last orgasm doesn’t matter. What counts is that his orgasms are at her pleasure. He has no control of the situation. That’s certainly the case for me.
I’m practicing male chastity even if I have an orgasm every day. The reason is that I have no voice in when I get to come. Mrs. Lion decides using any criteria she chooses and that’s it; discussion over. I am sexually submissive to her. She owns the penis that is attached to me. Simple, right?
If you’re interested in practicing male chastity, maybe you should consider that you are asking your partner to do a single, simple thing: decide when you get to come. That’s it. I know, I know that over time other stuff will probably creep in like a chastity device, sexual service on demand, and other submissive acts. But at the root, male chastity is about controlling when the male can have an orgasm.
Communication is Key
Sometimes Lion talks in his sleep. It usually happens when we’re just falling asleep. He did it the other night. He wants to talk about chastity and discipline and how lucky we are to have each other. It sounds just like conversations we have when he’s awake. This time, he wanted his balls rubbed. He says it helps him fall asleep. It worked. Twice. Except he was already asleep when he asked me to do it. Lion is certainly an amusing critter.
I was able to arouse Lion last night. I decided oral attention was called for. Not that he wasn’t getting aroused with just my hand, but sometimes I just want to use my mouth instead. Lion never argues with that logic. He isn’t crazy. He loves when I suck him. And last night I really sucked him hard to an orgasm.
Too many orgasms for him? I don’t think so. By now he should have had seven for the month if we were able to do our experiment. I don’t think he’s had more than four. I may decide to back off after this weekend. There’s no reason to back off or to go forward. It’s all up to me and my mood. Lion has no real say in the matter, although the orgasm-a-day was his suggestion that I decided to adopt.
He is correct when he says he can ask for things. He’s suggested a lot of the things we do. But if he wanted to see how long he could last in a wet diaper, for example, I’d let him do it. If he brought home new clothespins and wanted to see how nasty they were, we’d try them. Neither of those would necessarily be in “play mode”. He could stop any time he wanted to. When we’re playing, he has no say (short of a safe word) about whether we continue or not.
Similarly, I could bring home things to experiment with. Or I could suggest we try something a new way. I may be the one with the new clothespins. If they were too much for him, we’d stop. Testing out a new paddle doesn’t have to wait for punishment. The tawse he bought had a trial run a few days after it arrived. It’s important to try things out before just diving in. I remember Lion’s comment that the menthol rub I bought was too weak, so I slathered it on. Nope! Not too weak at all. He had to run to wash it off. If we had tested it rather than relying on Lion’s assumption, he wouldn’t have had bright red balls. At that time, at least.
I don’t usually mind Lion’s suggestions. As long as it doesn’t seem like I’m doing everything all wrong. I don’t always take his suggestions, but at least I think about them. Nothing is too silly or outrageous to think about. And, of course, I get clarification if I need it. Sometimes what I hear or read isn’t really what he meant. Communication is key.
Experiments
Mrs. Lion is in research mode. She has been conducting a number of “experiments” that involve me. She wanted to try for daily orgasms to see if I could sustain that much activity after years of fairly infrequent opportunities. That experiment has been interrupted by issues that I’ve been having not related to sex at all. It’s frustrating for both of us.
I encourage Mrs. Lion to try new things even if the outcome is guaranteed to be unpleasant for me. Usually, she likes to stick to the tried and true. That’s why she spanks me for breaking rules. I can’t fault her for that. Virtually every disciplinary wife uses spanking as her go-to punishment. It seems to be universally effective in making a point to a husband in need of correction. It certainly does for me.
I’ve suggested alternatives or enhancements she might try. The only one she has adopted is zapping me with the training collar when we are out. It is pretty effective. It gets my attention and stops me in my tracks. I am careful to avoid trouble when I wear it.
When I think about the alternative punishments I suggest she might use, I realize that there is little reason to adopt any of them. If this were a D/S scene, I could argue that variety improves the fun. But it isn’t. The only reason to vary a punishment is to make it better fit the crime. Or, because she might want to experiment.
I think that Mrs. Lion doesn’t like to take the risk of doing something “wrong”. This is the main reason she hasn’t branched out. Of course, as we both learned with spanking, practice makes perfect. She is very good at spanking with a paddle or wooden spoon.
If I want to see how it feels to experience something new, like mouth soaping, then I should ask and then experience it in a non-disciplinary setting. I understand that discipline isn’t a menu of painful or humiliating consequences I get to choose from. Well, it could be if Mrs. Lion wants; but it isn’t right now. I don’t think I would care to make that kind of choice. It’s like digging my own grave.
Anyway, I’ve come to understand that BDSM type stuff is something I might love to hate. That’s not true of punishment. It can’t be. So, while I am always available for Mrs. Lion’s experiments, if I want her to try something on me, I must ask for it in a play setting. Right now, I’m not ready to ask for anything that I won’t like.
