Male chastity is frequently considered a stand-alone, sexual kink. The most common descriptions talk about orgasms being sparingly granted by a keyholder or a mistress. Hardware, in the form of a male chastity device, is often considered essential.

Is male chastity about sex; really? I know a lot of guys masturbate to stories about men being forced to provide sexual service without any gratification of their own. In some of these stories, the chaste male has to wait months for a single ejaculation. His suffering is a big turn on. That doesn’t sound like sex to me.

Male chastity is about male submission. Chastity is simply one way the submissive male surrenders to his dominant female. The expression of female power is her control of when the male gets to ejaculate. Many guys assume that this means the longer they have to wait, the more submissive they are. Some keep score. They brag about who has had to wait the longest. This sounds to me like an extension of the penis size conversation.

I would argue that this “my wait is longer than your wait” conversation is missing the point of male chastity entirely. The way I see it, male chastity is a form of orgasm control, not necessarily denial. I can understand why extended waits appear to best satisfy this power exchange. The reasoning is that a male will want to ejaculate as often as possible, so the only way to demonstrate orgasm control is to force him to wait for his chance to ejaculate. So, a dominant’s ability to control her male is measured by how long it’s been since his last orgasm.

Isn’t the real measure of control that he ejaculates when his dominant partner/keyholder wants him to? Whether it’s an hour or six months since his last orgasm doesn’t matter. What counts is that his orgasms are at her pleasure. He has no control of the situation. That’s certainly the case for me.

I’m practicing male chastity even if I have an orgasm every day. The reason is that I have no voice in when I get to come. Mrs. Lion decides using any criteria she chooses and that’s it; discussion over. I am sexually submissive to her. She owns the penis that is attached to me. Simple, right?

If you’re interested in practicing male chastity, maybe you should consider that you are asking your partner to do a single, simple thing: decide when you get to come. That’s it. I know, I know that over time other stuff will probably creep in like a chastity device, sexual service on demand, and other submissive acts. But at the root, male chastity is about controlling when the male can have an orgasm.