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In: Spanking

I crapped out on finishing the lawn yesterday. It was too hot. Yes, 82 is too hot. We’ve been in the Pacific Northwest too long. I’ve had the cold winters, and hot summers of New York assimilated out of me. I’m a wimp. I’m also older, so I welcome the more moderate climate. Anyway, twenty minutes of back and forth across the lawn, and it was done. I’d be happy, but I know it will probably need to be mowed next weekend too. The first mow of the year is generally a long cut. The grass sees it as a challenge and will shoot right up again.

I wasn’t necessarily too tired to do anything with Lion last night. Apparently, he was too tired, though. I tried to snuggle once, and he fell asleep. Later on, he asked if I wanted to snuggle. I moved over, and he fell asleep. I can take a hint. Maybe tonight, he will be able to stay awake long enough to play. Maybe he’s not ready to play yet. That’s fine. I want to snuggle without the snoring soundtrack in my ear. He’ll say he wasn’t snoring. He’s even tried to convince me he wasn’t sleeping while he was snoring. Unless he randomly makes snoring sounds while he’s awake, I’m pretty sure he was sleeping.

None of my remaining chores are as strenuous as mowing the lawn. I should be fully available to play with Lion, assuming he’s ready. I told him last week he needs a “just because” spanking. Maybe not tonight, but one of these days. I think it’s best when he doesn’t know a “just because” spanking is coming. He’s fully aware when he’s due a punishment spanking. He can brood over his impending doom. If I surprise him with a “just because” spanking, he has no time to fear it. Thinking about a punishment spanking may make it more effective.

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In: Punishment, Sex, Spanking

Most of the time, I learn about Mrs. Lion’s plans for me here in the blog. She seems to prefer communicating publicly. You learn about what’s next for me at the same time I do. I suppose there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just a little odd that her most intimate communications are written here where everyone can see them. Our sex life is public.

In general, that works for me. It’s better than silence. When Mrs. Lioln wasn’t providing coming attractions here, she wasn’t saying anything to me in private either. It’s very sexy when she tells me what she is going to do to me. It’s more arousing when she tells me before she tells you. She’s been very reluctant to say, or write, too much. She doesn’t want to promise something she won’t be able to deliver. For example, she wrote that I needed a “just because” spanking and/or an orgasm. She was too tired to deliver either. Of course, the possible orgasm being missed was disappointing. It was also completely understandable. I’m not upset.

I am most certainly fine about missing the spanking. I recognize that I need them for both punishments and as a reminder to behave. It doesn’t mean I have to like them. I don’t. I also have to admit that after a ten-minute spanking, I will have sore spots for three or four days. Every time I sit down, I’m reminded that it would be truly horrible to get a fresh spanking on my sore bottom. I know that Lioness 4.0 has no problem at all spanking an already-sore bottom.

I don’t think she plans the interval between “just because” spankings. She delivers them when she decides it’s time. I suppose she can gauge their effectiveness by noting whether I need correction between them. It makes sense that these preventative spankings’ purpose is to keep me aware of the consequences of being naughty. I have to admit that my memory of just how much I hate being punished fades over time. I don’t forget, but concern about being punished stops being front of mind.

The need for regular spanking is no different than the need for ejaculation. Both are basic forms of attention provided by my lioness. They have different purposes, of course, but the reason to deliver them regularly is the same. Both reinforce her role. We learned by experience that if she doesn’t spank me regularly, she will also stop observing and punishing offenses. That’s a key benefit for her. Keeping the time between spankings relatively short not only keeps me on my best behavior but also reminds her of her role as my disciplining wife.

Sex is no different. I love and need regular sexual activity. Most of the time, it’s teasing. I’ve been trained not to expect orgasm every time she stimulates my penis. I know that eventually, she will let me ejaculate—failure to provide regular teasing results in “forgetting” sex.  Since Mrs. Lion isn’t interested in sex for herself, not providing regular activity will cause her to forget I need it. She has no internal pressure to have sex. That means providing sex for me is a habit the same as including spanking in our marriage. Use it or lose it.

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In: Punishment, Spanking

Back to revising for me. Sadly, I still haven’t found my fiction voice. I’m trying yet another approach, this time writing in the first person. I always considered this writing to be an easy out for bad writers. Third-person writing seemed to be a higher calling. Maybe it is too high for me. For the record, I am much happier in the third person. Descriptions are easier, and the plot seems to move better. This is just a test. Leave no stoned unturned.

I just read a headline on my Alexa. It said, “Broadway shows are first to open in Australia. Wouldn’t you say that was off-Broadway? Way, way off-Broadway. What do I know?

Mrs. Lion has been sending mixed messages. She posted that she forgives me for my conversational faux pas. Yet, she also said spanking me would help her feel better. [Mrs. Lion — I didn’t say it would make me feel better. I said I forgave him because spanking him was too much pressure given everything else. He said spanking would be a sort of pressure relief.] I suppose it doesn’t matter whether or not she has a reason. For the sake of lioness training, it makes sense for her to paddle me for pissing her off the other day. Then we can both make the connection between upsetting her and punishing me.

I’ve been thinking about my part in our disciplinary relationship. While it may be modeled on the way mothers punish children, it’s different in several important ways. Obviously, it’s a lot harsher. An adult male needs much stronger educational messages. There’s another, a more significant difference: I am an active participant.

A child is punished for breaking a rule that an adult creates. The child doesn’t create rules or help with enforcement. An adult partner has a lot more responsibility. The main one for us is that I help Mrs. Lion become a consistent enforcer of rules supporting my growth and well-being.  She has no problem consistently enforcing rules that teach me better behavior, like waiting for her to eat first, setting up the coffeepot (when we get another), and not spilling food on my clothes.

The challenge comes when my behavior upsets her. She hates it when I interrupt her. As she wrote in a very recent post, it is very upsetting when I don’t give her a chance to express a complete thought. Yet, she doesn’t punish me for those offenses. That’s when I have to behave maturely and help her. We both know that when she can consistently punish me for my annoying behavior, we will be happier. That won’t happen unless I help her.

Believe me; I wouldn’t say I like being spanked. The idea may turn me on, and being spanked may provide sexual fuel once the pain subsides, but it isn’t something I actively want. Ten or fifteen minutes of paddling is endlessly painful. It hurts to sit for days afterward. It may be fun to read about, but it is absolutely no fun to get. Yet, I have to ask for spankings when I become aware I have pissed off Mrs. Lion. Of course, once she develops the disciplinary habit of punishing me when I do those things, it will be better. In the meantime, it is my obligation to ask her to hurt me when I deserve it.

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In: Punishment, Spanking

I got into trouble. On Sunday, I spilled some soup on my t-shirt. I also forgot to set up the coffee pot for Monday morning. Both are clear, enforced rules. I also interrupted Mrs. Lion. She pointed that out to me. After I spilled on my shirt on Sunday night, she told me that she was planning a “just because” spanking anyway. So, I was in for a paddling regardless. On Monday, I asked if my spanking would be fifteen minutes instead of ten. That’s the DWC prescription for two offenses: add five minutes for each additional offense. Mrs. Lion commented that fifteen minutes is a long time. I agree. If you figure about 70-swats-per-minute (a conservative estimate for Mrs. Lion), and you add some rest periods for her, I figure I will get at least 900 swats. That’s a lot. I won’t be counting.

Apparently, the interruption offense is going unpunished. I’m not looking for more. I’ve felt, and you’ve seen what my bottom looks like after a ten-minute (actually longer because Mrs. Lion doesn’t stop just because the timer goes off) spanking. It will be much worse after the additional five minutes. I doubt she will add another five minutes for interrupting her. She has other tools to punish me. It is important that she punishes me for interrupting, which is much more serious than getting a little food on my shirt.

This level of punishment may seem cruel and way out of line by some people who read our blog. What we do now is the latest in a long evolution. I have always been turned on thinking about being spanked. Over fifteen years ago, I told Mrs. Lion that I would like to be spanked. She agreed. In the beginning, I barely felt her swats. She didn’t want to hurt me. I think most women would start this way. It isn’t natural to painfully spank your mate.

I wanted to feel it more. Over more than a decade, Mrs. Lion gradually swatted harder with her hand and with various paddles. We kept communicating about what we were doing. It’s been challenging for her. I recently read an old letter to the Disciplinary Wives Club that described a DWC spanking in detail. I told Mrs. Lion about it and posted it here as well. It went into detail about adult punishment spanking. The key takeaways were that the duration of the spanking is critical. The minimum DWC spanking is ten minutes. The next point was that there is a long warmup. That’s less painful swats for two or three minutes. They aren’t painless but much easier to handle. After that, the force ramps up and keeps increasing. The only breaks are when the spanker needs to rest for a few seconds. No consideration is given to the disciplined male.

The spanking doesn’t end before the timer goes off. It usually continues well beyond the timed period. Ten minutes feels like forever when Mrs. Lion is swatting my bottom. When she continued after the timer went off, I couldn’t believe it. Those were the worst swats. I think that spanking me becomes a bit easier when doing a DWC spanking. Mrs. Lion has to focus on being able to deliver a lot of swats that are hard work. She has less time to worry about hurting me. I’m proud of Mrs. Lion. I hate her DWC spankings. I’m supposed to. When I realized I had a second offense and it would add at least five more minutes to my punishment, I was genuinely frightened. That’s exactly how I should feel.

If you haven’t been in a disciplinary relationship, this can feel extreme. However, if you both want to move in this direction, patiently evolve the way we did. It works. We had a great marriage before we added discipline. I am convinced our disciplinary marriage has improved a good thing. The reason is that Mrs. Lion would never let me know if I did something that upset her. If she got angry, she would withdraw and not want to talk to me. I felt rejected. She felt angry. Now, we are learning to use the paddle as a way for her to express her feelings and teach me to avoid doing what annoyed her.

It isn’t magic. Mrs. Lion has yet to consistently tell me, much less punish me, for annoying her. She’s getting closer. I am trying to encourage her. It isn’t because I want more punishment. It’s because I want to change and be a better husband. I’ve learned that things work better if I’m punished for breaking a rule.