By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Sex
lion and lioness love
I want to wake up my sex drive. I know that Lion worries it is him.

I’ve had a lot of obstacles of my own making getting in the way of Lion’s happiness. I’m working on overcoming them. I’ve been trying to make decisions. I’ve been trying to get over my fear of actually hurting him. I’ve been trying to get over my distaste for being in charge. But the one that gets in the way most of all is one that I cannot seem to power through. And that is my lack of sex drive.

Lion is convinced that I was turned on by spanking him after his twelve day wait because I was wet when I rode him. I didn’t feel turned on. To me it was equal to his morning wood. If he’s hard he must be turned on. Not true. He’s never turned on in the morning. I can be turned on and not wet. And, apparently, I can be wet and not turned on. Regardless, I should know when I am turned on.

A day after I had given Lion a very nice orgasm he told me it was my turn that night. Was it? He said he wanted it to be. Well, it wasn’t. And even after I had ridden him for another orgasm a few days later he said I must be horny since I had been wet while riding him. I do admit that his cock inside me did feel especially nice that time, but I wasn’t turned on.

My sensitive Lion is afraid that it’s his fault he is not turning me on. Like it’s some failing on his part. Can’t it just be my problem? Can’t I just have a super low sex drive? There have only been a few times in my life that I can remember being tree-humping horny. It’s difficult to say what a normal amount of horniness is. I know generally it fluctuates over a woman’s life. Maybe it’s just been dormant for so long it needs a lot of fanfare to wake it up. Maybe it needs a banner across the front door saying “Welcome Home” and a parade with a big brass band.

I don’t know what it needs. But I do know I don’t want Lion thinking it’s his fault. So I’ve got to figure out how to get Lion-humping horny for him.

By:
In: Keyholder, Mrs Lion Comments, Sex

I think one of the reasons I hate making Lion wait is that I feel like I’ve wasted too much time already. He says he wishes we had met earlier in life and I always tell him we met when we were supposed to meet. But the truth is, we did meet late. Then I wasted time waiting for him to initiate and allowing us to have a dry spell. So why would I want to make him wait now?

Technically I know there’s a difference between the two scenarios. The first was a general ignoring of his needs. This time part of his need is to be controlled, perhaps through denial. But for me it all comes down to the same thing. I feel I’m being mean to him by making him wait. Even if it’s what he wants.

Plus, of course, I love to give him orgasms. I like to see how many different ways I can make him come. Last night’s blow job was long and slow, not much movement at all, lots of tongue, fondling his balls, and then his hips started bucking. I want it to feel good from the beginning and build up to a point that he absolutely needs to come. I want him to wonder why I don’t just go faster and do it already. To me that’s nice torture. I’m not hurting him, but I am in complete control. That’s when it’s fun for me. But any time I give him an orgasm is fun for me.

Last night was day five of his latest wait. Even though it really wasn’t a five day wait. My fault. What can I say? When I need to make him come, I need to make him come. But I didn’t give him another date. Maybe we’ll take turns, as a reader suggested. One time he’ll have a set date and the next will be more fluid. I really like having it be a surprise to him. He won’t know until I take him over the edge if he will come or not.

This is one of the difficult parts of being in charge. I can’t make up my mind. Decisions, rules and punishment. Yuck! I guess I’ve got some thinking to do.

By:
In: Advice to caged males, Femdom, Lion's Journal, Male Control (training), Punishment, Sex
squeeze technique
The squeeze technique, originally described by Masters and Johnson is an effective way to stop an orgasm. Used in conjunction with tease and deny, it can help the male have more conscious control over when he orgasms.

Most of us (males) at one time or another have wished we could “hold off” to let our partner have her orgasm.  We’ve tried to think about math problems, sports scores, the weather, anything but sex. Usually we have been unsuccessful in our efforts. Until very recently I never thought I could really control when I come, much less prevent myself from coming altogether. However, as a caged male, it might be useful to know how to do this.

As wait times between orgasm grow, our keyholders may well grow impatient at the loss of the use of their toys: our cocks. Also, since tease and deny is an important part of the forced male chastity regimen, it would be more convenient if we lose our hair triggers so that accidents would be less likely to happen. All this makes sense to me, but I’m still not a fan. However, like other caged males, I don’t get a vote.

So what is this all about? Apparently, it is possible to exercise zen-like control over the orgasm reflex. Other caged males have done it. Tantric yoga also features male orgasm control exercises. It must be possible. The question is how to do it? In a prior post I mentioned using punishment for “accidents” to provide this training. Mrs. Lion said she will not beat that into me. I expect that aside from being distasteful to her, it isn’t very helpful for me either. We need a different strategy.

First, let’s consider the situations where I will need to exercise this control. There are two: when Mrs. Lion wants to ride me but does not want me to orgasm, and when she is teasing me to the edge and wants me to assure that I won’t have an accidental ruined orgasm. My initial thinking was to consider a lion “accident” the same way you consider a puppy’s accident on the rug. By punishing the puppy, she learns to hold her bladder and go outside. Well, that doesn’t really work well for the puppy. For me, all it would do would be to make me even more unhappy I failed.

We know that some tantric practitioners can voluntarily prevent orgasm no matter what the stimulus. That means theoretically I can do it too. But how? When I feel an orgasm coming on it is overpowering. I breathe hard and make some sounds that Mrs. Lion likes. She can read the signs and stops just short of the point of no return when she teases me. I don’t feel that I have any control to delay it at that point. But what about when I feel it building up. I have at least five seconds between that indescribable tingle and the point of no return. Is there something that I can do to distract me and prevent the accident?

I am very sure being trained to only orgasm when given permission isn’t important to Mrs. Lion. It probably sounds like one more “chore” in her lion training. In fact, for many males this may not even be something your keyholder cares about. In some cases, a keyholder will want frequent intercourse and needs to feel her male’s penis inside her. This is complicated if he has an orgasm date that is still in the future. In cases like this it would be helpful if he could hold off until his times. In vanilla relationship it is always nice if the male can wait until his partner orgasms. However, would that vanilla partner be willing to help her male hold off long enough to satisfy her?

Let’s assume that it makes sense to learn to hold off. Masters and Johnson developed a technique that can effectively help a male stop an orgasm. It was developed to help train males not to ejaculate prematurely. In our context, it is an easy, effective way to help the male gain some control. During a tease and deny session, it’s an interesting variation that will serve to frustrate and educate at that same time. This is something I would like to experience if only to find out how it feels. The image above explains this simple concept.

Another easy technique is to use a method to desensitize the penis so that much more stimulation is needed to get off. This is easily done with desensitizing creams (usually Lidocaine 4 or 5 percent). A small amount applied on the underside of the penis, just below the head can work wonders. Apply and wait 15 minutes before sex. Voila! It may take some experimentation to get the right amount. Too much and he won’t be able to get or stay hard; too little and, well you know.

Another fairly simple technique is to simply wear out the male’s orgasm reaction. I mentioned this earlier in the post. It’s fun and very effective. It will take some experimentation to work it out, but once you do, your male won’t be able to orgasm at all and you can have all the fun you want.

From my perspective, the most important benefit of learning orgasm control is that it is yet another way the keyholder has taken control of her male; caged or uncaged. I have had a sort of academic interest in this. If Mrs. Lion wants to try, of course I will do my best to learn. If she doesn’t, it’s fine with me. There may be an occasional accident for which I do expect some discipline. But she needn’t expend any energy training me this way for my benefit. This is one thing she should try only if it pleases her.

By:
In: Femdom, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex
lion penis in new, shorter catge
My shortened cage came yesterday. It is much shorter than the old one. Click the image for a larger color image. Click here to view my old Jail Bird and this new one.

Mrs. Lion has been very kind to me. She hasn’t made me wait very long between most of my orgasms (see orgasm wait times on my Lion’s Adventure page. The line chart tells the story. Most of the time I have had to wait only a short time (three to five days) between orgasms. Lately that time has lengthened. My last wait was nine days and currently I am waiting twelve days. Now this isn’t a giant sacrifice for a caged male. Many routinely wait a month or more between releases. I’m not complaining. One keyholder commented to me that I come more times in a month than her male gets to come in a year. Lucky lion! Regardless, now that I have one more day to wait, I am humping trees!

There appear to be two major schools of thought about forced male chastity. One group wants to go longer and longer without orgasm. The goal appears to be indefinite waiting. Why? Who knows? By the way this is the wish of the caged males, not necessarily the keyholders. That’s not to say that a good number of keyholders want to keep their males orgasm-free for long periods. I know that’s a big component of this school. The second school seems to be the escape artists. This is a group of males who want to be locked up just to see if they can find a way to orgasm without being released. This group is almost entirely made up of single males who have taken on this hobby. It’s expensive and can be very frustrating, but for them it is a nice substitute for a sex life.

The first group, I call them long-termers, is most interesting to me. When I read what they write, it’s hard to separate the myth from reality, but it is very clear that being made to wait a long time does change them. The most interesting change which is reported by nearly all of them, is that they begin to substitute their keyholders’ orgasms for their own. When the keyholder gets to come, either with the help of the male or alone, the caged male seems to get a similar satisfaction to having an orgasm himself.

The longest I have been made to wait, until this week, has been nine days. During that time, I can’t say that I felt a transfer of Mrs. Lion’s sexual pleasure to substitute for my own. I do get hard inside my cage while I stimulate her. That has been true even when I was waiting just a couple of days. I love to get her off. But her orgasm didn’t feel to me like I was having one too.

I can say that the longer I have to wait, the more desperate I get to have that orgasm. I don’t walk around wanting to hump trees, but I feel a genuine longing for that wonderful release. I am pretty sure that if I weren’t frequently teased, that desperation would fade over time. But with regular teasing, my next orgasm is never far from my thoughts. If I were waiting longer, would I try to replace what I can’t have with what I can? Is that why these males get so much satisfaction from their keyholders’ orgasms? Could be. I’m hoping I never find out for myself, but I suspect I will one day.

Forced male chastity has stimulated Mrs. Lion and I to independently rethink the role of sex in our marriage. For a long time, sex was not a focus for us as a couple. Mrs. Lion lost interest and I just took care of myself most of the time. Our approaches to each other were very genitally centered. Mrs. Lion mentioned that to me in a recent email. We both just went for the orgasm. Thanks to me being caged and our increased level of communication, we have let each other know that this approach just doesn’t work well. Mrs. Lion has been spicing up my teasing with some nice play. I will be spicing up my advances with some treats of my own.

Schedule Vs. Spontaneous
Another aspect of desperation is the concept of knowing when the end will come. Until June, Mrs. Lion gave me no idea when my next orgasm would arrive. She gave me one when the spirit moved her. Fortunately this is a very active spirit and moved her a lot. I mentioned that it might be interesting if I know the next time I will orgasm. So, Mrs. Lion told me that my next orgasm would be July 4th with no chance of extending or reducing this sentence.

It turns out that this fixed date has been interesting for me. I find myself counting the days until I can finally orgasm. Mrs. Lion has said she has been too. Even though I am getting a lot less opportunity to come, this scheduled release has added considerable excitement to my chastity. Mrs. Lion has done a great job of reminding me that I have to wait. It’s been a lot of frustrating fun. If she also adds the opportunity to earn time off for good behavior, or adds time if I am naughty, things will get even more interesting and exciting.

Let’s face it, forced chastity is a game that plays with desperation. If rewards and penalties are added, and if the penalties are significant, the stakes go up and the game can get amazingly exciting. What’s a bit difficult for me to handle right now is that I am playing for the highest stakes: my ability to come. But that’s why it is so exciting. Mrs. Lion not only has control but can play with her control by changing how much waiting I have to do. In the meantime she can tease me and watch my desperation grow.

Once she overcomes feeling guilty for putting me through this and recognizes that this is a game we are both enjoying, I expect she will have a lot of fun too. Admittedly, my idea of fun and hers are pretty different. But she’s known that as long as we have known one another. Having fun yet, my dear lioness?