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In: Femdom, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex
fireworks display
Orgasms are like fireworks. The skyrocket and burn brightly, then disappear into memory. Edging gets closer and closer, stops, and the starts again.

I keep reading that some keyholders and caged males consider an orgasm as anti-climatic and less enjoyable than the teasing leading up to it. This reasoning suggests that orgasms are not only unnecessary, but undesirable for a male. It’s true that the male equivalent to female multi-orgasm is edging. I am capable of being brought to the edge over and over until finally, I lose the ability to reach that point at all. That’s the time it is impossible for me to come.

Mrs. Lion got me to that point only once. It was really amazing. I loved it. I also love when she edges me even if not to exhaustion. It feels great. So, am I agreeing that edging is better than coming? No, I’m not. It’s different, not better. I can’t argue with the fact that edging takes longer and gives me more sustained arousal. Mrs. Lion can keep me going a long time if she wants. If she makes me come, it’s all over. So, from that perspective I really love the edging. The edging gets better each time she does it in a session, and better each session as my last orgasm fades further into the past.

By that reasoning, shouldn’t I want to avoid that orgasm since edging improves the more desperate I get? In that sense I should. At some point though, I do want to have that orgasm. Some keyholders don’t like the relative calm and lack of docility that comes after a male orgasm. Once he comes, they say, he no longer “needs” his keyholder’s attention until he gets horny again. So, keeping him horny, keeps him controlled.

So, two reasons not to orgasm are: excitement keeps growing with teasing the longer the male waits, and he is far more willing to do what the keyholder wants when he really needs sex. Is that true of me? Yes, it is. I dream of the way it feels when Mrs. Lion edges me. I wish she would edge me more each session and have more sessions. I also love when she makes me come. That orgasm after many days of teasing and waiting blows my mind. If she feeds me the result, even better!

Orgasms have their purpose. They can be great rewards. Even though a movie is full of suspense and you don’t want it to end, you do need the plot to resolve. For me, the same is true of my orgasms. I may not get too many nowadays, but they mean a lot to me. The key for my lioness is to find the right balance between waiting and release.

By:
In: Advice for a new keyholder, Advice to caged males, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

Last night, Mrs. Lion resumed her teasing schedule. I was much more horny than I had thought. She deftly edged me several times. When she stopped, I was crazy to come. Normally, I am sorry that I didn’t get an orgasm, but last night I was hurting to come. I stayed hard quite a while after she stopped. In fact, I was still hard when I went to the kitchen with her for a snack. The weight of my erection felt odd as I walked. I almost forgot how that felt. I have to wait until Sunday for release. Time will pass very slowly, I think.

I’ve written a lot about turning an enforced chastity fantasy into reality. Most of my comments have been about the demands a typical fantasy would make on the keyholder. That’s not what this is about. This is about a much more subtle issue: her pleasure.

Pretty much every chastity fantasy includes the keyholder getting frequent orgasms while the caged male has none. The ideal fantasy  has the keyholder become more and more sex crazed as she gets turned on by the caged male’s suffering. That’s a hot fantasy! A few lucky guys actually experience this. Most of us, I think, don’t.

In our case it is very different. Mrs. Lion is currently not very interested in sex for herself. So, the sex is one way for now. She says she really likes giving me orgasms and teasing me, but it doesn’t turn her on. She is my keyholder because she knows this is something I want.

When we first started, I made comments about wanting to give her orgasms while I am locked up. It was, after all, in the fantasy. I quickly learned that this wasn’t working for her. The whole point of my enforced chastity is sexual surrender. That means that not giving Mrs. Lion orgasms is just as valid in our case as endless keyholder stimulation is for others. it’s up to the keyholder, right?

Some people have said (and written) that it isn’t “real” unless the keyholder is doing things for her pleasure. That’s just not true. It’s real for me when my keyholder forces me to wait even when I seriously ask her to let me come. It’s real for me when I remain in my cage at times that I truly want out for a while. Each time she says, “No!” I know it is real. One reason I am reluctant to use the “love coupons” Mrs. Lion has given me is because I am, at least temporarily, taking control. I have to work out being ok with that. After all, they are valuable gifts I am expected to use.

All the years I was a top I didn’t always get turned on by doing things to my bottom. Most of the time I didn’t. I was doing it for other reasons. However, it was completely real. She didn’t have the power to stop me or get me to give her an orgasm unless I wanted to. I enjoyed a lot of the begging I got. Now that turned me on.

My point is that it doesn’t matter why my lioness is my keyholder. It only matters how she handles the role. If she exercises strong sexual control she is doing her job. Why she exercises it is none of my business. She is the boss. Only if she weakens do I feel that her control is slipping. She can make me come or not come at her whim. My job is to obey cheerfully and suffer the discipline she chooses for me. Each time she notices that I break a rule and then takes appropriate action I feel exactly what I had hoped I would feel.

In short, whether or not my keyholder wants sex has nothing to do with my enforced chastity. Whether or not I want sex is irrelevant too. That’s the point. Every time Mrs. Lion spanks me or otherwise disciplines me for an infraction, my feeling of being controlled grows. Each time she makes it clear who controls if and when I can orgasm, I feel it. Why she is doing this has no effect on my submission or her authority.

By:
In: Bondage, Femdom, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

As promised, Mrs. Lion put me in my sling for a play session. She kindly warmed up our playroom, and because she knows I like it, remained fully clothed. Once safely in my restraints, she mixed hand spanking with attention to my cock. Both were really nice. She stopped and said,

So you don’t want to come today?

“Not necessarily.”

“I know it’s not up to you, but I wanted to know what you would like.”

“Right now I wouldn’t mind at all.”

“Good thing! You might be unhappy when you learn when you will get to come again.”

I didn’t say anything else. She proceeded to put increasingly larger objects up my ass. She moved each in and out, giving me a good pegging. Last, she inserted the NJoy butt plug. I barely felt it going in.

“I guess that was easy to take after the other things.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

The truth is, I had no idea it was a butt plug. It just felt like a dildo that wasn’t too big. She did take some time pegging me with the clone of my penis. It felt good and I told her. She said,

“I like how it feels, too.”

I smiled. She was thinking of the real lion penis inside her.

She also spent time playing with and sucking my cock. She brought me to the edge several times. Then, she took some clothespins that have sandpaper on the gripping surface and put them on my balls. Ouch! She didn’t stop there. She took out the tiny clothespins and put four of them on my cock head (image). Now I remember clearly how much they hurt. This tine I didn’t stay hard after she put them on. I guess I am out of practice.

Next, Mrs. Lion removed the clothespins from my cock and used her mouth to make it feel better and gave me a great orgasm. She said there was a lot of semen. Well, it had been eight days. Tonight I am a happy lion. Next time maybe Mrs. Lion will put more of them on me and I will stay hard. Stay tuned.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

(Saturday, October 25, 2014) Mrs. Lion wrote in her post yesterday that she prefers being naked while topping me. In the past I’ve expressed that I think it is sexier if she is dressed.  I thought it was a small thing that wouldn’t matter to her. In a traditional BDSM scene, the top is almost always clothed unless getting sexual service from the bottom. Being naked in the presence of clothed people is a powerful symbol of vulnerability. There’s an entire fetish of CFNM (Clothed Female, Naked Male) that features a naked man with one or more clothed women who tease, play, and masturbate him. To me, that is extremely hot.

Does that mean Mrs. Lion should be dressed when we play? Well, yes and no. I like when she is clothed, but it isn’t that important to me. Why? Because we have been together a long time and being naked in her presence doesn’t have that little humiliation it would in front of others. It comes down to what works for both of us. I had no idea that by being naked she felt more connected. That seems a bit weird to me. When we play, very little of her body is involved; mostly her hands and mouth (if I am lucky). So Mrs. Lion prefers NFNM (Naked Female Naked Male) which is the vanilla mode for sex. Based on what she wrote, being naked improves her enjoyment of our play. By all means she should be naked then! It isn’t about what I want, right?

When we play, I don’t see her a great deal of the time. I am either on my knees or stomach facing away from her, or in the sling where I am looking straight up in the air. From a practical point of view, Mrs. Lion can be naked without it being a problem for me. This reminds me of an old friend. She was a dominant and played often. The guys who bottomed to her liked to see her in leather. So, she would dress in tight, sexy leather pants, vest, etc. when they arrived at her place or at a party. She would restrain them and blindfold them. Next, she took off her leathers and put on comfy jeans and a t-shirt. The bottoms never knew the difference. In their minds (and no, I wasn’t her play partner), she was this hot leather-clad dominatrix, but in reality she was comfortably dressed in jeans. If I think about it, the only time that having Mrs. Lion clothed makes a difference is when she edges me or masturbates me with no hope of sex with her. Even then, I am fine if she is bare too. We have a very nice blindfold. Maybe Mrs. Lion will use it.

There is one article of “clothing” that it is helpful for Mrs. Lion to wear at times. That is rubber gloves. I don’t have a rubber fetish. The gloves don’t turn me on. But, when she is working on getting her hand in my ass, the gloves provide a smoother surface. The same is true of dildos. The ones that are smooth without the bumps and veins of a silicone penis are much more comfortable to accept. Try it yourself. It’s surprising how much difference that change in surface makes. Once I get comfortable accepting larger objects, the gloves can certainly come off. I can then also handle more realistic dildos too.

Some time this weekend Mrs. Lion said she will put me in the sling for some penetration and other play. I will ask Mrs. Lion to take some pictures that we can share here. My level of interest has gone way up. I’m getting spontaneous erections again and actually want to come. It’s been a week since my last orgasm. I am ok if I don’t come this weekend. It might be interesting to see how things develop if I have to wait longer.