By:
In: Male Chastity, Sex

Mrs. Lion is under the weather. She has a combination of her monthlies plus what might be a reaction to her flu shot. She is in bed feeling tired and achy. Last night we had some of my homemade chicken soup. That cures anything. So, understandably, we are in a sexual lull. I’ve been thinking about conditioning a lot lately. Mrs. Lion, that doesn’t mean you are failing me because you don’t do it! I’ve been thinking about it, that’s all.

Conditioning, at least my definition, is learning something so well that it becomes virtually involuntary. The taught behavior becomes normal. One area that’s had my interest for years is controlled orgasm. In the past, I trained a couple of women to come on command, and conversely not be able to come without my permission. Fortunately, this wasn’t a permanent behavioral change. It required frequent exercise to keep it strong.

Many keyholders help their caged males learn to withhold orgasm unless they have permission. That’s particularly useful if the caged male’s penis is desired for intercourse or other recreational uses. Once learned, there is very little risk of an “accident”. The keyholder learns just how far she can go before he can’t hold back. Over time, it should be possible for him to simply lose the ability to ejaculate without permission. That, of course, is the goal of conditioning.

Learning to come on command is a very popular male fantasy. I’ve had it for many years. It is the ultimate sexual control. Not only is the cage a physical barrier to unauthorized erection and orgasm, but now the body itself, loses the ability to orgasm without the keyholder’s command. That idea is very arousing to me.

I don’t know any men who have, in fact learned to come on command. If conditioned to do this, without any stimulation, the male will begin ejaculating without any stimulation. His keyholder says, “come for me!” and the semen flows from his hard or soft penis. I think that is an ideal that is not attainable for most. However, it is pretty easy to teach a male to come during masturbation when he is told, and not come until he gets the command.

This can be done with a combination of two exercises. The first is to teach him to hold off unless he gets permission. This is done during edging. When close to orgasm, tell him not to come until you allow it, if you allow it. When he gets close, say, “Wait, wait.” If you see he is unable to wait any longer, stop. Avoid a ruined orgasm. Let him recover a bit and try again. Over time he will learn to master holding off. Praise him when he does. Reward is critical. Punishment is of questionable value for conditioning, but is part of my fantasy. An accident would earn me a long, hard spanking right after I ejaculate. As I said, this probably isn’t going to make me better at holding off.

The second exercise is learning to ejaculate when told. A simple method for this is for you to  masturbate him and then at the right moment, order him to come and watch him squirt. When first starting out, masturbate him until he is very close, tell him you will count down from ten to one. You want him to come before you reach one. Count down slowly so he will succeed. Over time, start the count when he is not quite so close. Try to time it so he succeeds, but succeeds earlier and earlier in his arousal cycle. When he seems to have mastered this well; he will ejaculate within the ten count even though you have not stimulated him too much, you can count from five to one. The goal is to get him to come when you say, “Ready” (pause a second or two), “Set” (pause again, this time until you know he is about to squirt), and then, “Go!” You want him to succeed.

This process takes a long time and it doesn’t always work with every man. But I am pretty sure that it would work with me over time. Teaching a male to voluntarily control a process he has never controlled isn’t easy. Holding off is the first step at that control. Coming on your command has him learn that he can’t ejaculate without your command. This can take a year or more. However, I doubt it will be boring to either of you.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

Living in forced chastity has taught me many new things. One of the most startling to me is that I now behave like other mammals when it comes to sex. Other critters like dogs, cats, even lions in the wild don’t spend time wandering around with erections just trying to figure out how to get off. They need some stimulus before they get frisky. Men, on the other hand, spend a great deal of time thinking about and actively looking for sex. Most will masturbate if no sex partner is handy.

Being locked up seems to have restored my wild lion instincts. Unless there is a real opportunity to get off, I tend to not think about sex too much. Now, this doesn’t just happen. I have to go a while without stimulation. If Mrs. Lion doesn’t tease me, after about 24 hours I start to lose interest in sex. Only when opportunity returns; Mrs. Lion gives me some sexual attention, do I once more return to my permanently horny self. My interest in sex fades starting about 24 hours after the last tease. Since Mrs. Lion teases me every other day, by the night after my last tease, my interest falls off sharply.

I’m still actively thinking about sex, but none of the desperation is there. This is true no matter how long its been since my last orgasm. However, my interest in sex, if available, grows each day I wait. The longer its been since my last orgasm, the stronger my reaction to any stimulation by Mrs. Lion. It’s truly odd. If Mrs. Lion makes me come every day, I quickly weary of it. It’s just too much for my old body. But teasing is clearly different. There’s no such thing as too much.

Maybe it’s an age thing.  Perhaps the length of time active physical interest remains after activity decreases as we get older. I don’t know. I do know that in my case, it seems to drop off within 24 hours of cock teasing. It also take more physical stimulation to get me going than it did when I was younger. It may be that one reason why enforced chastity seems to be more popular with older men is that there is less sexual urgency. That makes accepting long waits between orgasms easier to take.

In my case it is clear that my age has made it easier for me to accept waiting unless I get frequent cock teasing. Each time Mrs. Lion teases me (and she is very good at that!) it reminds my body of what it is missing and my interest in release returns in spades.

By:
In: Femdom, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex
fireworks display
Orgasms are like fireworks. The skyrocket and burn brightly, then disappear into memory. Edging gets closer and closer, stops, and the starts again.

I keep reading that some keyholders and caged males consider an orgasm as anti-climatic and less enjoyable than the teasing leading up to it. This reasoning suggests that orgasms are not only unnecessary, but undesirable for a male. It’s true that the male equivalent to female multi-orgasm is edging. I am capable of being brought to the edge over and over until finally, I lose the ability to reach that point at all. That’s the time it is impossible for me to come.

Mrs. Lion got me to that point only once. It was really amazing. I loved it. I also love when she edges me even if not to exhaustion. It feels great. So, am I agreeing that edging is better than coming? No, I’m not. It’s different, not better. I can’t argue with the fact that edging takes longer and gives me more sustained arousal. Mrs. Lion can keep me going a long time if she wants. If she makes me come, it’s all over. So, from that perspective I really love the edging. The edging gets better each time she does it in a session, and better each session as my last orgasm fades further into the past.

By that reasoning, shouldn’t I want to avoid that orgasm since edging improves the more desperate I get? In that sense I should. At some point though, I do want to have that orgasm. Some keyholders don’t like the relative calm and lack of docility that comes after a male orgasm. Once he comes, they say, he no longer “needs” his keyholder’s attention until he gets horny again. So, keeping him horny, keeps him controlled.

So, two reasons not to orgasm are: excitement keeps growing with teasing the longer the male waits, and he is far more willing to do what the keyholder wants when he really needs sex. Is that true of me? Yes, it is. I dream of the way it feels when Mrs. Lion edges me. I wish she would edge me more each session and have more sessions. I also love when she makes me come. That orgasm after many days of teasing and waiting blows my mind. If she feeds me the result, even better!

Orgasms have their purpose. They can be great rewards. Even though a movie is full of suspense and you don’t want it to end, you do need the plot to resolve. For me, the same is true of my orgasms. I may not get too many nowadays, but they mean a lot to me. The key for my lioness is to find the right balance between waiting and release.

By:
In: Advice for a new keyholder, Advice to caged males, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

Last night, Mrs. Lion resumed her teasing schedule. I was much more horny than I had thought. She deftly edged me several times. When she stopped, I was crazy to come. Normally, I am sorry that I didn’t get an orgasm, but last night I was hurting to come. I stayed hard quite a while after she stopped. In fact, I was still hard when I went to the kitchen with her for a snack. The weight of my erection felt odd as I walked. I almost forgot how that felt. I have to wait until Sunday for release. Time will pass very slowly, I think.

I’ve written a lot about turning an enforced chastity fantasy into reality. Most of my comments have been about the demands a typical fantasy would make on the keyholder. That’s not what this is about. This is about a much more subtle issue: her pleasure.

Pretty much every chastity fantasy includes the keyholder getting frequent orgasms while the caged male has none. The ideal fantasy  has the keyholder become more and more sex crazed as she gets turned on by the caged male’s suffering. That’s a hot fantasy! A few lucky guys actually experience this. Most of us, I think, don’t.

In our case it is very different. Mrs. Lion is currently not very interested in sex for herself. So, the sex is one way for now. She says she really likes giving me orgasms and teasing me, but it doesn’t turn her on. She is my keyholder because she knows this is something I want.

When we first started, I made comments about wanting to give her orgasms while I am locked up. It was, after all, in the fantasy. I quickly learned that this wasn’t working for her. The whole point of my enforced chastity is sexual surrender. That means that not giving Mrs. Lion orgasms is just as valid in our case as endless keyholder stimulation is for others. it’s up to the keyholder, right?

Some people have said (and written) that it isn’t “real” unless the keyholder is doing things for her pleasure. That’s just not true. It’s real for me when my keyholder forces me to wait even when I seriously ask her to let me come. It’s real for me when I remain in my cage at times that I truly want out for a while. Each time she says, “No!” I know it is real. One reason I am reluctant to use the “love coupons” Mrs. Lion has given me is because I am, at least temporarily, taking control. I have to work out being ok with that. After all, they are valuable gifts I am expected to use.

All the years I was a top I didn’t always get turned on by doing things to my bottom. Most of the time I didn’t. I was doing it for other reasons. However, it was completely real. She didn’t have the power to stop me or get me to give her an orgasm unless I wanted to. I enjoyed a lot of the begging I got. Now that turned me on.

My point is that it doesn’t matter why my lioness is my keyholder. It only matters how she handles the role. If she exercises strong sexual control she is doing her job. Why she exercises it is none of my business. She is the boss. Only if she weakens do I feel that her control is slipping. She can make me come or not come at her whim. My job is to obey cheerfully and suffer the discipline she chooses for me. Each time she notices that I break a rule and then takes appropriate action I feel exactly what I had hoped I would feel.

In short, whether or not my keyholder wants sex has nothing to do with my enforced chastity. Whether or not I want sex is irrelevant too. That’s the point. Every time Mrs. Lion spanks me or otherwise disciplines me for an infraction, my feeling of being controlled grows. Each time she makes it clear who controls if and when I can orgasm, I feel it. Why she is doing this has no effect on my submission or her authority.