By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

There’s a kids’ game that friends of mine played when they were young. On car trips the first one to spot a VW Beetle yells, “Punch Buggy!” and hits the other kid in the arm. I thought that was a terrific way to reach a destination with the loss of use of an arm. I also realized that the game distracted the kids from the boredom of a long car trip. I know that today’s kids have a plethora of video entertainment to enjoy while traveling so punch buggy isn’t nearly as popular. [Mrs. Lion – My daughter still plays this game. She gets me every time.]

This all came to mind after Lorie commented on my post about loss of play because my lioness has been so tired. I know that most readers don’t go back to the comments. I want to share this with you:

Lorie – “This sounds a lot like my husband & I. I love him with all my heart & soul but the energy isn’t there. Sometimes I just want to snuggle & do nothing but watch TV, I feel so stressed & pressured if I don’t do something sexual most of the time. He recently had knee surgery so he’s been out of sink sexually but now he’s getting back into things & I’m exhausted from being the full time nurse & care giver along with being a full time mom & taking her here & there for appointments & working full time. Who wants to have anything to do with sex after a day like that & that’s every day.”

I can’t argue with her point. Even without her husband’s surgery, she has a full plate. He, on the other hand, due to the surgery probably has more time on his hands than he wants. Now that he is feeling horny again he wants some fun. Sadly, it’s not an unusual problem. She doesn’t mention whether they’ve discussed enforced chastity. I think it offers a way to help bring things back.

In our case, we just pushed other things in front of sex. It was easier. After all, sex is recreation and easily skipped when time is short. The problem for us is that sex and intimacy are very closely related. No sex, then no snuggling followed by less communication on all levels. When we began enforced chastity, it was to indulge a kink of mine. I think Mrs. Lion believed it would just be more work for her with little or no reward.

That’s the root of the problem: work. Lorie seems to be thinking of sex as just more energy-draining work. In some sense, I suppose that’s true. But maybe our case could be instructive. I asked to be locked up. Once locked up it was sexy to be denied. Orgasm was no longer a guaranteed part of sex. If you’ve been reading here, you know that story. With my penis out of reach (hers or mine without unlocking me), my thoughts weren’t about missing the sex we weren’t having. They were about how much I wanted her to unlock my cock for some attention; no orgasm required. While locked up, a friendly ball rub or ass pat became a very sexy event, not the promise of an orgasm.

You can see where I’m going. He gets excited by the fact he can’t have sex. He isn’t upset you won’t have sex with him. It’s making lemons into lemonade. Just for argument sake, consider that it’s been a long, very tiring day and you are so glad to just get to bed. Would you like to straddle his face and have him give you nice orgasms and then you can roll over and go to sleep? You can get sexual pleasure without even considering reciprocation. By the way, he’ll love it. He’s having sex even though his penis isn’t involved.

Maybe on an afternoon where a friend takes your daughter off to her activity and you have leftovers planned for dinner, you can go into the bedroom, unlock him and give him his orgasm. While he’s healing it probably isn’t going to be intercourse, but he’ll have a lot of fun with a handjob. Most guys, including me, don’t get to come every week. I get more orgasms than most guys and I get an orgasm every ten days or so. Lorie, could you manage that?

Of course, I’m almost certainly reading too much into this comment. That’s because I have been trying to figure out why my relationship and sex life have improved so much since I was locked up. I do like lemonade.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Sex

This is the time of year when I just have to force myself out of bed in the morning. It’s dark, rainy and cold. I feel my age and find myself worrying about how much future I have left. Enforced chastity is very much a kink that deals with the future. It’s all about the next orgasm. Of course, living in the moment is possible as long as I don’t include sex in the moment. Well, I can include it as something that’s not going to happen until the appointed date.

It’s odd in a way that I even have that thought.  I think more about sex than ever. When I could get off anytime I wanted, sex for me was just a fleeting thought now and then. Yes, I saw women who were sexy and speculated about them naked. But I never really put any thought into the next time I would get off. Why should I? All I needed was my left hand and some privacy.

Things are completely different now. I know that sex on demand is no longer possible for me. For some reason that fact causes me to think about getting off much more than before enforced chastity. It isn’t as though I don’t get sex. Mrs. Lion is very generous about giving me orgasms. It’s just how I react to being caged. Before starting enforced chastity, the idea of being locked up in a chastity device would turn me on. So, when I thought about being unable to get hard, I got hard. Now that I am locked up, I think more about getting off. What can I say?

Many years ago when I first learned about enforced chastity, I was more surprised at my reaction to it than I was to the idea itself. I had never considered that there such a thing as enforced male chastity. As soon as I discovered it, I had to learn more. Now over 15 years later, I am locked in a chastity device.

Logically, my reaction makes no sense. Well, actually it does. I also get turned on by bondage. Tie me spread-eagle to the bed and I am hard before the last cuff gets fastened. Something about losing control turns me on. Not being able to have sex makes me want it more. It’s like saying, “Don’t think about chocolate cake.” What are you thinking about? You get the idea. I’ve been turned on by this from childhood. Long before I had any idea what was happening, I would get hard thinking about being tied up.

It could be that enforced chastity has that same appeal. My penis is helpless; trapped inside a steel cage. No matter how much I want to be hard and to come, the cage prevents it. That is hot, isn’t it?

By:
In: Bondage, Orgasm, Sex, Spanking

As you can imagine, we spent the night in last night. We’re not much for parties and standing in the cold to watch fireworks we can see on TV seems ridiculous. We had our Chinese takeout and settled in for the night. In addition to being New Year’s eve, it was Lion’s orgasm night. We had our own festivities.

I combined Lion’s love of three things. First I cuffed his hands together and then I cuffed his feet together. I didn’t tie him to the bed because I knew he be turning over and I wanted him to remain cuffed the entire time. Yes, Lion, there was a method to my madness. I grabbed all the paddles in the bedroom and brought them to the bed. Lion laughed at me. He thought it was overkill. I told him I didn’t know which ones I’d want so I brought them all. Most of them are the ones I use for punishment, but of course, they can work just fine for play spanking. I made Lion’s butt a lovely shade of rosy red. I even bit him a few times. He was a very good boy and stayed still the whole time.

When I was done with his tush I had him roll over. He was still cuffed so it was a little difficult but he managed. I asked him if he was ready to come and he said I had to determine when he was ready. I started off with my hands but then I realized what he really wanted was my mouth. I had to uncuff his feet for that. As soon as my mouth touched him he was harder. Now he was really ready. He’s gotten it in his mind that I have to give him permission to come. That’s difficult to do when I’m sucking him. Besides, I like to push him to the point that he has no choice in the matter. I never get mad at him for coming too soon. That just means I’ve done my job. And I get mad at myself when he has a ruined orgasm if that wasn’t what I was going for, and I rarely go for that. But, for last night, I gave him permission and he had the most prolific orgasm he’s had in a while. And, although I thought I had sucked him dry, he was dripping for a while afterwards. Yum!

The only problem is that, somehow, Lion has a sore on his penis now. It was there before he came. We don’t know how it happened. The easiest explanation is that he got pinched in the cage. I won’t say I told you so, but he did want the cage locked on a little too quickly the other night. It might have happened then. I don’t know if he’ll be able to have his New Year’s day orgasm. He’s decided if he can’t have one then I should. We’ll see. It’s supposed to be his night again.

Lion ended the old year with a gush. I’m still hoping he can start the new year with one.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

Sometimes I feel like I am one more chore for Mrs. Lion to do. It’s a bit difficult to say this correctly. Mrs. Lion keeps me locked up and provides regular teasing because she knows it is something I want. Enforced chastity has done a lot for us as a couple, but the specific sexual activities are for my sole benefit. Mrs. Lion never sighs heavily as she takes out the key to my cage for a teasing session, but I get a strong impression that I am a chore that interrupts what she would rather be doing.

Maybe this is unavoidable in a situation where my lioness has no interest in sex for herself, but it makes me feel that I am a lot of trouble for her. Between my allergies and the cleaning they require and the teasing and orgasms for me, I am a lot of bother. My fantasies lately are about earning teasing and orgasm; doing things in exchange for stimulation. Usually they are sexual things. I wonder about why this is my favorite topic. I think the reason is that I am feeling guilty about just “taking” pleasure. I also find the idea hot in its own right.

I’ve always been indirect when asking if we are going to play. It just doesn’t feel right to demand attention when I am not providing any. One of the reasons I thought that enforced chastity would be especially good for us was that by putting all choice in Mrs. Lion’s hands, I wouldn’t feel guilty about wanting something I can’t reciprocate. I still feel guilty, but I think we are doing something that helps our marriage.

I can now understand why I avoided asking for sex before enforced chastity. It made me feel selfish. I just couldn’t initiate in a way Mrs. Lion liked. It was never her fault. It’s mine. Somewhere along the line I lost some of my sexual self-confidence. Ironically, it is returning now. I find myself easily able to ask Mrs. Lion if we can play. I also ask her if I can do something for her. For now, the answer to that last question is a very tentative “maybe”.

The problem is that we both feel guilty. Mrs. Lion feels that her lack of interest is responsible for me feeling badly and I feel that sex for me is another chore; cheerfully done, but just work for her. None of this touches directly on enforced chastity, but the practice forces this issue front and center. If we stopped enforced chastity today, the problem would still be there but we could more easily push it into the background. We agree we don’t want to do that.

This is a situation where nobody is doing anything wrong. We are so focused on each other that we are getting in our own way. I think that we need to talk more about this and look for ways we can overcome this. We are both doing the right thing. We should feel good about it, not guilty.