By:
In: Femdom, Lion's Journal, Sex

The holidays are here in the U.S. Christmas is a week away and people are shopping madly. In a previous post I suggested that a good gift for a man who wants to try enforced chastity is a donation toward a custom chastity device. I don’t think it is a good idea to buy him one. It’s very hard to get fitting right and you would probably give away what you planned for a surprise if you start measuring his cock.

Actually, if your partner has at one time or another let you know he was thinking about enforced chastity, the best gift is free. You can’t wrap it and present it to him, but you can make him very happy.What to do? Start dropping hints about sexual control. You know, “Hey sweetie, I was thinking it might be fun to only let you come when I tell you.” That will set his little heart going pitty-pat. You can escalate too. Play with him and get him close to orgasm and then very sweetly tell him, “Not tonight, dear. Let’s save it for when you really want it.”

You get the idea; little messages that suggest you want control of his penis. See how he responds. You may find that your macho partner really does want his little weenie owned by you. Worst case: you will get some puzzled looks. Chances are that he will be intrigued. If he responds positively, or neutrally — he doesn’t strongly object to your small efforts at control — then keep on trucking. Try asking him to give you a nice oral orgasm. Then, when you are done, kiss him sweetly and tell him that if he keeps on being good he will get his turn. Roll over and go to sleep.

No doubt that behavior will be puzzling to him. If he continues to accept your control,  you are both on your way. There’s no rush to even mention a chastity device. He may surprise you and ask for one. This may sound sneaky to some. It really isn’t. Sexual control fantasies are deeply felt and very often never expressed. The gift, you see, is providing a positive environment to allow him not only to express his fantasy, but to live it. It takes time to feel safe being so vulnerable. You are making it possible for him to allow that inner desire for sexual control to come out and play.

There’s a chance he will hate sexual control. OK, chalk that one off your naughty list. My guess is that even if surrendering sexually isn’t his thing, your gentle attempt at controlling him will give him a chance to express his sexual fantasies. Whether you end up as his keyholder or not, you’ve opened the door to new, very-interesting possibilities. Have fun!

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

There are so many different ways that people practice enforced chastity, it has to be bewildering to someone just thinking about it. On the surface it doesn’t seem very complex: remove a guy’s access to his penis and let someone else controls what happens next. Simple, right? Not so much.

As I have learned, the uncomplicated-sounding power exchange is fraught with questions and issues. There is nothing simple about sex. Yes, the actual process is dog doo simple. We all learn how to produce orgasms for ourselves by puberty. The finer points of interpersonal sex take longer, but most of us manage to do an adequate job without attending classes.

You’d think that not having sex would require no training at all. Keep stimulation away from his penis and you are done. We males are more complex than that. My first revelation back in the 90’s was that even thinking about wearing a chastity device got me hard. How about that? Thinking about not being able to get off turned me on. That has to be the very definition of perverse. I’ve learned that most of the guys who end up in enforced chastity have the same reaction. Show us a device to lock our cocks away and we are rock hard.

This paradox has to be confusing to our partners. Hell, it’s confusing to me! Having my hands and feet tied up also makes me hard. There is a pattern emerging. I think it isn’t the chastity device that gets my juices flowing, it’s the loss of control. When Mrs. Lion started fixing my hands above my head, she noticed a reaction below my waist. Conversely, releasing my cock from its cage, doesn’t turn me on  at all.

There it is again, the old can’t vs. won’t story. Deciding I won’t give myself an orgasm isn’t in the least exciting to me. But discovering I can’t give myself and orgasm is very arousing. Remove the barrier that prevents me from doing it myself and I lose interest. Of course, it isn’t black and white, but it is a dark shade of grey in my case.

The dichotomy between the physiological need for orgasm and the arousal from denial make life interesting for me. I am deeply aroused by knowing that no matter how much I want it, my next orgasm is under someone else’s control. That doesn’t stop the other part of me from desperately wanting release. This has to be confusing to Mrs. Lion who is receiving seriously mixed messages from me.

Being my keyholder is a delicate balancing act between frustrating me and turning me on by doing so, and giving me sex often enough to keep hope and hormones alive. This is further complicated by my natural body rhythms that change in some sort of cycle and external circumstances that can temporarily kill my interest in sex.

I have about ten days until my next scheduled orgasm. Sometime between now and then I will desperately want release. At the same time I will undoubtedly want to be physically prevented from that same release. What’s a lioness to do? She’s been trying to figure that out for two years.

The fact is that I don’t know what is right for me. I discover that at the same time as Mrs. Lion. In a way I am very happy with that. Enforced chastity is not a cut-and-dried process. It is organic and varies widely with each couple practicing it.

By:
In: Edging, Lion's Journal, Sex

For me, at least, being horny isn’t a constant condition even when I am most desperate for an orgasm. It isn’t like a headache that just hangs in there for me. For example, I can be at work and focused on the task at hand; then sex isn’t even in the top ten things on my mind. However, a mental or visual cue appears and faster than a ruined orgasm I am aching for Mrs. Lion’s soft touch on my penis.

I think she is partly correct in assessing my level of desire on how quickly I get erect once she pays attention to it. The exception is when something else provides a very powerful distraction. For example, if I am worried about money we need now, it can take extra time to change my focus. As we’ve learned recently, the soft-to-hard time can decrease with variety in her approach. Bondage supercharges my little engine. Tie my hands and my lap time goes way down.

Mrs. Lion has reported that my actual time from beginning stimulation on my hard penis to ejaculation remains fairly constant regardless of horny level. Of course, any edging prior to going for the finish line reduces that final lap time significantly. In the past, her repeated edging has gotten my time down to a few seconds.

Of course, time to orgasm isn’t a race. In my case it is more correctly time to almost orgasm. I now that Mrs. Lion enjoys it when she gets me so close that she can bring me to the edge in just a few strokes. She does that over and over. Once she repeated it so many times I just got soft. As she said, she broke me. Happily, I recover in a few hours and I am ready for more.

I don’t think time to erection and then time to the edge are reliable indicators of how much I want release. Too many other mental and physical factors affect my lap times. As Mrs. Lion discovered, there is a much more reliable sign indicating my degree of need. I start bucking, trying to hump her hand or mouth when I just have to come. She is very good at allowing some to work (by holding on and letting me hump her hand or mouth) and then before I can get to the promised land, releasing the pressure and I find myself humping air. On occasion, she has let me hump her hand all the way to orgasm. She didn’t move at all, just provided the grip. We have a video that shows a guy enjoying that practice. It’s very intense and gives me a brief illusion of being in control.

I never imagined there were so many ways to bring me to the edge and beyond. I also never considered being horny as something that has different levels. Nearly two years of enforced chastity and endless teasing and edging has taught me there are, indeed, many levels of sexual need ranging from possibly interested to tree-humping horny. Mrs. Lion has had me experience all of them. I’m a very lucky lion.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Sex

Lion was trying to guess when his next scheduled orgasm will be. He said Christmas day. Nope. Sorry. Buzzzzz. Wrong. It’s Christmas eve. I started that tradition last year and I see no reason to end it this year. He will get an orgasm as an early Christmas present on Christmas eve and then another one on Christmas day. In addition to that, he will have one New Year’s eve and another on New Year’s day. Out with the old. In with the new. I dislike the end of the year so I’ve decided to celebrate with my own tidings of good cheer. In the event Lion is unable to perform in any of these scheduled shows, I will be forced to find a stand-in. Just kidding, Lion. Geez! [Lion – I hope so. We are not looking for volunteers!]

I hope this list of pending orgasms doesn’t put undue pressure on Lion. I’m just trying to make the end of the year fun. What’s more fun than orgasms? I’m giving him something to look forward to. True, he has to wait thirteen days between tonight and Christmas eve, but he will be a very busy boy two nights in a row. Then he has a rest of a little less than a week before he gets busy again. I don’t remember what the next date is but I’m sure he has a decent rest period.

There may be some other surprises for Lion coming up too. I’m thinking red and green nail polish. Perhaps a candy cane blow job. It’s an interesting feeling when I brush my teeth and then suck him. I bet a candy cane would have a similar effect. What about a strategically placed mistletoe? There are quite a few possibilities. Who says Christmas can’t be fun for adults too?