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In: Domestic discipline, Orgasm denial

Some bloggers number their posts. I’m not sure why. If you’re curious, this is post 5,652. That’s of no significance to me, but there you go. Anyway, I’ve noticed that almost every chastity or spanking blog was founded and is written by the person on the bottom. It is exceptionally rare to hear from a keyholder or spanker.

One notable exception, other than us, was Juile of Strict Julie Spanked (It used to be Spanks). Before she decided to switch and become a disciplined wife, she wrote about spanking her husband. Mrs. Lion is contributing, and she is my disciplining wife and keyholder. Though consistent with the trend, I started this blog.

There must be exceptions out there, but almost every couple who spanks does it at the request of the spanked spouse. The same is true for male chastity and orgasm control. The male wishing to be locked up introduces it to his partner. Similarly, the vast majority of BDSM toys are bought by bottoms. The same is true of domestic discipline and female-led marriages. The concept is almost always introduced by the partner who will be disciplined.

We started this blog to give a more balanced picture of these power exchanges. Mrs. Lion regularly tempers my ideas with her reactions. We’ve settled in to a very manageable power exchange. Orgasm control and domestic discipline are now unremarkable, routine parts of our life together. Butt-blistering spankings are administered without so much of a comment by either of us. Punishment is a fact of life for me.

The same is true of orgasm control. Mrs. Lion gives me orgasms when she decides I should have them. There is no argument or discussion. I never masturbate. That’s it. I don’t think either of us believed that this was how things would turn out when we started male chastity in 2014. Somehow, they have. We are both happy with how things are working.

I understand that some of our readers find it hard to believe this. Orgasm control and domestic discipline seem exotic. A lot of men fear the loss of sexual control. Guys who are turned on by the idea of being spanked wouldn’t consider letting their wives punish them. I get it. I felt the same way at first.

The simple fact is that I need spanking. I need it for sexual reasons. It also turns out that I need it as a reminder to do my chores. Let me put that another way. I need to know that Mrs. Lion isn’t building resentment and anger over things I may have done or said that upset her. She set a couple of simple rules that make things easier for her and for us. Not performing these things upset her. No, she isn’t boiling mad if I forget to set up the coffee, but it annoys her at 7 AM when she has to put the coffee pot together.

If she couldn’t punish me for forgetting, she would most likely stuff her feelings and go on with her day. In the past, when she’s done that, at some point, she boils over and gives me the silent treatment. A crack appears in our relationship. If I forget, she smiles and lets me know that I’m in trouble. Later, she will spank me. That helps me remember. It also resolves any feelings that Mrs. Lion might have stuffed.

Other things upset her. She hates to be interrupted and gets upset when I am a know-it-all. We’ve discussed this, and I’m on notice that doing either of those things can earn me a spanking. So far, Mrs. Lion almost never punishes me for this. When she gives me a “just because” spanking, she will sometimes tell me that it is for interrupting or annoying her. Last week, she said she might become more consistent about punishing that kind of behavior. So far, she hasn’t.

Orgasm control is more of a game. It’s fun for both of us to play with my need to get off. There’s a subtle, more serious side to this. Mrs. Lion knows that she and she alone gives me sexual pleasure. I can’t do it myself and certainly can’t let another woman do it. There’s a nice sense of security. Mrs. Lion doesn’t have to worry that she has lost her libido. She knows that I still need her to find ways to get me off. She does a very good job with that.

Domestic discipline isn’t so much a dominant/submissive practice. It’s more of a construct that balances the power in our marriage. I’m as much of a leader as ever. I now have a boss who makes sure that I keep things in good order. Both orgasm control and domestic discipline are pressure-release valves in our marriage. They work well for us.

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In: Spanking, Orgasm denial

Lion came out of his office after 4:30. I set up the spanking bench while he did whatever he was doing. I put the straps on him. By the time we got going, it was about 4:45. Lion said he still needed to set up the coffee pot, so I should make sure to be done in time for that. Was he really telling me to hurry up? Is it my fault he didn’t come out of his office earlier? Is it my fault he didn’t set up the coffee pot when he was out checking on his beloved tomato plants? No. He couldn’t possibly be saying any of that.

Aside from telling me the lower strap should be tighter, he also said I was hitting too hard at one point. First, he says he hasn’t felt the past few spankings for very long afterwards, and now he says I’m hitting too hard. I think he’s in need of a “shut up, Lion” spanking. Nevertheless, I backed off a bit. In the end, pun intended, I thought I whomped him harder and he’d feel it longer. No such luck. I guess I need to go back to the wooden paddles whether they cause bleeding or not. I just don’t get the same effect out of the leather ones.

After dinner, I told Lion I wanted him across the bed so I could suck him. He never moves as fast as when I tell him that. He’s like a blur. Zoom! Ready. He was quick to get hard, but it still took a while to get him really going. I swear he’s said recently that I haven’t been edging him like I used to. I know we went through a patch where I didn’t live up to my agreement of playing with him every other day. He needs more attention than that. This time around, I’ve been trying to arouse him every day. He just hasn’t been interested. He’s also been concerned about my head hurting. I won’t do it if my head hurts. If I’m offering, it means I’m good to go. I decided to edge him last night. Of course, when I was done, he said he was hoping for an orgasm. If I’d given him an orgasm, he’d have said he wanted me to edge him. Welcome to the no-win department.

Tonight, I may or may not give him an orgasm. I haven’t decided yet. I still like playing with my food.

By:
In: Edging, Orgasm denial

I can’t tell you how good it was to get home last night. The dog went nuts. She couldn’t run around fast enough to show me how much she missed me. I think it was on my layover, when I was talking to Lion, he put me on speaker and she looked for me when she heard my voice. But nothing compared to the chaos of actually walking through the door. Lion tried to come out of the bedroom to greet me, but decided it was better to wait for me rather than have the dog knock him over. She wouldn’t have done it on purpose. She almost knocked me over a few times in her frenzy.

I stopped and grabbed dinner for us on the way home. I didn’t think either of us would want to cook or even figure out what to eat. Burgers and fries sounded good. It wasn’t the food that mattered. It was the company. I was tired. I’d been up since 7 am, which is 4 am west coast time. Obviously, whatever time it said on our bedroom clock, my body said it was three hours later. Despite that, I managed to make it till after 11 before we went to bed. And we woke up at 7. And then we went back to sleep again. I’m still tired but it’s more of a normal tired.

Based on Lion’s post from this morning, I’m not sure if he wants an orgasm or not. Maybe he wants an orgasm, but he doesn’t want me to tell him when he’s getting it. I was going to give him an orgasm whether he wanted it or not just to “reset” the clock. I don’t think he wants that. So what do I do? If I try to arouse him and it doesn’t work, do I just give up for the day? He seemed to like the idea of being tied to the bed, but seems to want more than that. He doesn’t want wham bam thank you ma’am. I can understand that. He also said he knows he’s a chore, which I’ve told him a million times he’s not. But if I think I’m not doing wham bam thank you ma’am and he does, we’ve gotten our signals crossed again.

I’m pretty sure he won’t tell me what he wants, except that he wants me to be in charge. I guess I’ll just do what I think I should do and see if that lines up with what he wants. Yeah. That won’t end poorly. I’m going to cross my fingers and go in with a positive attitude. We’re going to have fun. I’m going to get Lion excited, he’ll make it to the edge, and he may or may not have an orgasm. It’ll be my little secret.

[Lion — I think Mrs. Lion was very tired when she read my post from yesterday (Link). I said that a businesslike jerkoff is an expected activity. I also didn’t say I would be unhappy if I got to ejaculate tonight. I think it would be very nice. Perhaps a re-read of the post is in order.]

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In: Orgasm denial, Body Hair Removal

Sunday was hair removal day here. Mrs. Lion waxed me, front and back. Nothing is left between my neck and upper thighs. It’s a good look. I like how my balls feel when completely hairless. The skin is soft and very sensitive. I wonder if she notices. The waxing process takes a lot less time and seems easier for my lioness. It’s true that the hair growing back is thinner (less thick). In most places, less grows back as well. There is one spot above the base of my cock that grows back despite laser and wax treatments. Stubborn.

I always get a short, fun playtime after Mrs. Lion uses oil (light mineral oil) to clean off any wax residue. She oils my cock and balls and then masturbates me. It always feels good. On Sunday, there was something new. She moved her hand down and then let go. Rinse and repeat—just downstrokes. Holy shit!

In the past, she’s used just upstrokes. This technique is exciting but will never produce an orgasm. Nature has programmed us, males, to always ejaculate on the thrust in. That makes sense. We need to ejaculate as close to the cervix as we can get. That gives our sperm the shortest swim to the waiting egg.

That means if his partner is playing with his penis and only moves her hand up from the body, there will be sexual stimulation but no trigger to ejaculate. Mean tops like my lioness know this since this motion is also less arousing because the skin is being pulled up and over the frenulum, which reduces contact and stimulation.

For the record, I’ve had the skin pulled down with one hand while the other (lubed, of course) moves up over the sensitive spot. The result is more arousal but no orgasm regardless of how long she did it. My penis was aware of the direction of stimulation and refused to squirt.

On Sunday, Mrs. Lion did the opposite. She oiled me up and then moved her hand over the head and down to my body. She did it at the same speed she would normally move up and down when she jerked me off. The sensation was amazing. I did not doubt that I would come if she kept it up. She didn’t–the bitch! She smiled and said, “Not now.”