Pressure Release Valves

Some bloggers number their posts. I’m not sure why. If you’re curious, this is post 5,652. That’s of no significance to me, but there you go. Anyway, I’ve noticed that almost every chastity or spanking blog was founded and is written by the person on the bottom. It is exceptionally rare to hear from a keyholder or spanker.

One notable exception, other than us, was Juile of Strict Julie Spanked (It used to be Spanks). Before she decided to switch and become a disciplined wife, she wrote about spanking her husband. Mrs. Lion is contributing, and she is my disciplining wife and keyholder. Though consistent with the trend, I started this blog.

There must be exceptions out there, but almost every couple who spanks does it at the request of the spanked spouse. The same is true for male chastity and orgasm control. The male wishing to be locked up introduces it to his partner. Similarly, the vast majority of BDSM toys are bought by bottoms. The same is true of domestic discipline and female-led marriages. The concept is almost always introduced by the partner who will be disciplined.

We started this blog to give a more balanced picture of these power exchanges. Mrs. Lion regularly tempers my ideas with her reactions. We’ve settled in to a very manageable power exchange. Orgasm control and domestic discipline are now unremarkable, routine parts of our life together. Butt-blistering spankings are administered without so much of a comment by either of us. Punishment is a fact of life for me.

The same is true of orgasm control. Mrs. Lion gives me orgasms when she decides I should have them. There is no argument or discussion. I never masturbate. That’s it. I don’t think either of us believed that this was how things would turn out when we started male chastity in 2014. Somehow, they have. We are both happy with how things are working.

I understand that some of our readers find it hard to believe this. Orgasm control and domestic discipline seem exotic. A lot of men fear the loss of sexual control. Guys who are turned on by the idea of being spanked wouldn’t consider letting their wives punish them. I get it. I felt the same way at first.

The simple fact is that I need spanking. I need it for sexual reasons. It also turns out that I need it as a reminder to do my chores. Let me put that another way. I need to know that Mrs. Lion isn’t building resentment and anger over things I may have done or said that upset her. She set a couple of simple rules that make things easier for her and for us. Not performing these things upset her. No, she isn’t boiling mad if I forget to set up the coffee, but it annoys her at 7 AM when she has to put the coffee pot together.

If she couldn’t punish me for forgetting, she would most likely stuff her feelings and go on with her day. In the past, when she’s done that, at some point, she boils over and gives me the silent treatment. A crack appears in our relationship. If I forget, she smiles and lets me know that I’m in trouble. Later, she will spank me. That helps me remember. It also resolves any feelings that Mrs. Lion might have stuffed.

Other things upset her. She hates to be interrupted and gets upset when I am a know-it-all. We’ve discussed this, and I’m on notice that doing either of those things can earn me a spanking. So far, Mrs. Lion almost never punishes me for this. When she gives me a “just because” spanking, she will sometimes tell me that it is for interrupting or annoying her. Last week, she said she might become more consistent about punishing that kind of behavior. So far, she hasn’t.

Orgasm control is more of a game. It’s fun for both of us to play with my need to get off. There’s a subtle, more serious side to this. Mrs. Lion knows that she and she alone gives me sexual pleasure. I can’t do it myself and certainly can’t let another woman do it. There’s a nice sense of security. Mrs. Lion doesn’t have to worry that she has lost her libido. She knows that I still need her to find ways to get me off. She does a very good job with that.

Domestic discipline isn’t so much a dominant/submissive practice. It’s more of a construct that balances the power in our marriage. I’m as much of a leader as ever. I now have a boss who makes sure that I keep things in good order. Both orgasm control and domestic discipline are pressure-release valves in our marriage. They work well for us.