By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Punishment, Sex

I am now nine days into my eleven day wait. I’ve gone through my typical chastity phases: horny, grumpy, and now very horny. I’m a little surprised that even after all these months my response stays the same. I was thinking about the difference between now, being caged and committed to surrendering sexual control and before we started. Before we began our chastity adventure, we weren’t having much sexual contact. I would regularly go more than a week without masturbating. But somehow it was different.

A big part of the change is that Mrs. Lion gives me a lot of sexual attention. Granted, she doesn’t necessarily give me sexual satisfaction, but she makes sure that I am regularly stimulated to the edge of orgasm. That prevents me from suppressing my sexual interest as I did before. That stimulation assures I can’t forget for a single day how much I want release. It’s regular foreplay without the payoff. I’m pretty sure that is what causes the general need for sex (duh!) and the resulting frustration probably makes me grumpy. I’ve noticed that if I don’t get that sexual stimulation for more than two days, my arousal level falls off and I begin to get “comfortable” with the lack of sex. My guess is that younger males will not lose their edge so fast, if at all. Aging has reduced some hormone levels; a good thing when caged. This could explain why the largest number of caged males are over fifty.

There are other, more significant differences. Mrs. Lion is learning to be more assertive and less worried about “hurting” me. If you read some of her early posts, you can see her concern that I not be too frustrated, or that she not give me much pain. Now, she is far more confident. She is amused by my frustration and gets real pleasure out of edging me and giving me ruined orgasms. That’s a big change. Last night I grumbled about being very horny. Her response was, “Do you want to wait a few more days?”

That’s a big change! I shut up. I did wonder if she would really do it, but I truly didn’t want to take the risk. I really want to come! I have no idea how I would react if she extended my wait. Given her current state of mind, I better not pout or it could get much worse. In the past I didn’t think a threat like that would have much effect on me. But after nine days it definitely got my full attention. Should she actually do it? I will regret writing this, but I think she should. The reason is an old adage in the discipline game: a punishment undemonstrated is not an effective deterrent.

I think the biggest difference now is that she made the threat at a time when I am counting the hours until I can finally come. If she did it a week ago, it wouldn’t have felt very serious at all to me. Now, if she does find a reason to make me wait longer, I will remember how much I hated it and if she makes the threat again, even on the first day of a wait, I will know how it felt at the end when I could have been able to come. I realize that if she does do this now, she will have to keep me caged on our trip; not so much to prevent cheating as to reinforce my helplessness and her power.

There are some males in long-term chastity who at some point stop wearing their devices. They still follow all the rules and wait the times they agreed to. But there is a big difference. They are doing it because they want to. Ok, I want this too. But I also want it when for a while, at least, I don’t want it. The cage prevents me from changing any of the rules. No matter how much I want to come, as long as I am locked in, I can’t. That’s what I love about the experience. Mrs. Lion truly has full control.

And that brings me to the biggest difference of all: Mrs. Lion now embraces that control. In the past, she gave me the experience she thought I wanted. She made me wait long enough to get frustrated, but not too long. She gave me a few swats for breaking a rule, and she teased me because I like it. I’m not saying that’s all changed. It hasn’t. But things are a little different now. She teases me because she likes to see me squirm as I get near orgasm and she likes my reaction when she stops just short of it. She appears more comfortable saying no to me and letting me know she is in charge.

I know she isn’t becoming a different person. I wouldn’t want her to change. But she is learning to take some pleasure from giving me what I want. She is using the power dynamic the way I had hoped she would. Best of all, she deals with my objections and growls with amusement, indifference, and the threat of more wait time if I get out of line. Most significantly, I think she understands the concept of “something I love to hate”. That’s really tough because at the time she does those things I really hate them. I want her to stop or not make me do something I don’t like with all my heart.

But now she knows that her lion is a little more complex than that. She’s learned that by doing those things I hate, she is giving me a wonderful gift. She is allowing me to experience the control I want so badly, and by doing this, she is really turning me on. Every shock, spanking, ruined orgasm, or extra day of waiting feeds a deep need that brings me both heat and satisfaction. Thank you, Mrs Lion.

By:
In: Keyholder, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

When I read Lion’s post today my first thought was, “Great. Now I have to come up with punishments so he’ll accept rewards.” And I hate coming up with punishments. So I figured we were at an impasse. He said he felt like he was topping from the bottom if he got a reward for doing things he should be doing anyway. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that by not accepting the rewards he’s topping from the bottom, too. If I tell him that by cleaning out the garage he can have one day knocked off his sentence and he cleans the garage (which technically he should have done without a reward) but then says he doesn’t want a day off, we’re doing things his way. It may not take a lot of physical effort to come up with rewards and punishments, but since I’m fighting my own nature it is difficult. Why expend the energy if nothing comes of it?

Growing up, I always wondered why less emphasis was placed on the good things people do than on the bad things. Why is it more important to punish than to reward? Don’t I want to encourage good behavior even if it is something he should be doing? Don’t we give kids allowances for doing chores? At work, we’re constantly told we didn’t get certain things done, but when we hold up the body of work that we actually accomplished, they tell us that’s our job. Why didn’t I get this one thing done? Because I was busy doing all these things here. No good. You should have done it all. Why not give some praise for what was done and then perhaps ask how long the other part will take?

Why can’t I give Lion tasks to do and reward him when they are done? Why do I have to punish him for not doing things or for doing the wrong things? I’m not saying I’ll never punish him. I’m just saying it’s not a comfortable way for me to operate. I was actually proud of myself for thinking of a way for him to earn rewards. I don’t have a great track record in the reward/punishment department. If he doesn’t want the reward then it was a waste of my time. Besides, if I’m the one in charge then why does he get to choose if he wants the reward or not?

Right now I’m throwing in the towel for this wait time. Any time off he may have earned has now been eaten up by the punishment I would have given him for topping from the bottom. Net effect: zero. We’ll try again next time.

By:
In: Keyholder, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

Last night I think I surprised Lion by noticing that he ate before I did and he dropped some food. Normally he admits it before I realize he did it. He earned himself four swats. Since I “award” different amounts of swats each time, he’s never sure how many swats are coming or how hard they will be. I guess those four swats were especially hard because he squirmed a lot. Squirming sometimes earns him more swats, but I was just proud of myself for catching him last night so I didn’t add any.

As promised, I gave him his anniversary orgasm last night. Since it was a special occasion I don’t know if it negates his regularly scheduled orgasm for tonight. We’ll have to play that by ear. I did leave him wild for the night. He was happy to be wild.

This morning, while he was in the bathroom, I put the cock ring and the shock collar on the bed. We haven’t used the shock collar in over a month. I packed it away for one of our trips and never brought it out. He’s been talking about it lately so I decided he should wear it. Now he is safely locked in his cage and ready for a shock.

Actually he’s not ready for a shock. He never seems ready for it. So far, every time I have shocked him, even if he sees me push the button, he jumps. Sometimes he even lets out a little , “Hey!” This is why I laugh at him. Maybe if I use it enough on him I will get over the amusement value of it and be able to use it for correction.

Correction is difficult for me. I know he wants me to do it, but it’s not really in my nature to want to change his behavior. Even for things that really annoy me, like when he interrupts me. I’m not ready to set a goal for it yet, as I did for anal training. It’s just something I need to work on.

By:
In: Advice to caged males, Femdom, Lion's Journal, Male Control (training), Punishment, Sex
squeeze technique
The squeeze technique, originally described by Masters and Johnson is an effective way to stop an orgasm. Used in conjunction with tease and deny, it can help the male have more conscious control over when he orgasms.

Most of us (males) at one time or another have wished we could “hold off” to let our partner have her orgasm.  We’ve tried to think about math problems, sports scores, the weather, anything but sex. Usually we have been unsuccessful in our efforts. Until very recently I never thought I could really control when I come, much less prevent myself from coming altogether. However, as a caged male, it might be useful to know how to do this.

As wait times between orgasm grow, our keyholders may well grow impatient at the loss of the use of their toys: our cocks. Also, since tease and deny is an important part of the forced male chastity regimen, it would be more convenient if we lose our hair triggers so that accidents would be less likely to happen. All this makes sense to me, but I’m still not a fan. However, like other caged males, I don’t get a vote.

So what is this all about? Apparently, it is possible to exercise zen-like control over the orgasm reflex. Other caged males have done it. Tantric yoga also features male orgasm control exercises. It must be possible. The question is how to do it? In a prior post I mentioned using punishment for “accidents” to provide this training. Mrs. Lion said she will not beat that into me. I expect that aside from being distasteful to her, it isn’t very helpful for me either. We need a different strategy.

First, let’s consider the situations where I will need to exercise this control. There are two: when Mrs. Lion wants to ride me but does not want me to orgasm, and when she is teasing me to the edge and wants me to assure that I won’t have an accidental ruined orgasm. My initial thinking was to consider a lion “accident” the same way you consider a puppy’s accident on the rug. By punishing the puppy, she learns to hold her bladder and go outside. Well, that doesn’t really work well for the puppy. For me, all it would do would be to make me even more unhappy I failed.

We know that some tantric practitioners can voluntarily prevent orgasm no matter what the stimulus. That means theoretically I can do it too. But how? When I feel an orgasm coming on it is overpowering. I breathe hard and make some sounds that Mrs. Lion likes. She can read the signs and stops just short of the point of no return when she teases me. I don’t feel that I have any control to delay it at that point. But what about when I feel it building up. I have at least five seconds between that indescribable tingle and the point of no return. Is there something that I can do to distract me and prevent the accident?

I am very sure being trained to only orgasm when given permission isn’t important to Mrs. Lion. It probably sounds like one more “chore” in her lion training. In fact, for many males this may not even be something your keyholder cares about. In some cases, a keyholder will want frequent intercourse and needs to feel her male’s penis inside her. This is complicated if he has an orgasm date that is still in the future. In cases like this it would be helpful if he could hold off until his times. In vanilla relationship it is always nice if the male can wait until his partner orgasms. However, would that vanilla partner be willing to help her male hold off long enough to satisfy her?

Let’s assume that it makes sense to learn to hold off. Masters and Johnson developed a technique that can effectively help a male stop an orgasm. It was developed to help train males not to ejaculate prematurely. In our context, it is an easy, effective way to help the male gain some control. During a tease and deny session, it’s an interesting variation that will serve to frustrate and educate at that same time. This is something I would like to experience if only to find out how it feels. The image above explains this simple concept.

Another easy technique is to use a method to desensitize the penis so that much more stimulation is needed to get off. This is easily done with desensitizing creams (usually Lidocaine 4 or 5 percent). A small amount applied on the underside of the penis, just below the head can work wonders. Apply and wait 15 minutes before sex. Voila! It may take some experimentation to get the right amount. Too much and he won’t be able to get or stay hard; too little and, well you know.

Another fairly simple technique is to simply wear out the male’s orgasm reaction. I mentioned this earlier in the post. It’s fun and very effective. It will take some experimentation to work it out, but once you do, your male won’t be able to orgasm at all and you can have all the fun you want.

From my perspective, the most important benefit of learning orgasm control is that it is yet another way the keyholder has taken control of her male; caged or uncaged. I have had a sort of academic interest in this. If Mrs. Lion wants to try, of course I will do my best to learn. If she doesn’t, it’s fine with me. There may be an occasional accident for which I do expect some discipline. But she needn’t expend any energy training me this way for my benefit. This is one thing she should try only if it pleases her.