hidden key
I’ve hidden Lion’s key. I hope I can remember where I hid it (so does he)

Last night I took my favorite toy out of its cage and played with it. I was thinking I’d only stretch it a little. I wasn’t going to edge Lion. But he moaned and I figured I’d give him a little more attention. Just a little. So I edged him and when I was done I handed him the cock ring and told him to replace it when he was soft.

I know Lion doesn’t want to know where the key is. I don’t know if this is from a temptation standpoint or a power thing. Whatever it is, this morning I hid the key in a different place. Now it’s a crap shoot whether I can remember where I hid it. And will I remember to bring it for our weekend away?

No matter how comfortable he says he his in cage, I think he thinks about sex more often now than he did when he was wild. I think it makes him a little crazy not to be able to touch himself.  He won’t admit it, but I think he’s really missing his favorite toy so he may throw a temper tantrum or two. I guess it’s just another training opportunity.

I’m not sure how long I plan to deny Lion. It would be silly of me to post a date on here where he could see it even if I had one in mind. Sometimes he can sway me by moaning, whimpering, and otherwise being pathetic. Sometimes I just laugh at him.

We’re still playing it by ear.

no sex for lions
Being forced to wait is sexy in its own way. Forced male chastity is full of contradictions. Humans (and lions) are very strange critters.

The earliest reading I did about forced male chastity featured docile obedient males instantly tamed by virtue of a device being locked on their genitals. If these guys were submissive to start, maybe I could buy the instant docility. Even now after months of being caged, I don’t find myself inclined to be docile. Reading forums devoted to male chastity and heavily screened to keep fiction out, I find very little along these lines either. In fact, the idea of male control (obedience, etc.) doesn’t frequently appear in the same context as forced chastity. I think it is easy to make the assumption that if a male allows his keyholder to take absolute control over his ability to enjoy orgasm or erection, then it follows that he will do anything to induce her to let him get off. In practice, for me at least, that isn’t the case.

This may be due to the fact that Mrs. Lion doesn’t make me wait very long between orgasms. She never uses the threat of extending my orgasm-free lockup for failing to obey her. It’s true that I have very little to do in terms of obedience. If I avoid dropping food (not easy for me), don’t get grumpy with waitstaff and clerks, and wait for permission to eat, I am obeying my keyholder. Failure to do either results in a shock  if I have my leash on, or a small paddling later if I don’t. Neither has anything to do with my caging. I’ve always helped around the house, inside and out, and I cook frequently. So domestic duties don’t seem to be an area that needs exploring.

In my reading, I see that most of the writing by caged males is about living with the hardware. Some talk about length of being locked up. Is this the new “mine is longer than yours” discussion for caged males? Both caged males and keyholders write about tease and denial, ruined orgasms, masturbating and orally pleasing keyholders, and accidental male orgasms. Very little is written about obedience, punishment, or chores.

My conclusion is that ironically, forced male chastity is about sex; odd for something that prevents sex from happening. In most cases it is also about other things. For many it includes top and bottom play where the keyholder does classic BDSM topping of her caged male. This includes bondage, spanking, anal play, as well as many of the other forms of top/bottom play. As far as I can tell, it is independent of the forced chastity. You could argue that forced male chastity is a form of bondage. Strictly speaking that’s correct. Mrs. Lion and I have done top and bottom play for many years. The frequency of this play dropped off to almost nothing in the last six or seven years. So did most sexual activity, particularly for Mrs. Lion.

When I asked her to be my keyholder and she agreed, changes started happening. One of the first things I did after being locked up was to begin this blog. Mrs. Lion read it. More recently, she has become a regular contributor. It’s fair to say that the blog and my forced chastity began at about the same time. This combination has over the last few months, improved our communication, Mrs. Lion’s libido, my efforts to give her orgasm, and our interest in top/bottom play. It could be this blog; the fact that we are communicating through our writing. I am sure this is a valuable part of it. But I think that my cage is a bigger part. Both of us know that I am sexually dependent on Mrs. Lion. We both understand that she has to do something before I can even get an erection.

This knowledge motivates me to give her reasons to think about my sexual needs. These needs could range from wanting an orgasm to wanting to be forced to wait longer. Because her pleasure is also increasing, she has reason to consider resuming our top/bottom fun. I find it very hot to know that I have no control over my next boner or when I will be able to actually ejaculate. Wearing my electronic leash and knowing that even at a distance, Mrs. Lion can give me a forceful message under my balls. I also like the idea (as yet untested) that I will have to wait longer for an orgasm and perhaps will be made to wait even longer if naughty. As you might have guessed, a good part of the excitement of being a bottom for me is that I will be disciplined. I wrote about this in the past.

I can’t honestly say that we couldn’t do all the things that turn me on without my being caged. But I am sure that the fact I am locked up keeps our attention more focused on sexual fun. I know that for me it is impossible to forget that no matter what my mood, I can’t even get hard without Mrs. Lion letting me. That’s seriously sexy!

finger pointing and the word no
Lion says he wants more rules and punishments. I’ve just found a new rule that will improve our dining pleasure.

Lion keeps saying maybe he should be careful what he asks for. He wants more rules and more punishment. Whether he intends to or not, he gives me ideas all the time. He is not topping from the bottom. He’s just having a conversation.

It bothers me when Lion interrupts me. He does get swatted and zapped for that. But I’ve found something else that bothers me. My usually polite pet can be quite rude at times. For example, he’s very particular about what he wants on his hamburger. When he first orders he speaks slowly so the person can write it down or select it on the screen. If the person doesn’t get it on the first try, he speaks like he would speak to a child. Very slowly. Very deliberately. After multiple tries he gets frustrated and adds “moron” to the end of the request. I don’t think Lion ever worked in fast food, or any food service job. It’s a minimum wage job. Sometimes not even minimum wage if you are dependent on tips. For many of the fast food workers, at least around here, English is not their first language. They are only trying to get his order correct. And, I’ve worked in fast food and read books, you don’t piss off the person who is making your food. Who knows what they’ll do to it. (We used to nuke flies in the microwave when I worked at Burger King in high school. Just for the hell of it. Not in retaliation. But it gives you an idea of what goes on in the kitchen.)

He is also rude to customer service and retail people. He starts out fine and then gets frustrated. Again, I don’t think he ever worked in that capacity. Having worked in retail for a number of years, I can tell you that we try to be helpful, but the second you become condescending we see that you’re a moron and we give moron right back to you.

At any rate, his being rude to people in the service industries drives me crazy. Especially the food. I’m ordering at the same time, man. I don’t want hair in my food! So from now on Lion will be zapped or swatted when this occurs. Fair warning, my pet.

turned off switch
Sexual control often extends past preventing erection and orgasm.

(Tuesday, May 27 2014) One of the reasons I wanted to be caged was my desire to feel Mrs. Lion’s sexual control. We have been learning exactly what this means. The obvious meaning is, of course, controlling if and when I get to orgasm. Does this mean that there are only two ways to experience this control: making me wait longer and longer to come, or making me come more frequently than I want? If that’s the case, my opportunities to orgasm will be further and further apart. Is that the only way to do this?

I, for one, would rather not be made to wait months for an orgasm in order for Mrs. Lion to demonstrate her control. Given, our rediscovered sex life I would hate for that to happen. I do agree with her recent post that demonstrating control by increasing my waiting time is a good idea. I just don’t want this wait to get longer and longer. Of course, that isn’t my call and I am prepared to wait as long as she makes me. Is there any other way to demonstrate this control?

It seems to me that sexual control also extends to rules that I am required to obey and the discipline I must experience if I disobey. In my mind, being disciplined is the strongest expression of control. This probably goes back to my childhood where there was virtually no discipline. I think I associate discipline, which requires noting my behavior and reacting to it, as an expression of love. This isn’t universal. Many caged males see sexual deprivation the same way I see discipline.

It may make no sense on the surface. How is spanking or giving me a correction with the shock collar sexual control? To me, knowing that Mrs. Lion will do these unpleasant things to me is a big turn on. I get aroused thinking about her corrections and spankings. However, the actual correction or spanking does not arouse me. I hate it when it happens. Later, after the pain subsides, my memory of the discipline is arousing. I get a similar set of feelings from tease and deny as well. But the biggest turn on for me is the discipline.

Forced male chastity is an obvious and very strong expression of loss of control. I realize I have lost the ability to get hard and to make myself come. I like that a lot. However, I don’t feel a constant yearning to get hard and get off; at least up to now. That could change if I am teased and forced to wait longer. I don’t know. If I think about being forced to wait a few more days for being naughty, or more powerfully, being spanked or shocked, always starts a “chubby” in my cage.

Does that mean I could feel Mrs. Lion’s control without the cage? I am sure it does. But the chastity device I wear serves a purpose that goes beyond control. It provides an unmistakable reminder to Mrs. Lion that I am completely dependent on her for any sexual activity; that my penis is only available to me for urination. None of the fun stuff is under my control. I like that feeling. One of the most dramatic and frightening-to-some-men aspects of forced male chastity is the absolute loss of independent sexual activity. I not only can’t masturbate; I can’t even get hard. That does reach deep into the male psyche.

One reason that forced male chastity isn’t more popular is the absolutely real loss of sexual control. Unlike “play” where the man is disciplined during play sessions but is free to function independently the rest of the time, caged males have a permanent loss of sexual control as long as his keyholder keeps him locked in. I haven’t seen a case when just lockup and sexual deprivation is enough. Virtually all caged males need additional control and discipline as well. This makes the keyholder’s job more complex than just locking up her male and giving him an occasional orgasm. It also explains why only a small number of women are willing to pursue this long term.

One of the key ways we caged males can help our keyholders succeed and feel satisfaction with their skill at male control is to clearly communicate what works for us. I honestly didn’t know what to tell Mrs. Lion when we started. I am very grateful she loves me enough to experiment. I am learning what works for me and she is learning what works for her. We are communicating better than we ever have. We are both growing. Most importantly, we are both actively working to please each other. I am trying my best to reawaken her libido and please her more and more. She is working hard to make me feel her sexual control. I can’t ask for more than that.