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In: Chastity hardware, Cooking, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

I’m sure you’re tired of hearing about Lion’s culinary skills by now. You’re not here to learn about cooking. But it’s part of who he is so we’ve included some posts about it. I think the best part of his new toy is that it gives him something to sink his teeth into – both literally and figuratively. It gets his mind off of not working. However, while he’s distracted by cooking, he is less interested in sex.

Last night was play night. He wasn’t much in the mood. His mind was elsewhere. We had just eaten some very yummy ribs and he was awaiting the time to start his brisket. Mr. Weenie just would not cooperate when I tried to get him hard. Oh well. I’d rather have him be less than interested in sex because he’s lusting after a giant piece of meat (beef that is) than because he’s depressed about being out of work. At least he’s happy with the food. And, worst case, I can slather myself with barbecue sauce to turn him on.

Lion has been wild since last night. He had a sore spot and I thought it was the perfect time to clean the cage in jewelry cleaner. The security screw we use instead of a lock,  has been getting stuck on the way out the past couple times. I knew there was gunk in the threads so I tossed it in the solution. A little soak and some scrubbing and it looks good as new. Lion does clean the cage from time to time, but for some reason the threads are just stubborn. I don’t really know why it would get stuck on the way out. It wasn’t a torquing issue. I tried wiggling it. I had to put it back in a little way before it would come all the way out. We’ll see if the cleaning helped. Lion says the sore spot is all better so later today he will be locked up again.

A few weeks ago I punished Lion for spilling water all over the kitchen counter. I thought it happened when he filled the coffee maker. He’s been doing much better since then. However, Friday there was another flood. The problem is that after he filled the coffee maker, the counter was dry. Then, hours later, there was water all over the counter again. He protested that he shouldn’t be punished. I had seen the dry counter. It wasn’t his fault. Gremlins were out to get him. (Okay, I added the gremlins part, but he was clearly trying to get out of a punishment.) And I have to agree. I did see the dry counter. And even after we cleaned it up, a little while later there was more water. We’ll have to investigate further. He won’t be punished for the mess. And then yesterday, while eating lunch, he dropped food on the table. Oops! He will be punished for that. When I mentioned his coupon good for eliminating one punishment from his list he said he might use it. I told him I’d just have to find something else to punish him for. Poor boy. Sometimes he just can’t win.

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

Yesterday when the alarm went off I automatically went to the kitchen to make breakfast. I’m used to doing it in a sleep-deprived haze so it wasn’t until I brought the tray into the bedroom that I realized it was Sunday. Lion’s day to make breakfast. Oops. I guess it really was backwards day.

As I was doing things around the house I was debating whether I should do the laundry. Ultimately I decided that laundry is one of Lion’s chores so I didn’t do it. When he gets a job we will re-evaluate it, but for now I’m more than happy to have him do it. I haven’t given him many chores so far. He’s been very good at finding things that need to be done so there has been little need to actually assign things. But that leaves me with less to punish him for. However, I’m going to start punishing him for things that are not done correctly.

Last week I came home to a mess in the bathroom. There was a white film all over the counter. Lion cleaned it with Comet and it left a residue. Comet always seems to do that. It requires a lot of rinsing to get rid of the gritty film. He did clean it up once I mentioned it, but it got me thinking. If a chore is not completed satisfactorily, whether or not it was a chore I assigned him, he should receive a punishment. If I ask him to take the garbage out and it drips all the way to the door and he doesn’t clean that trail up, he should be punished. If he takes the garbage out on his own and forgets to put a new bag in the can then he should be punished.

On the flipside, I hope Lion agrees that I have been praising him more often. I’ve been trying to notice things. It still seems weird to me to tell him he’s a good boy. When I tell the dog she’s a good girl now it makes me realize how ridiculous it sounds to me to say the same thing to Lion. I know he likes it. The dog couldn’t care less. So why is it weird? I guess it seems demeaning to me. I’m not even sure I told my kids they were good boys and girl. Not even when they were toddlers. I did tell them they did a good job at whatever task they were doing. But good boy is more something I would say to an animal. I know. It’s me. He likes it so who cares if it makes me uncomfortable. Point taken. I’ll keep doing it. So Lion will be punished for a job not well done, and praised for a job well done. No matter how ridiculous both of those ideas sound to me. I’m still fighting with (against) myself about domestic discipline. It will take time. Just go with it. You can do it. It’s dumb. Shut up. (Thank you, voices.)

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In: Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

As I was tying Lion to the bed last night he told me his camera was on his dresser in case I wanted to take a picture of his red buns. I hadn’t thought about it. I rarely think about taking pictures of the things we do. So I took that to mean that he wanted a picture.  No problem. (Click here to see it.)

I knew he had been dreading punishment all day. In his email early in the day he made it sound like I would leave him bruised and bloodied. As if this was the punishment to end all punishments. I’m not sure why. He had one infraction on the list. It wasn’t even a particularly terrible one. He’d made me feel bad. And? Nope. That was it. So why would this punishment be worse than any other? I’m wondering if part of the punishment is the time leading up to the actual swats. You know, you crashed Dad’s car and you know you’re in for it, but once your imagination takes hold you’re sure Dad’s going to kick you out of the house and disown you. In reality the repair costs $500 which you pay him back a little at a time from your cashier job.

Once I finished with Lion’s very hard swats I took a picture. He wasn’t particularly red. He said if I did more swats but maybe not as hard it would show up better in the picture. Am I punishing him so he remembers what he did and, hopefully, doesn’t do it again? Or am I punishing him for the camera? His red butt does remind me that he’s probably still feeling it, but between feeling it and seeing it, I’d rather have him feel it longer. I don’t know if a few harder swats make him feel it longer or not. I’m still experimenting. I know they hurt like hell at the time, based on his yelling and squirming.

Lion wonders if I should be punishing as he makes mistakes. Maybe what I should do is ask him what’s on his list more often. Even on non-punishment nights. That might convince him that I’m paying attention. Whomping him on specific days gives me time to consider the “crime”. I was really mad when he did X, but after talking to him about it I understand why he did it and I’m not so mad right now. Y didn’t bother me very much at the time, but after thinking about it, it’s really starting to piss me off. I don’t care why he did Z, he should never do that again. For now, we’ll stick to Mondays and Thursdays as punishment days.

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

I started out this morning thinking that in order to make things go more smoothly, I just need to get out of my own way. I spend too much time worrying that I’m not doing things right. From time to time I think I should just adopt a baseball pitcher’s mentality. Don’t think, just throw. Put the ball where the catcher wants it. Sure you need to worry about that guy on first, but the primary obligation is to get that pitch into that exact spot. Can the batter hit it? Maybe. But you can’t think about that.

What does that have to do with anything? Well, I make a rule. Lion balks at it. I feel bad so I back off. Lion decides maybe it is a good rule. I reinstate it. I should just eliminate the intermediate steps and continue on. So what if Lion balks at it? He doesn’t have to like it. Maybe it is a bad rule. If so, that will become evident shortly. I should not allow Lion to make me feel bad. Unfortunately I’m not wired that way. The best I can do is try not to let him make me feel bad and if he does then I need to let him know, in the form of a punishment, that it’s not okay.

The problem, of course, is that being in charge is not natural for me. I do it for Lion. While he doesn’t spend every waking hour thinking about sex, chastity, or domestic discipline, he certainly spends more time than I do. I spend a minimal amount of time trying to figure out what I need to do to keep him happy and then it fades into the background again. Even when we snuggle I know his mind goes right to sex and chastity. Last night he immediately reminded me it’s been nine days since his last orgasm. Okay. I was thinking how nice it was to be close. It wasn’t a play night so I wasn’t really thinking about an orgasm at all.

Lion says I’m getting good at punishing him. His buns are still sore the day after a punishment. That’s just the administration of the punishment. I can hit hard. I could always hit hard. I can probably hit him harder than he ever wants to be hit. I was just afraid to do it. The difficult part is keeping track of things and wanting to add things to the list. Even when he annoys me I still don’t think about punishing him for it. It isn’t second nature. I’m not sure it ever will be. But I’m not giving up yet.