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In: Lion's Journal, Punishment

Sometimes I fall back into believing that in order to “work,” enforced chastity and FLR have to be new and exciting. If everything feels routine, I can start believing that we are backsliding. After all, the thinking goes, if I am not nursing a sore bottom, domestic discipline isn’t going on. After all, it was my passion (and arousal) that got us into all this in the beginning. So, my reasoning goes, if I don’t feel that thrill something is wrong.

I think an objective observer might disagree. Am I obeying Mrs. Lion? Have I been following all my rules? Have I been under Mrs. Lion’s sexual control. The answer to all these questions is “yes.” So, things are going very well indeed. Why then would I feel something is missing? Do I have to get aroused when I think about being disciplined in order to prove we are practicing domestic discipline? Of course not!

If I feel that something is missing, should I deliberately disobey Mrs. Lion? Should I provoke discipline? Do I need to complain about being horny? The real question for me, at least, is: Do I need to actively feel Mrs. Lion’s power for me to believe I am under her control? By that token, the better trained I become, the more unhappy I will be because I won’t be directly experiencing her power.

So, if I am not to intentionally misbehave, the only other way to make me experience Mrs. Lion’s power is for her to increase her control in such a way I will be disciplined and be forced to wait longer and longer for an orgasm. Is escalation a necessary part of a functioning enforced chastity/FLR relationship? I’ve been wondering that for some time.

I am very sure that, at least for now, I need to feel her authority. Mrs. Lion handles my need to feel her sexual control by edging me almost every day. Feeling that orgasm almost arriving only to have her stop and frustrate me, sends a very clear message to me. No matter how often I actually get to come, each edging session underlines who is in charge.

Discipline is a more difficult subject. I don’t think we have a solution there. Until very recently, Mrs. Lion has been taking it easy when I earned a spanking for breaking one of my rules. True, the rules I broke weren’t very earth shaking. I might have gotten food on my shirt or ate before her. Her response was appropriate for such minor offenses.

She wasn’t being gentle. Oh no, those spankings hurt. But we both knew that they were far from as severe as Mrs. Lion had been in the past. I got her point anyway. But there was a subtle problem with those less severe spankings. At some level I took the rules I broke less seriously. That’s not terrible. What I didn’t realize until very recently was that I was also feeling less controlled as well. Then, last week I needed discipline. Without warning, I was spanked more severely. It served as a wake-up call. I hated every second of it. But after the sting started to subside, I realized that I felt more settled. I was happier. What this means for my future, I have yet to discover.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Masturbation, Punishment

I’ve been thinking about our flavor of domestic discipline. This practice, usually adopted by certain Christian sects, establishes male authority in the family by encouraging corporeal punishment of the wife by her husband. Behind the punishment is the premise that the wife must be blindly obedient to her husband. In practice, at least from what I’ve read, punishment is rare.

In our fledgling female led relationship, domestic discipline is a training tool for both of us. Most importantly, it requires Mrs. Lion to observe and respond to any slips in my behavior. This is a huge change for her. It also provides me with unpleasant consequences for disobedience. We need domestic discipline. At this point, without it we would lapse back into a sort of marital anarchy that generated anger and resentment. It’s hard work and we are far from consistent. Mrs. Lion is trying to improve that, but we haven;t found a way to achieve it. Maybe you have discovered the key to this.

I’ve been thinking that perhaps we should take a few minutes at dinner to review the day in terms of my behavior. I would confess even the smallest breech and Mrs. Lion would review what she observed. After dinner, Mrs. Lion can administer any needed corrections. I like this idea because it is also a chance to also tell each other what we liked about our day with each other. I am not suggesting that if there are a lot of good things, they cancel the misbehavior. I am convinced that for me to be truly happy with this, all infractions need retribution. I thrive in a consistent environment. In case you wondered, I do not like being spanked for punishment. I am not trying to provoke more swats.

On another front, Mrs. Lion told me that she felt mean when she got me hard without edging. That’s ironic. She reminisced that she used to think edging was mean. In one sense, any sexual stimulation without orgasm can be considered mean. Girls are taught not to tease boys that way. They learn to finish what the start or not start at all.

Mrs. Lion sees the distress when she edges me. She has learned to like my whimpers when the orgasm doesn’t come. Then why feel it is mean to just get me hard and keep me that way for a while? I think the answer is the same as it was for edging. Mrs. Lion knows that I expect to be edged if she starts playing with my penis. So, the reasoning goes, I will be disappointed if I don’t get edged. Well, a couple of years ago when she played with my penis I expected to ejaculate eventually. I’ve learned that isn’t going to happen very often and expect to be edged.

I don’t see why I won’t also learn that being played with just to make me hard is an expected outcome of lioness attention. Mrs. Lion crossed the classic boundary of being “mean” years ago. The idea of making me hard just cause she can is no meaner than edging me. It’s just another expression of her control.

We both have a lot to learn.

 

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Punishment

The classic way to trap a wild lion is to provide irresistible bait, like a nice selection of meat, and then when he starts to munch, drop a net over him. In my life, as well as many other guys, there is at least one lion trap that catches those of us who want to follow a female led relationship. The best example of this is spanking.

When I think about being spanked, my mind drifts to sexy scenes where my pants are pulled down exposing my hard penis. I am put into position and receive a paddling, my hard cock pressing into the spanker’s lap. Fantasies about this sort of thing usually fall into a couple of broad categories. One is the classic mother-in-law story. This one usually starts with the guy meeting his fiance’s mother. At some point he is rude or disrespectful. The mother-in-law-to-be then administers a severe spanking to him in front of her daughter. When it ends, either the mother or daughter informs him that spankings like that are his future.

It’s a hot story. It has all the classic elements: humiliation, pain, and the promise of a lifetime filled with more of the same. There are variations on this theme, but the elements of humiliation and pain are always present. Few, if any, female led relationships are initiated by the wife. Males tend to start this ball rolling. The same is true of enforced chastity. I won’t go into a long discourse on why this happens; I’ve written about that before. One very good reason this happens is that FLR and enforced chastity are consensual activities. When I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up and become my disciplining wife, I gave he explicit permission to take control and discipline me as she sees fit.

I not only asked her, I helped her learn how to do it. Unlike the fantasies, she wasn’t prepared to just take charge and whomp away with her paddles. She needed to learn what to do and understand the value of doing it. Very few women when asked to be disciplinary wives just smile and instantly adopt domestic discipline. It takes a lot of time and work to accept the role. Just accepting the fact that she is expected to punish her husband is a very large step for many.

After a year and a half of FLR with domestic discipline, we are just beginners. We’re both good at enforced chastity. Both of us are comfortable with Mrs. Lion having sexual control. But domestic discipline isn’t natural yet. We’re both too ready to just “skip” spankings when I break a rule. Mrs. Lion is concerned that I am not “in the mood” to be spanked. She’s right, sometimes I just don’t want it at all. But that’s not what domestic discipline is about. It’s not what I want her to do to me. It’s what I must learn to do if I don’t want a hot, stinging bottom. We still don’t accept that my interest in being punished is completely beside the point. The paddle doesn’t care. Mrs. Lion still has to learn she shouldn’t either.

I was led into this arrangement by romanticized thoughts of domestic discipline. Mrs. Lion accepted it to “make me happy.” We continue it even after the fantasies are long forgotten because, like enforced chastity, this lifestyle makes our marriage better. Sooner or later we will learn that punishment is not interested in my mood. If I don’t want to be punished, I have to obey Mrs. Lion. Her role is more difficult. No matter how much I don’t want that earned punishment, she has to go ahead and provide the education I earned.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Orgasm, Punishment

Lion is on his way to the east coast. I dropped him off at the airport at a too-early-for-me 6 am. I miss him already.

Although I said I’d punish him last night for his indiscretions, I didn’t. I know he needs consistency. I know I owed him swats for two things. But since we needed to get to sleep early, we played early and I told him I’d swat him afterwards. For some reason it just didn’t seem right to swat him right before bed. I don’t know why. So now I’ll have to wait a week.

I gave Lion his orgasm last night. Right before we started, he was looking to see what was on TV. One listing said “Best Blower Ever”. Lion said that was wrong. He said I’m the best blower ever. How did he know he was getting a blow job? He probably didn’t know, but it’s one of his favorite ways to get an orgasm and what better way to send him off on a business trip? I love doing it and I’m usually rewarded with a mouthful of cum.

When I presented Lion with his list of assignments, he was less than thrilled. I thought they were all doable, but he went down the list and rejected almost half of them. He better figure it out because he needs to earn twenty points in order to avoid punishment. There were two things worth ten points each that he said he can’t do. Too bad. They were an easy way to be done quickly. Unless I award partial credit, it may be difficult for him to reach twenty points. Poor Lion butt.

His next scheduled “maybe” date is the 20th. He was surprised it’s only a week away. It was supposed to be Monday on our wedding anniversary but that didn’t work out so well so I had to change it. He gets home late Friday so Saturday is the next reasonable day. He’ll definitely get his leftover swats then. Will he have new swats for not completing his assignments? We’ll have to see.