Domestic discipline (Page 33)

One of the most problematic aspects of domestic discipline is that it is initiated and often managed by the person receiving the punishments. It makes complete sense that the initiating spouse is the recipient. After all, this is consensual. The strongest form of consent is initiation. No possibility of coercion exists. Almost all DD contracts are written by or under the supervision of the disciplined spouse.

I’m sure you can see the problem with this. It’s one thing to express a need to be disciplined. It’s another to decide when you should be punished. Most of the people who want to be disciplined have a substantial history of spanking fantasies. That’s fine since it makes it easier to get cooperation when a spanking is due. But it gets in the way of a real disciplinary relationship.

We’ve been working through this for years. We are lucky. We had a good start. I asked Mrs. Lion to be my disciplinary wife, and she agreed. I suggested that we needed rules that I had to follow. She did a very smart thing. She agreed but didn’t let me suggest rules for me to follow. She created a few that I was sure to break frequently. Her thinking was that both needed practice. It worked and is still working. I don’t break those early rules very often, but when I do, I get spanked.

The other difficult problem we faced was the actual spanking itself. I wanted it to be meaningful. That is, I wanted to feel it for days. At least that was my fantasy. It took a lot of practice for Mrs. Lion to get to the point that it hurt to sit for a couple of days. I learned that I hated spankings that produced those results. Mrs. Lion was learning how to spank me without feeling remorse. It became a skill she was perfecting. How much I liked or disliked what she did was of no consequence. She wanted me to report if it hurt after she finished and each day thereafter. That was so she could determine how she did.

We learned that spanking time seems much longer than it really is. The only way to be sure my spanking goes full measure is to set a timer. We got this idea from the now-defunct Disciplinary Wives Club. We follow their suggestion that a spanking is timed at ten minutes. If more than one offense is being punished, five minutes are added for each additional offense. Timing spankings made a huge difference. Ten minutes feels like forever when my bottom is being beaten. When the timer finishes, Mrs. Lion doesn’t. The ten-minute time is the minimum. Mrs. Lion will often go on for several more minutes after the timer sounds.

Mrs. Lion is in full control when it comes to punishing me. She doesn’t accept input from me when it comes to the actual spanking. I can yelp and complain all I want. It doesn’t make her take it easier on me. The timer guarantees that I always get full measure. Since we instituted “just because” spankings, Mrs. Lion is beginning to use them to punish me for annoying her. That was the idea. Over time she will learn to punish me for annoying her without using the “just because” spankings for that purpose.

The goal is for her to be in complete control. I’m not talking about control in the sense of a BDSM mistress. I’m talking about her punishing me for disobedience, disrespect, or annoying behavior. In my mind, the idea is that she doesn’t need rules to justify punishing me. She can do it when she feels I need it.

True to her word, Mrs. Lion waxed me today. Between her skill and the fact that less and less hair grows back, waxing has become a quicker, less annoying job for her. She waxed my back side first and then had me turn over. After she got my cock, balls, thighs, chest, and pits hair free, she used oil to remove residual wax and to play with my weenie. It felt very good. I was instantly hard and enjoyed her jerking me off. I didn’t get to the edge but had a good time. Now I am hairless and horny, just the way Mrs. Lion likes me.

It’s disappointing that another summer is winding down without us vacationing. I suppose it can’t be helped. Between COVID, our dogs, and my health, we couldn’t get it together to go away. We are lucky we like to be home together. We’re one of those couples who can be together 24/7 with no problem.

Mrs. Lion has been considering being able to spank me for disrespect or annoying her. She wrote that she couldn’t be consistent because she has to decide if I am at fault or she is having a bad day. Other disciplinary wives say the same thing. I don’t expect robotic consistency. I’m fully aware that there is a threshold I have to cross before a snarl turns into a spanking. Just because I can’t clearly understand where that threshold lies is no problem. It’s a good thing. I have to be very careful because it might be one of those days that my lioness has a hair-trigger.

For the record, I’m not worried about being punished unfairly. She is much more worried about that than I would ever be. Getting spanked for what I think is a very small misstep is a great way to warn me that I must tread carefully around my lioness. There is a fundamental difference between concrete rules, like doing chores, and squishier stuff like being obedient. Rules require consistent enforcement. More subjective offenses don’t. They are in the eye of the lioness. She gets to decide when I’ve crossed the line. If she can accept that, it will be as easy to punish me for disobedience as it is for not setting up the coffee pot.

Friday night was a no-sex night. Mrs. Lion slept most of Friday afternoon. She works half a day on Fridays. We took our puppy for her 3-month shots and me for a haircut. When we got home, Mrs. Lion snoozed. She has been getting up at 5 AM with the dog. She got a couple of hours of snoozing. I watched “Card Sharks,” the 1978 shows. Eventually, I fell asleep too.

With all the snoozing and TV watching, I figured we could try the restraints that Mrs. Lion bought a few weeks ago (“Letting a Secret Slip“). I also imagined another serious edging session. Neither happened. We had stir-fry for dinner and then TV. Oh well.

Saturday, the dog got Mrs. Lion up at 5 AM and me at 5:30. After breakfast at 9, Mrs. Lion snoozed on and off for a couple of hours. She’s managing to get her cat naps in. I’m writing this on Saturday afternoon. Neither of us has done anything yet. We have to get the camper ready. We can do that tomorrow as well as today.

It feels to me that we are losing focus. I bragged that I hadn’t forgotten the coffee pot once since the “just because” spankings started. I asked Mrs. Lion if I had interrupted or annoyed her. She said, “Not really, but I haven’t paid a lot of attention.”

Part of this is Willow (the puppy) distracting her. I get a strong sense that the dog isn’t the entire explanation. Is it burnout? Do the “just because” spankings make Mrs. Lion feel she doesn’t need to play “catch and spank” anymore? If that’s true, we need to reconsider the “just because” spankings. They were intended to keep us both focused on our disciplinary marriage.

When I brought this up on Friday night, Mrs. Lion said that if she were only scheduling one “just because” spanking a week, she would have to find reasons to punish me so that I would still get at least two spankings a week. I don’t know if that will happen. I’m not looking forward to more spankings. I do want her to be observant and strict. We both know that is very good for our marriage.