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In: Spanking, Domestic discipline

Almost all of my posts about domestic discipline have been from my perspective regarding how I feel about the practice. Our reality is quite different. Let’s start at the most basic component of domestic discipline, spanking. Study after study has shown that almost ninety percent of us dream about spanking. As far as I can tell, the dreams are almost always about being spanked and are erotic. Yup, that’s me.

We’ve established that I want to be spanked. Does that mean domestic discipline is a spanking game? Remember, we are being absolutely honest. No fantasies. I think that Mrs. Lion considers it a sort of game. She makes rules, and I get spanked if she catches me breaking one. Spanking me doesn’t turn her on. It’s a necessary part of the game. I can think about it any way I want. I can imagine that I am submissive to her. I am positive she doesn’t believe she is in charge of everything.

Before I met Mrs. Lion, I did the spanking. I was an active top in the BDSM scene. The act of spanking a woman never got my motor running. Neither did thinking about doing it. It was a service I delivered. I admit that I enjoyed the reactions I got. It was fun to make a woman yelp and, at the same time, discover she was dripping wet with arousal. Yup, that was big fun. It was erotic as well. Most of the time, scenes didn’t end with sex. Sex was never permitted in public BDSM venues. Even if it were, I probably wouldn’t want to fuck. I often used my hand to get my partner off. That was allowed and encouraged–also big fun.

Consent is the basis of everything

Underlying all of this is that this activity is always fully consensual. Mrs. Lion will stop being my disciplining wife if I revoke my consent to accept her role. She can also revoke her consent at any time. Thee is no blackmail or other pressure to force either one of us to continue against our will. It’s this fact that most guys want to forget, me included. It’s much more fun to pretend we have no choice in these matters. When we discuss DD with our wives, and this notion is presented, they balk and shy away.

Domestic discipline is voluntary. It may not feel that way when I am told I will be punished, but it is. None of this means that it isn’t beneficial for our marriage. Even though my current rules are pretty trivial, the punishments are real. It hurts to sit for a couple of days after a spanking. When I break a rule, I cause Mrs. Lion a problem. For example, one of my rules is to set up the coffee pot for the following morning. If I forget, she has to do it at 7 AM when she is sleepy and grumpy.

If we weren’t practicing domestic discipline, she would set up the coffee pot and growl to herself. She wouldn’t mention it to me, but the annoyance would fester. It’s like squeezing the toothpaste from the middle of the tube. It isn’t important enough for an argument but accumulates in her mind until one day, she blows up way out of proportion to the issue that triggers the explosion. Would our marriage survive without DD? Of course, it would. DD is a stress reducer. It also satisfies a strong erotic need of mine.

The idea that something erotic can also serve a practical need may seem odd. It surprised me to learn that it isn’t. When we began domestic discipline, Mrs. Lion made a rule that I was sure to break often. If I got food on my shirt, I got spanked. Sure enough, I earned several spankings a week. That was exactly what she wanted. She had lots of opportunities to sharpen her spanking skills, and I got to experience what I had fantasized about for years.

it may be erotic, but it works anyway

It sounds like erotic play. Right? The strangest thing happened. After several weeks of frequent spankings for spilling, I began eating without spilling. I wasn’t trying consciously to be neat. It just happened. I can’t explain it. I wanted to be spanked. Spanking is erotic to me. Yet, being spanked for a behavioral issue actually trained me to change. We were both surprised.

There is no question that my behavior can be modified with domestic discipline. The changes aren’t permanent. A couple of weeks after a spanking, I will likely forget to set up the coffee pot. I don’t do it purposely. The chore stops being in front of mind. A spanking corrects that for a while. Even though it’s beneficial, Mrs. Lion wouldn’t do it unless I wanted it. The fact that, in her mind, this is a kind of game may explain why she has trouble punishing me for things like interrupting her or acting like a know-it-all.

Those things are upsetting to her. It’s easy to play the game when it’s obvious when I break a rule like failing to set up the coffee pot. It’s another story when Mrs. Lion can’t point to a specific physical offense. Interrupting her is subjective. She had to decide whether or not I really interrupted her or if I didn’t know she hadn’t finished a thought. She almost always gives me the benefit of the doubt. I think the problem here is that when it comes to rules that aren’t obvious, she tends to forget that she is playing a game.

Her emotions seem to get in her way. She forgets that we both agreed that she would find as many offenses as possible. My rules were designed to make it difficult for me to escape spankings. Along the way, we learned that our game could modify my behavior. She is struggling to internalize that interrupting is a valid opportunity to spank me, not a judgment about anything else. We agreed that she should find any excuse to spank me. It remains a form of training for both of us.

Can i get too many spankings?

You might worry that this could result in too many spankings. I’ve been spanked every day for three or four days. That hasn’t happened often. I survived with no problems. More importantly, I ended up feeling good about it. My point is that even if Mrs. Lion ends up punishing me several times a week, things will be fine. I’m also willing to bet that my behavior will change for the better. We agreed that frequent spankings would be right for me because I want to be spanked, and I like the idea of being held accountable for my behavior. That’s the simple reality of domestic discipline for us.

By:
In: Blogging, Domestic discipline, Male Chastity

I may be heading for a spanking. We are coming on two weeks of good behavior. This puts my bottom into “just because” spanking territory. Once we go more than ten days, Mrs. Lion starts to lose her edge spotting behavioral issues. “Just because” spankings are as much for her as for me. Of course, I’m the one who will have trouble sitting for a day or two.

It’s probably no shock that I read other blogs about spanking and orgasm control. I’ve noticed that other bloggers I read are writing much less frequently. I’ve heard that some are getting less traffic than they have in the recent past. Our traffic is steady, but not growing. I would suggest that more frequent writing would help. I don’t think that male chastity and domestic discipline are particularly good TikToK or Instagram topics., but what do I know.

Let’s face it; one male rear end is pretty much the same as another when it is bent over for a spanking. All penises don’t look alike, but they aren’t so different that you could identify a guy by a picture of his cock. The same is true of female parts. Pictures of my butt or penis are only interesting because of what’s been done to them., not their inherent good looks.

A big issue for sex bloggers like us is that we evolve, and the subject matter we discuss changes subtly. For example, at the beginning (2014), I wrote a lot about male chastity devices. I had a lot to say about fitting and living in one. It was new to me. Over time, I grew used to wearing my male chastity device, and it became less interesting to write about. We both accepted male orgasm control as a fact of life. It wasn’t special for me to be horny and wishing to come. Edging was my most common sexual activity.

As a result, my writing moved away from chastity devices and into the more internal realization that the devices trained me not to masturbate. It wasn’t remarkable that I had to wait for a release. I’ve had to wait for the last nine years. It’s no big deal. That’s the problem. If you are new to male chastity and are going through the same things I did in 2014, reading my 2022 adventures isn’t very useful or interesting. The blog evolved away from its initial audience.

Our traffic stays high because we have static pages about the basics of male chastity, spanking, and domestic discipline. Google points interested readers to those articles, or they discover them independently by looking at the menu. A small number of people do a blog search for topics of interest.

I think that one reason bloggers I follow are writing less often is that they feel that they have said all that needs to be said on the subjects of their blogs. Mrs. Lion and I sometimes feel that way too. We are approaching our 6,000th post. There isn’t much to say about our kinks that we haven’t covered. Our approach is to report our current state of affairs. This is probably not interesting to a beginner but may be helpful to people further along in these kinks.

We started writing about how we got into male chastity and spanking. Then, we wrote about integrating it into our lives and marriage. Now, we talk about how we keep our interests alive and refine our understanding. I could have gone in another direction. I could have written about my current fantasies, no matter how impractical to implement. I think that would be hot reading, but it feels wrong to write about it here. I restrict my fantasy reporting to activities within the realm of possibility. Mrs. Lion usually tries any I propose. When she tries them, we both report on how we are doing.

Our blog was always meant to be a sexual journal. It’s our story. We write it for each other as much as we write it for you. I realize that most of our readers don’t follow the blog. They seek specific information. That’s fine. Most of our regular blog readers found us after searching for something of interest. I’m happy you are reading what we write.

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In: Male Chastity, Domestic discipline

I have asked myself many times why I want my wife to own my sex life and have the power to punish me if I don’t do as she wishes? This isn’t what most people consider to be “normal.” I’m not bothered by whether or not I’m following the herd. I have some understanding of why I think what we are doing makes sense. That doesn’t get to the “why.”

I like to believe that our domestic discipline is a useful relationship tool. It’s based on two very different concepts. The first is that DD provides a way to equalize the power balance in our relationship. I have a fairly dominant personality. Mrs. Lion tends to accept what I want whether or not she agrees with me. My reasoning is that over time, she can build resentment and anger that has to leak out in ways that could endanger our marriage.

My theory is that by giving her the ability to punish me if I upset her or break a rule she has made, she feels more empowered, and by spanking me, she lets me know that I have to change my behavior. Punishing me lets her clean the slate. There is no built-up anger to leak out later. So far, this hasn’t worked out as well as I had hoped. I get punished if I break a rule, but I don’t feel her paddle if I upset her. This may be changing. We’ve been discussing how to improve in this area.

The second reason is that I’m sexually aroused when I think about being spanked. On one level, I want to be spanked. It does something for me sexually. This desire brought me to ask my wife to spank me if I broke a rule. A big reason she agreed is that she understood my need for spanking. This sexual need assures that I will always get into position to accept my spanking.

Orgasm control is a more complicated subject. Before we started male chastity, I got a mild sexual charge when I thought about it. It wasn’t the kind of need I have for spanking. In the past, when I tested male chastity devices, I didn’t find it hot to wear them. When I decided to try wearing a male chastity device in 2013, I wasn’t sure it would be something I would want to do for any length of time. I asked Mrs. Lion to let me try wearing one.

male chastity is a different sort of need

At first, it was a turn-on to be locked in a male chastity device. I liked how it felt when I tried to get hard. What really turned me on was Mrs. Lion unlocking me and jerking me off. I loved that she and she alone could give me sexual pleasure. When she began edging me nearly every day, I wanted to be able to jerk off. Of course, I couldn’t. The male chastity device made sure of that.

Over time, I learned that I wasn’t allowed to masturbate. The male chastity device made sure I couldn’t. Mrs. Lion’s edging sessions reinforced her role as my only sexual outlet. As time passed, I was conditioned not to masturbate. It didn’t matter whether or not I was locked in a male chastity device. I just didn’t do it, no matter how horny I felt. I can’t explain this change. In the years I was caged full time, I changed. I didn’t want to stop masturbating. I couldn’t.

I guess it was a classic case of conditioning. I was trained to stop masturbating. It didn’t matter how aroused I felt. I couldn’t get myself off. I can’t even get myself to the edge. When we started male chastity, I would have laughed if you had asked me if I would never masturbate again. Mrs. Lion’s first rule was that I couldn’t masturbate. At the time, I didn’t take that too seriously. I knew that I couldn’t as long as I was locked in a male chastity device. When out of it, I could and might even do it.

When she made that rule, she was surprised that I jerked off. She had no idea that I did it a couple of times a week when I was alone. That bothered her. She said that it felt like cheating. Cheating? I jerked off when I felt a lot of sexual pressure. It was release for me. Anyway, I had no choice about jerking off. I was locked up all of the time. The rule was moot.

I’m not tempted to do it anymore. It has nothing to do with my desire to obey Mrs. Lion’s rule. I just don’t. I don’t think I could get myself off if I tried. I haven’t made a real effort to find out. I  can usually get myself hard, but I don’t feel myself getting to the edge even if I keep trying. I need a helper to ejaculate. It’s a very good thing I have one.

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In: Male Chastity, Domestic discipline

I started the weekend working on our blog. If I didn’t fuck it up, you should be seeing pages serve up even faster than before. I’m shooting for under two seconds to see a page. I find myself driven deeper and deeper into weird web technology. I won’t bother you with the details. I’ll just say that there is a surprising amount of technology behind this blog. There isn’t too much in front of it.

Mrs. Lion and I tend to circle a subject for a long time before any changes happen. She has her way of processing prospective change. She said she would try to spank me if I interrupted her. She didn’t explicitly call out being a know-it-all or pissing her off in other ways. We’ll have to see.

Even though I write here about new ideas, that doesn’t mean I’m calling the disciplinary shots. I’m not. Mrs. Lion does what she wants. She will try things that I suggest, but that’s as far as my influence goes. The same is true of sex. For example, she agreed to try male chastity and kept me locked in a male chastity device. She started doing it because I asked. She continued because she felt it was working for us.

I don’t think she is very different from most other wives in that respect. They may be convinced to try something, but they won’t keep it up unless it works for them. Extra work is involved when it comes to male chastity or domestic discipline. It takes time to lock and unlock a chastity device. Even if the woman has her husband do it for her, the activity distracts from sexual activity. Spanking is hard work. It takes time and energy to do it.

While many guys roll their eyes at this because they believe male chastity and DD are beneficial to their wives, they are missing a critical point. A loving partnership doesn’t require spanking or orgasm control to work smoothly. Both are “extras” that the male partner requests. If a man has to be locked into a chastity device and driven mad with desire to get him to go down on his wife, guess what? She won’t want him to bother. There is nothing I need to be forced to do if Mrs. Lion wants it.

The same is true of domestic discipline. It’s true that I get punished when I miss a chore or (hopefully) if I annoy Mrs. Lion. That doesn’t mean I need punishment to do these things. It means that I can forget or behave thoughtlessly. If I do, I get spanked because I asked Mrs. Lion to do it. If she had to use her paddle to make me do the right thing, our marriage wouldn’t last. DD provides her a way to clear the slate when I screw up and remind me what  I need to do. It’s what I asked her to do, not what she imposed on me.

The best way to kill male chastity or domestic discipline is to make the practice unpleasant for your partner. Whining and endless references to what you want or expect. It’s no fun to either partner when this happens. It almost guarantees failure. We have a system. I bring up an idea and let Mrs. Lion know about it. If she agrees to try it, I let it go for a while. If I don’t see or feel anything after a few days, I remind her. She’ll tell me if that bothers her, and if it does, I stop. She is in control.

That doesn’t mean that I can never bring up the subject again. I can unless she tells me that she doesn’t want to do whatever I asked. If she follows through on our latest discussion (“Strike Three!“), I will get a strike if she feels pressured. The point is that we have a way to manage my anxiety and her sanity. It works for us.