I have asked myself many times why I want my wife to own my sex life and have the power to punish me if I don’t do as she wishes? This isn’t what most people consider to be “normal.” I’m not bothered by whether or not I’m following the herd. I have some understanding of why I think what we are doing makes sense. That doesn’t get to the “why.”
I like to believe that our domestic discipline is a useful relationship tool. It’s based on two very different concepts. The first is that DD provides a way to equalize the power balance in our relationship. I have a fairly dominant personality. Mrs. Lion tends to accept what I want whether or not she agrees with me. My reasoning is that over time, she can build resentment and anger that has to leak out in ways that could endanger our marriage.
My theory is that by giving her the ability to punish me if I upset her or break a rule she has made, she feels more empowered, and by spanking me, she lets me know that I have to change my behavior. Punishing me lets her clean the slate. There is no built-up anger to leak out later. So far, this hasn’t worked out as well as I had hoped. I get punished if I break a rule, but I don’t feel her paddle if I upset her. This may be changing. We’ve been discussing how to improve in this area.
The second reason is that I’m sexually aroused when I think about being spanked. On one level, I want to be spanked. It does something for me sexually. This desire brought me to ask my wife to spank me if I broke a rule. A big reason she agreed is that she understood my need for spanking. This sexual need assures that I will always get into position to accept my spanking.
Orgasm control is a more complicated subject. Before we started male chastity, I got a mild sexual charge when I thought about it. It wasn’t the kind of need I have for spanking. In the past, when I tested male chastity devices, I didn’t find it hot to wear them. When I decided to try wearing a male chastity device in 2013, I wasn’t sure it would be something I would want to do for any length of time. I asked Mrs. Lion to let me try wearing one.
male chastity is a different sort of need
At first, it was a turn-on to be locked in a male chastity device. I liked how it felt when I tried to get hard. What really turned me on was Mrs. Lion unlocking me and jerking me off. I loved that she and she alone could give me sexual pleasure. When she began edging me nearly every day, I wanted to be able to jerk off. Of course, I couldn’t. The male chastity device made sure of that.
Over time, I learned that I wasn’t allowed to masturbate. The male chastity device made sure I couldn’t. Mrs. Lion’s edging sessions reinforced her role as my only sexual outlet. As time passed, I was conditioned not to masturbate. It didn’t matter whether or not I was locked in a male chastity device. I just didn’t do it, no matter how horny I felt. I can’t explain this change. In the years I was caged full time, I changed. I didn’t want to stop masturbating. I couldn’t.
I guess it was a classic case of conditioning. I was trained to stop masturbating. It didn’t matter how aroused I felt. I couldn’t get myself off. I can’t even get myself to the edge. When we started male chastity, I would have laughed if you had asked me if I would never masturbate again. Mrs. Lion’s first rule was that I couldn’t masturbate. At the time, I didn’t take that too seriously. I knew that I couldn’t as long as I was locked in a male chastity device. When out of it, I could and might even do it.
When she made that rule, she was surprised that I jerked off. She had no idea that I did it a couple of times a week when I was alone. That bothered her. She said that it felt like cheating. Cheating? I jerked off when I felt a lot of sexual pressure. It was release for me. Anyway, I had no choice about jerking off. I was locked up all of the time. The rule was moot.
I’m not tempted to do it anymore. It has nothing to do with my desire to obey Mrs. Lion’s rule. I just don’t. I don’t think I could get myself off if I tried. I haven’t made a real effort to find out. I can usually get myself hard, but I don’t feel myself getting to the edge even if I keep trying. I need a helper to ejaculate. It’s a very good thing I have one.