Do maintenance spankings make any kind of sense? That question has been bothering me for some time. The proponents of this practice point out that if behavior is consistently good, the memory of the misery of punishment fades and misbehavior becomes more likely.

Under that theory, if I am good or bad, I will regularly be beaten. Unless I like to be spanked, I’m being punished unjustly. Of course, it’s not that simple. Many disciplined husbands actually like the dramatic demonstration of control a punishment spanking delivers. In the calm of a well behaved male’s life, dramatic demonstrations are missing. A maintenance spanking provides that sense of control.

This is a perfectly valid reason to beat a butt. It isn’t a deterrent to future misdeeds. It’s an opportunity feel the comfort of strong control. It seems ironic that punishment is such a popular way to express that control. On one hand, punishment educates and conditions the male to do what his disciplining partner wants. On the other, it is a painful security blanket that reassures him the control is still there.

I understand that. It’s been quite a while since I’ve been punished. I’m not worried that Mrs. Lion has decided not to be in charge anymore. She makes it very clear that she is in charge. I’m not tempted to get into trouble because it’s been a while since my last spanking. But, my memory of just how it feels when I will do anything to make her stop but can’t, has faded.

An active state of fear isn’t really required for me to work hard to be obedient. Of course, the memory of a recently burning butt is reinforcing. If you’re getting the feeling I’m ambivalent about maintenance spankings, you are right. There is, however, one very good reason to do them.

Mrs. Lion is still getting her spanking sea legs. I’m also still learning to have the self control to stay still for a very painful spanking. In short, we need practice. If we strip away the rationalizations about maintenance spankings, we are left with a real need to perfect punishment. We’ve both learned that it takes a lot of practice to be a disciplinary couple. Sadly, for my behind, the only way to practice is to do full-scale punishment spankings on a very regular basis. These beatings aren’t maintenance spankings, they’re batting practice.

166: That’s the number of ejaculations I’ve had since January 1, 2016. That’s when I started keeping track. It amounts to an average of one every six days. It felt like a longer wait to me. This is actually more frequent sex than the average middle-aged married man has. If you add in the edging — about 5 sessions a week — I have a much more active sex life than twenty-year-olds. If you consider that for this period I have been in an enforced male chastity marriage, that’s really extraordinary.

We are in a FLRD (Female Led Relationship with Discipline). As such, I’ve been spanked at least 100 times since 2016. We also practice BDSM. This generally entails some sort o sexually-based play. Aside from all the orgasms and edging, we play at least once a week. By any measure, there is a lot of sexual activity in our marriage.

Could it be that enforced chastity and FLRD assure a very active sex life? It certainly works out that way for us. I’ll bet you imagine that a chastised, submissive man sacrifices his sex life in favor of his kinks. I imagined that would be my lot in life. I’m happy to find the opposite is true. Yes, I have no vote as to when or where I ejaculate. Most of our play hurts. I get painfully spanked when I break a rule. I guess that is a bit childlike. If it is, I’m a kid with an amazing sex life.

All this chastity stuff isn’t about creating a male sexual desert. It’s about me surrendering sexual control. The only thing I’m allowed to use my penis for is peeing. Absolutely all sexual pleasure is at the whim of Mrs. Lion. After five years living this way, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’ve had only one orgasm inside Mrs. Lion since 2016. That;’s because she has lost her interest in sex for herself. I do hope her libido returns. About 60% of my orgasms have been hand jobs, 39% oral. Almost all the edging has been with Mrs. Lion’s hand or a vibrator. On rare occasions, she will edge me with her mouth. It is’t that Mrs. Lion doesn’t like the taste of semen. She loves it! It’s just that blow jobs take a lot more physical work. I’m not complaining. I get more oral sex than most men.

My point is that it’s impossible to predict how things end up. We started by locking my cock in a chastity device. I imagined I would be driven half mad with the need to ejaculate. I didn’t think about the simple fact that if I can be locked into a device, I can also be unlocked. Mrs. Lion understood that from day one.

166 orgasms later I’m well behaved. I won’t masturbate and I still get spanked for misbehaving. I’m also very happy and consider myself the luckiest guy in the world for being married to Mrs. Lion.

effective bare bottom spanking method
Click the image to enlarge.
The blue line is around the area of the bottom that should be spanked. The pink lines are the main areas that need attention. A pattern of two swats on the outer or upper left cheek followed by four to the pink strike zone, then four to the right pink zone and finally two more to the right area. This will provide a good spanking experience. Repeat!

Spanking for misdeeds is an important part of our disciplinary relationship. It is for many couples like us. Over the last four years, Mrs. Lion has been my disciplinary wife. We’ve both learned a lot about spankings, particularly punishment spankings over that time. To be completely transparent, for many years before I met Mrs. Lion, I was a sex instructor teaching BDSM techniques. One popular subject was spanking. Here is a combination of how-to and what really happened to us as we evolved. I suggest that both spanker and spankee read this post. It may help you.

When she started spanking me, I could hardly feel Mrs. Lion’s swats. She was being cautious to say the least. Over time (years!), her confidence grew and now she is comfortable making my butt a bright red. One important takeaway from this is that spankers are made, not born. Have patience, with lots of practice, you will spank with the best of them.

Spanking is easy to do, but there is technique to giving a good one. It’s a lot like pitching a baseball. First, the area above the center of the butt (see image — the blue oval is the safe zone) can be injured during a vigorous spanking. What other kind is there? So your spanking zone is inside the red box.

The “sweet spot”, the area most tender and sensitive, is in the lower third of his rear. Eight out of every dozen swats should be bestowed there. Those swats should also be significantly more intense to the ones outside the strike zone. More about this later.

As we learned the hard way, you can’t just start out full force. I rolled over and headed for the hills when Mrs. Lion did that. We learned that even a punishment spanking starts slowly. She always uses a paddle. You can use a hairbrush or other implement, but even in the beginning, hands off! Hand spankings are for BDSM play.

Follow the pattern in the picture. Two swats to the outside or top of the red box, the four much harder swats to the left sweet spot, then four more just as hard to the right sweet spot. Last, two softer to the outside area. Rinse and repeat, a lot. You may be wondering why we have an even number of swats to each area. The idea is to hit the same exact spot at least twice in a row. Repetition intensifies the sensation. If you focus all four of your sweet spot swats to the same place, you will have a strong effect on your partner. In fact, if your rhythm is two fast swats, slight pause, two more, slight pause, etc. you will set up a comfortable beat for your beating.

In the beginning the harder sweet-spot swats won’t be all that hard, but as you go, make them more intense.  You want to build to the point that he wriggles a bit and maybe kicks his feet, just on the edge of rolling away. As you go on, he will remain reasonably still for harder swats. Keep up the pattern and rhythm. You may be going fairly slowly at first, but as the intensity grows, so should the speed.

The reason to hold to the pattern is that he will start to anticipate what is coming next. His sweet spots will be much sorer than the outer area. So as you go on, he will dread when you move to your strike zones. In my case, the right green zone usually hurts more than the left. I brace for the blows that land there. The pattern helps build that dread.

He will tell you to stop. A calm, “No, not yet,” will remind him who is in charge. The whole point of this spanking is to cause controlled pain. You may see visual signs that your task is nearly finished when you see bruising or white spots on his bottom. Avoid hitting the bruises if you can.

When you feel he has had enough to learn his lesson, then stop. Chances are good that you will want to stop too soon. Mrs. Lion says that maybe she is done and then decides she isn’t and goes on for a while longer. I hate that!

You can speed up the rhythm as you go. Just try to avoid pausing or slowing down. If he really can’t handle the level of swatting you are dishing out, then back off, but don’t stop! Less intense swats are fine if needed, but to make the strongest impression, keep that paddle swinging until you are done.

punishment stoolOnce the swatting is over, it’s a good idea to give him time to think about what just happened. Five or ten minutes in a corner with his hands behind his head gives him a nice chance to appreciate your work. You can make it longer if you wish, but less isn’t effective. Mrs. Lion will make me sit in the corner on my punishment stool. This is a wooden stool with the seat covered in a rough fabric cut from a boot-cleaning welcome mat. That really digs into my sweet spots and hurts a lot.

She will sometimes follow that with a mouth soaping. More about that in another post. I’m sure you get the idea.

When we first started out, Mrs. Lion made rules that I was sure to break often. One was that I am not allowed to spill food on my shirt. I was a pretty messy eater and had to be punished at least a couple of times a week for spilling. This gave us both a chance to learn spanking. Interestingly, as we no longer needed those “training spankings”, I stopped spilling on my shirt.

Spanking works as an educational tool once it is taken seriously. Happy teaching and learning!

angry lin
Damn it! Say something!

It’s ironic that the post I wrote about getting very few comments only received one. It also got just two “likes”. Part of the problem is that in order to Like or comment on a post, you need to be on the page that contains only that post. We use WordPress as the content management system for our blog. WordPress in its infinite wisdom doesn’t let people comment if they just visit the blog itself. In other words, if you go to https://malechastityjournal.com, you will see our most recent post as well as earlier ones if you scroll down. There is nothing to suggest you need to do more in order to interact with us.

Sadly, you do. If the title of the post is blue, you are on the “home” page and can’t Like or comment. If you click the title, you will go to a page that looks exactly like the one you just left except the title is black and magically, you will see the “Like” button and comments form after the post. That really sucks. Now if you got here by clicking a link somewhere that is the title of this post, you will automatically be at the page that allows comments.

It’s really ironic that our most faithful, and most likely-to-comment readers don’t click a link to get here. They just type in the main URL or click a bookmark to this address. That means they have to click the title to interact.

There is a possible fix. I can set up the post so that you will have to click a link to finish reading the post. This “more” link will automatically take you to the page that allows comments and likes. It just seems like it’s a  pain in the ass to have to click that “more” link in the middle of the post. I wonder what would happen if I put the more link at the end. Then,  you just click it to comment or like. What do you think?

Here. Try it now. Click the link below to comment or like this post.

Read More →