By:
In: Spanking, Sex

Mrs. Lion has decided to take my suggestion and spank me if I don’t perform sexually as she wishes. The idea isn’t to train me to ejaculate on command. That’s more BDSM stuff. She will spank me if she can’t bring me to the edge of orgasm or make me ejaculate when she wants. That doesn’t mean I’m working against a timer or anything like that. It is much simpler. If she runs out of steam and I don’t achieve what she wants, I get spanked. Julie from strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com wrote a great comment about this process:

“I think she should paddle you when you fail to ejaculate, and she would prefer you do. Likewise, if you ejaculate during edging and she did not intend you to. It’s not about penalizing you or punishing you in either case, it’s just a fact of life.”

This is a profound change in the way we look at spanking. Originally, it was a part of play. I get turned on by the idea of being spanked. Mrs. Lion would spank me as part of a scene when we adopted an FLR where Mrs. Lion made and enforced rules. Spanking evolved into a true punishment. It’s been very effective in helping me learn what Mrs. Lion wishes. Julie is suggesting that spanking is also a routine way of reminding me of my role.

If I can’t reach the edge, for example, I’m not naughty. It’s simply that I’m supposed to do it. Failing results in a spanking. It’s that simple. If I can’t get to the edge, I’m spanked. If I ejaculate when I shouldn’t, I get spanked. It isn’t that I was naughty. It’s just what happens. Julie has been very successful training her husband David with this technique. I suppose it seems harsh to some, but for Julie and us, it isn’t unreasonable. [Mrs. Lion — I’m not convinced it isn’t unreasonable. I’m just agreeing to try it.]

Julie also uses spanking as a way of reminding David who is in charge:

“For example, sometimes I organize (enthusiastically) for other women to perform sexual acts on my husband. Afterward, I always give him the most severe spankings to “remind him to whom he belongs”. It’s not punitive. I set it up. I encouraged it. His subsequent spanking is just a fact of life.”

In this example, David didn’t fail to meet an expectation. It’s just a way to help him focus on Julie as the woman who holds the power. I’m very impressed with this idea. I know Mrs. Lion isn’t planning to expose me to other women, but there are times when I might forget my place. A spanking would certainly remind me of who is in charge. This is a much more logical concept than our “just because” spankings. Instead, it’s a fact of life, a reminder for me. It doesn’t require a warning or explanation. It’s just like edging, a fact of life.

My interpretation of this concept is that instead of using words to remind me, Mrs. Lion uses the paddle. It makes a lot of sense. I can’t argue with a spanking. I’m smart enough to know that complaining will just make it worse. I have to shut up and accept the ten-minute fact of life. I realize that this concept is very different. Mrs. Lion isn’t sure about it but agrees it’s worth trying.

The hardest part is realizing it isn’t punitive. I’m not being punished. It’s no different than our teasing sessions. I get edged almost every day with no hope of release. It’s a fact of life. We’ve been doing this for over eight years. A new fact of life is a spanking if I can’t reach the edge or ejaculate when Mrs. Lion didn’t intend it. Another fact of life is that I get spanked if Mrs. Lion thinks I need reminding of who is in charge. It isn’t punishment. It’s just a fact of life.

By:
In: Sex

I was unfair to Mrs. Lion in my post yesterday. She doesn’t bore me. I love every moment we are together. The sexual issues are almost certainly mine. Abstinence causes my ability to respond to change. When we started, I imagined that my interest in sex would grow every day I was forced to wait. It didn’t. For the first couple of weeks, I got more and more frustrated. After that, my interest varied between super horny and uninterested.

This confuses me. On day 24, Mrs. Lion tried to edge me. It was easy for her to get me hard, but even in her mouth, I couldn’t get to the edge. Two days before that, she edged me over and over with little difficulty. I don’t get it. There is something unnatural about male chastity. While it’s an exciting kink, it’s also a big change from “normal” sexual behavior. The challenge isn’t just having to wait between orgasms. It’s also being able to have one when Mrs. Lion wants.

She has been very understanding about me not ejaculating when she decides I should. If I’m not in the mood, as she calls it, Mrs. Lion doesn’t get upset or penalizes me. Is male chastity only about withholding orgasms? I’m not sure it is. It seems to me that it is about controlling orgasms. Delay is only half of the game. The other half is semen delivery. We agree that unauthorized ejaculation is a problem. If Mrs. Lion accidentally pushes me over the edge, she acknowledges that I shouldn’t be penalized. I can’t control my response at the instant of going over the edge. If I ever get off without her, that is a very serious offense.

What should she do if she expects an orgasm and I don’t deliver one? Is that a spankable offense? Perhaps it should be, maybe administered when Mrs. Lion decides she isn’t going to get me off. Will this improve my responsiveness? I don’t know. Is it disobedient to not ejaculate when required? Mrs. Lion reasons that I want to ejaculate. If I fail, it can’t be my fault. It isn’t an act of willfulness. She’s right. I want to have that orgasm, but I can’t.

The real question is whether penalizing me for failing to reach the edge or ejaculate will improve my responsiveness? It could. At the least, it would give Mrs. Lion a reason to paddle me. We know that consistent spanking will change my behavior. I don’t spill food on my shirt or eat first. Consistent spanking for failing changed me. I am much better about remembering to set up the coffee pot. I have to admit that Mrs. Lion can change me with her paddles.

This would be another painful lioness experiment. I’m proposing it because I am frustrated and upset by my lack of responsiveness. I can’t understand it. Maybe it can be corrected. At the least it’s something else that Mrs. Lion can catch me doing.

By:
In: Sex

Sex is complicated when only one partner wants it. If we both want orgasms, one of us could do sexual things to arouse the other. For example, it’s been 24 days (as of Monday) since my last orgasm. I want sex. Duh! Aside from the obvious issue that I don’t get to decide when I can ejaculate, I have no way to help the process along. So, all sexual activity falls on Mrs. Lion.

The problem is that since she gets no feeling out of sexual activity, she has no incentive to find ways to arouse me. For example, the other night, we were snuggling. It was asexual and very nice. I suggested she might want to use her hand a bit lower on my body. She took the hint and played with my penis. Sounds good so far, right? Well, not exactly. I’ve learned that the usual way she likes to play with it isn’t very successful in getting me hard. She seems to find it more difficult to use her hand the way that works best for me.

I’m not saying that eventually, things work. It’s just that it doesn’t feel like she wants to do what works for me. The reason isn’t that she doesn’t want me to have fun. It’s probably that she isn’t focusing on arousing me. I imagine she figures that if I really want sex, I’ll get hard no matter how she touches me. That’s true sometimes. It isn’t how it feels to me.

I could get more aroused if I was arousing her. It’s exciting to turn my lioness on. I can’t do that now, so I am dependent on her turning me on without me reciprocating. You’d think that after all these years of her disinterest in sex, I would be fine with whatever she does. I thought I would be. I’m not. Snuggling with some random penis action doesn’t work well anymore. I guess Mrs. Lon has to go for the gold to turn me on. She knows how. I taught her the last time I got to jerk off.

She has good reasons not to use her hand the way I like. It requires shoulder motion that can hurt when she is lying with her head on my chest. Still, just a little goes a long way. So does remembering my other erotic zones. I love my balls tickled, my perineum stroked, and a finger or two in my butt. It’s odd to hear a guy talk this way, but the truth is that over the years, Mrs. Lion seems to have forgotten most of that. While she sucks me, she might tug on my balls. That’s fun. There’s other stuff she can do while she’s in the neighborhood. Things have gotten a little routine, I guess.

By:
In: Lion's Journal

Saturday was my birthday. I don’t expect much. Birthdays have become much less important to me than they were in the past. I was upset because this one was not special at all. When I woke up on Saturday morning, Mrs. Lion gave me a box with a nice terrarium in it. It was a thoughtful gift. After that, it was a typical day. She decided to install a storm door we got. I figured a handyman would do that. It took her most of the day and wasn’t finished when she stopped working. OK, I get that. I spent most of the morning on the phone with our insurance company and damage remediation contractors. A pipe burst late last week and damaged stuff we had stored in the basement of the house we rent.

Anyway, it wasn’t a great day. Mrs. Lion didn’t ride me. On the plus side, my daughter called and sang “Happy Birthday to You” to me. I’m writing this post on Sunday. I asked Mrs. Lion to go with me to the casino tonight. I can get a nice roast beef dinner and maybe win some money. Mrs. Lion was very nice today when I explained why I felt bad. She loves me. That means more to me than any birthday gift or celebration. I’m thankful for that every day.