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In: Spanking

This blog talks about fairly advanced stuff. Let’s step back for a minute and look at beginnings. First, over 80 percent of all adults fantasize about spanking. The majority fantasize about being spanked. Most never go past the fantasy. You’re in a happy relationship, and you get aroused imagining someone spanking you. That’s perfectly normal. It’s abnormal not to think of that.

Your partner has hinted about you delivering a spanking. You either ignored the hints or refused. Most likely, you hoped the subject would go away. Even if your partner never mentions it again, it remains an active fantasy. Since I’m male, I will offer my advice to the person whose female partner wants to be spanked. If you are a female whose male partner wants to be spanked, everything here applies.

As someone who has spent decades as a spanker and a spankee, I am well-qualified to discuss this. I’ll assume that you (prospective spanker) haven’t fantasized about spanking. Your partner gets sexually aroused when thinking about being spanked. It turns her on imagining you taking her over your knee and spanking her. She’s probably constructed all sorts of fantasy scenarios in which this occurs. All of them are about you taking charge and controlling her.

If she’s hinted at being spanked, she may have also elaborated on her fantasy. My suggestion is to discourage too much conversation about these fantasies. They will only complicate your learning process. Ask her directly. “Do you want me to spank you even if it hurts?” She may reply with more fantasy dialogue. Stop her and repeat the question. Remind her that all you want is a “yes” or “no.” Aside from getting her consent, you are also asserting your power. She wants to tell you how she wants to be spanked. All you want is her permission.

OK, surprise, surprise, she wants to be spanked. Now you are stuck with feeling good about hitting her. Hitting her? Nice people don’t hit their partners. No, they don’t. Spanking in this context has nothing to do with abuse or hurting her. She gets aroused when she is spanked. It’s not abuse. It’s foreplay.

It’s going to feel pretty odd the first time she lies across your lap. Be sure her head is on on the opposite side of your dominant hand. If you are a righty, her head should be on your left. Use your dominant hand to swat her bottom. Hit her once on the lower part of one of her cheeks with your open hand. Hit hard enough to get a reaction. Repeat on the opposite cheek. Alternate about one swat every two seconds. After about ten, stop. Reach between her legs. She’s wet. Cool Resume spanking until she is a nice, deep pink. That’s it. Tell her to kneel in front of you and suck your cock. You’ve earned it. I guarantee her fantasy has been nicely fulfilled.

If you are a woman spanking a man, he may start hard but lose his erection during the spanking. This is perfectly normal. After you finish and he gives you oral sex, ask him if he had fun. He will tell you that he did and will probably want to get off.

You don’t need to act out elaborate scenarios. If your partner wants to be spanked, it’s because it turns her on. You only need two things to satisfy this desire: permission and a bare bottom over your lap. You may not enjoy it, but your partner will. Try it and see how happy you make her.

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In: BDSM

Some people think that things just “come naturally.” Mrs. Lion beats herself up because she can’t seem to follow through on sexual/BDSM things she wants to do to me. She doesn’t want to let me down. It isn’t that doing this stuff isn’t natural for her. She has the same issue with almost everything else. It’s tough for her to remember to follow through with things. For example, she has difficulty putting things away that she takes out.

This isn’t a character flaw. She hasn’t figured out how to manage these things. I have a strong tendency to forget to do things. That’s how I’ve earned a lot of spankings for not setting up the coffee pot. Enough sore bottoms motivated me to develop a system to assure that I don’t forget. Maybe Mrs. Lion needs a similar system.

I switched my personal email to Outlook. It has a great calendar feature. I created recurring “appointments” for things I needed to do. Every night at midnight, Outlook puts a reminder on my screen to do the coffee pot. The reminder is on my desktop when I sit down at the computer. It stays there until I close it out. Voila!

Mrs. Lion could do the same thing. Just create reminders for what she plans to do to me. Since she uses her iPad a lot, she can set Outlook up on it. She could also use the Apple calendar, which has great reminders. Before using Outlook, I used the Apple calendar to remind me of punishment days. Another spanking saver!

She could also go low-tech. Make lists. A lot of people use lists to keep themselves on track. Finally, she could try what I’ve been working on for years. I try to remind myself to put things away as soon as I’m done with them. Maybe this is a fertile field for Mrs. Lion’s rule-making. Failure to put something away gets me spanked. She could just remind herself without the spanking.

There’s one other tool that would work in two ways. She could put a Post-It note on the bathroom mirror to remind her what she plans to do to me. It would not only help her remember, but it would also give me a coming attraction.

By:
In: Humiliation

I usually write my posts the day before they are published. This is because they are released at 5 AM my time. Sorry, I’m not getting up at 4 AM to write my post. Anyway, it’s just before noon on Saturday. So far, it’s been a quiet morning. Mrs. Lion wrote her post and asked me to read it. She may or may not be promising to make me wear panties today or tomorrow, or sometimes. It isn’t clear to me.

She wondered if my kegel exercises with an EMS machine might make anal play easier. It’s possible. The probe I use is six inches long and one inch in diameter. I lube it with conductive jelly. I have difficulty getting enough on the probe and then up my ass. I ordered a lube injector and will use that to “pave the way” for the probe. No, it doesn’t feel particularly enjoyable to use it. Anal activity is uncomfortable for me. With practice, I can learn to accept larger visitors. From time to time, Mrs. Lion likes to play back there.

She seems to have lost interest in most of the stuff we used to do. I suppose it’s natural for this to happen. Sporadic play is often more disruptive than fun for me. I also get into the habit of not being played with. I don’t necessarily welcome it when it happens the first time after a hiatus. If the next session comes within a day or two, I am prepared and welcoming.

That’s not to say I won’t enjoy the attention. I absolutely will. Do I like wearing panties? No, not particularly. They don’t fit well around my male anatomy. I’m always aware that they are on. Since nobody sees me in them, I’m not particularly embarrassed wearing them. I like the feeling of being “forced” to wear them by Mrs. Lion. I like it when she does things that demonstrate her power. That’s what makes anal play fun even though it’s uncomfortable.

Things change if she makes me go out in panties or a diaper. Then I am very aware of the potential for humiliation. During a power failure, I got the same feeling when we went to a local rec center to shower. I was very aware of my hairlessness when in the locker room and community shower. That was a few years ago. Since then, I’ve lost my shyness about that.

I suppose that if I had to wear panties all of the time, I’d stop worrying about discovery. Maybe I wouldn’t. I don’t want to find out.

By:
In: Sex
lion's tied balls

Mrs. Lion’s last post, “One Good Electro-Stimulator Deserves Another,” makes me sound pretty selfish. Maybe I am. In her eyes, it appears that way. [Mrs. Lion — No, not selfish. Just sending mixed signals sometimes.] She didn’t tell me that she had heartburn. She just said that she wasn’t hungry after a big lunch. She had been promising oral sex for days. [Mrs. Lion — See? I promised and didn’t deliver. That’s why I stopped promising things in emails.] If she didn’t feel up to it, I would have been very happy to wait. I didn’t get a chance to express my opinion.

It’s clear that Mrs. Lion is upset about what I wrote. Let’s face it, sex is a difficult subject to handle when things aren’t working very well. Mrs. Lion tries very hard to give me good sex. I admit that sometimes what I say I want is contradictory. She used the example of me telling her that before she starts tying up my balls or putting IcyHot on them, it helps to play with my cock and get me hard. Yesterday, I wrote that just going for my penis doesn’t work reliably. Contradictory, right?

Not exactly. Yesterday, I wrote about how I need to be prepared mentally. Since we can’t make out and do normal foreplay, coming attractions help get my motor running. I’m not contradicting myself. The coming attraction gets me ready for fun. Then, when Mrs. Lion is ready to begin the festivities, the direct stimulation will prepare me for burning balls. If I had no time to consider my upcoming fate, the penis play isn’t nearly as hot. [Mrs. Lion — I wonder how much of a coming attraction he needs. It may be even more doable without emails since I’m home. Not much can change on my 20 foot commute to the bedroom.]

My EMS electrostimulation has helped with urinary urgency, but Thursday’s orgasm was dry. About an hour later, some sticky fluid leaked out of my penis. I think it was a little semen. I have an appointment with a urologist in a couple of weeks to look into this problem. Meanwhile, the lion well is running dry.