This blog talks about fairly advanced stuff. Let’s step back for a minute and look at beginnings. First, over 80 percent of all adults fantasize about spanking. The majority fantasize about being spanked. Most never go past the fantasy. You’re in a happy relationship, and you get aroused imagining someone spanking you. That’s perfectly normal. It’s abnormal not to think of that.

Your partner has hinted about you delivering a spanking. You either ignored the hints or refused. Most likely, you hoped the subject would go away. Even if your partner never mentions it again, it remains an active fantasy. Since I’m male, I will offer my advice to the person whose female partner wants to be spanked. If you are a female whose male partner wants to be spanked, everything here applies.

As someone who has spent decades as a spanker and a spankee, I am well-qualified to discuss this. I’ll assume that you (prospective spanker) haven’t fantasized about spanking. Your partner gets sexually aroused when thinking about being spanked. It turns her on imagining you taking her over your knee and spanking her. She’s probably constructed all sorts of fantasy scenarios in which this occurs. All of them are about you taking charge and controlling her.

If she’s hinted at being spanked, she may have also elaborated on her fantasy. My suggestion is to discourage too much conversation about these fantasies. They will only complicate your learning process. Ask her directly. “Do you want me to spank you even if it hurts?” She may reply with more fantasy dialogue. Stop her and repeat the question. Remind her that all you want is a “yes” or “no.” Aside from getting her consent, you are also asserting your power. She wants to tell you how she wants to be spanked. All you want is her permission.

OK, surprise, surprise, she wants to be spanked. Now you are stuck with feeling good about hitting her. Hitting her? Nice people don’t hit their partners. No, they don’t. Spanking in this context has nothing to do with abuse or hurting her. She gets aroused when she is spanked. It’s not abuse. It’s foreplay.

It’s going to feel pretty odd the first time she lies across your lap. Be sure her head is on on the opposite side of your dominant hand. If you are a righty, her head should be on your left. Use your dominant hand to swat her bottom. Hit her once on the lower part of one of her cheeks with your open hand. Hit hard enough to get a reaction. Repeat on the opposite cheek. Alternate about one swat every two seconds. After about ten, stop. Reach between her legs. She’s wet. Cool Resume spanking until she is a nice, deep pink. That’s it. Tell her to kneel in front of you and suck your cock. You’ve earned it. I guarantee her fantasy has been nicely fulfilled.

If you are a woman spanking a man, he may start hard but lose his erection during the spanking. This is perfectly normal. After you finish and he gives you oral sex, ask him if he had fun. He will tell you that he did and will probably want to get off.

You don’t need to act out elaborate scenarios. If your partner wants to be spanked, it’s because it turns her on. You only need two things to satisfy this desire: permission and a bare bottom over your lap. You may not enjoy it, but your partner will. Try it and see how happy you make her.

Listen to this post.


  1. >>I guarantee her fantasy has been nicely fulfilled.


    Spanking is a pretty narrow interest, not that complicated to do and yet, after over a decade playing with others, I’m still discovering particulars and am regularly impressed by how individual all we spankos are in our fantasies. I’m confident that your recipe would disappoint a great many spankos. .

    1. Author

      My suggestions are designed to help newbies get started with spanking. You have to start someplace. Most of us do better if our first experiences are as uncomplicated as possible.

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