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Enforced Chastity is a surprisingly simple kink. No special BDSM skills are required. Normally, two people play, but one can play with no problem at all. Chastity devices have evolved into simple, two-piece units; a base ring through which the balls and penis are threaded, and a cage or tube that encloses the penis. The cage is locked onto the base ring. Voila!

There are two main reasons that men wear chastity devices. The most popular is as a form of sexual bondage. Wearing a chastity device restricts erection and makes orgasm difficult-to-impossible. The second reason is as genital jewelry. Very expensive, elaborate chastity devices are often custom made for clients who enjoy this form of jewelry.

There’s a lot of mythology surrounding enforced male chastity. The most popular is that the keyholder locks a willing male into a chastity device. Once securely imprisoned, he is told he may never get out. He will never have another orgasm. Some variation of this fuels many sexy dreams about male chastity. Some overactive male imaginations realize that for this fantasy to come true, the device must be inescapable. This starts a quest for the chastity device that would confound Houdini. This, of course, fails the test of common sense. Men are locked into chastity devices because they want to be. The practice is entirely consensual.

When you strip away the drama and hyperbole of the male chastity myths, it all boils down to sexual control. The chastity device provides a realistic illusion of sexual helplessness. As long as the device is attached, its wearer can’t get an erection or have an orgasm. Eliminating the obvious reality that escape is possible, if uncomfortable, the keyholder controls any sexual pleasure the wearer can have.

A lot of guys who want to be locked up, also want to be “forced” to provide sexual and domestic services for their keyholders. This is a central theme in many fantasies. The rationalization is that once sexual pleasure is prevented, the male will become so desperate for release that he will do anything, even iron or give his keyholder oral orgasms, in order to earn an orgasm for himself. Over time, according to the myths, the male will lose interest in his own satisfaction and get sexual pleasure out of giving orgasms to his keyholder.

There’s a big problem with this myth. What woman would want oral sex from a man who is only willing to do it because he wants his cock out of a chastity device? The arousing myth is being “forced” to give pleasure to his keyholder. It’s fine to think that way, but consider how insulting it is to the keyholder. I suspect that one reason a lot of women refuse to play the male chastity game is that they don’t want sex from a man who has to be sexually enslaved before he will use his tongue to please her.

Like most jerk off fantasies, male chastity myths are complex and strictly from the male point of view. The reality of enforced male chastity is very different. Despite the myth, it’s primarily male driven. I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up. For a long time Mrs. Lion took her cues from me. She learned what I was looking for. I wasn’t totally satisfied because I knew that I was driving the process.

Over time, Mrs. Lion took over. She considers my suggestions, but does what she pleases. I think this is true of many couples. The secret is patience.

I think that being locked in a chastity device while apart from Mrs. Lion is indeed helping me feel more connected to her. It seems weird for this inanimate object to connect me to my lioness who is 3,000 miles away. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. It helps bring us together sexually when we are together. But at long distance?

Nothing has changed. Wild or caged, I won’t masturbate. That’s been forbidden for five years and I’m not really tempted. My day-to-day routine is unaffected by the state of my penis. Yes, peeing is a bit more challenging, but that is really trivial. Yes, I’m aware it’s there. It’s not painful, but pressure from my clothes reminds me I’m locked up.

What is this mysterious force that connects me to Mrs. Lion. I miss her. I always do when we are apart. I’m not really anxious to be unlocked, so it isn’t Christmas-morning anticipation that makes the difference. I’m comfortable enough in my locked state. But still, this separation has a different quality than others in the past.

I figured that having the cage as a topic of conversation would keep us close. But we barely ever to it. I don’t mind the lack of focus on the device. I know it’s there and she is equally aware of it.

I have a theory. Maybe it is our individual knowledge that her intention to keep me locked acts as emotional glue. We both know that part of me remains under her control even though she is far away and busy doing other things. The cage is here attached to me. I know it will remain in position until she wants to remove it. That certainly feeds my bondage kink.

When we started enforced chastity, she locked me in a chastity device because she wanted to ‘make me happy’ by supporting that kink. That service to me is always in the background. But as we both have written, it’s much more now. It’s an expression of Mrs. Lion’s control over me.

If she didn’t lock it on me, I wouldn’t do it myself. I never considered locking up my penis as particularly exciting or even interesting. It’s the interactive, submissive nature of being locked in without a choice in the matter that turns me on. That’s certainly no surprise.

What surprises me is that my lioness is interested in keeping me caged even when she is across the continent. I don’t really know why she decided to do this. I’m not sure she knows either. What I do know is that the chastity device is working its magic on both of us.