By:
In: Spanking

We got a pizza oven the other day. After work, I was going to get my prescriptions and some topsoil. Instead, Lion asked me to unpack the pizza oven. When I get my prescriptions, I’m going to pick up some pizza ingredients. I agreed to push off my errand until today. We have a habit of wasting weekend days by not getting our buns in gear very early. I wanted to make sure we got to the store in the morning, so I had the afternoon to do other things. Then Lion threw me another curve. Just before dinner, he said he wanted Mexican food. The good Mexican food is in the same town as the prescriptions and Home Depot. I suggested getting Mexican food tonight, and I can do my errands then.

This morning (actually afternoon because we didn’t get our buns in gear again), I locked down some wiring for Lion’s latest ham radio antenna. I just needed to make sure I’m not going to lop them off when I mow the lawn. I’m not convinced I won’t, but we’ll hope for the best. I was lucky enough to get done just as the sun broke through the clouds. We had 90s for a few days and then it got down to a chilly 80 for a few days. It’s still hot. I was sweating even though there was cloud cover. Now I wait for Lion to tell me he needs a newer, bigger, better antenna. He assures me the next one up is too expensive. Uh huh.

I didn’t spank him last night. I guess that’s no surprise. I thought about it. It just seemed like too much to do. I didn’t catch him before he started watching TV. Then I didn’t want to disturb him after dinner. Excuses, excuses. I could spank him before we go out to eat. That way he’ll be sitting on sore buns. I won’t promise I’ll do that because it will just be another disappointment if I don’t follow through. He will be spanked before the end on the weekend. I will promise that.

By:
In: Uncategorized, Lion's Journal

I haven’t written any fiction since March. The avalanche of rejections got to me. All those agents can’t be wrong. Can they? Some people say that if you are truly a writer, you will write no matter what. Maybe I’m not really a writer. The lack of interest in my writing suggests that I may be delusional.

The other day, I had a thought. Maybe the problem is that I’m trying to write commercial fiction that neatly fits into a genre I like to read. I’ve been told that my writing has a good voice. Maybe, just maybe, that voice had nothing to say. I like light mysteries with quirky characters. I like female protagonists. That’s what I wrote.

I got feedback from one editor.

She said that I had the wrong protagonist. She thought that if I made one of my male characters the protagonist, the manuscript would be more marketable. I hated that idea when I read it. She had a point. The market is flooded with cute, quirky female detectives. I don’t need to create a protagonist who turns me on. I need to use my voice to reflect me, not someone I’m attracted to.

Many years ago, I had a great late-night snack with a famous sci-fi author. I asked him about his approach to writing. He said, “Never get sucked into your story. Stay above it and consciously create the emotions you want your readers to feel.” Oh, yeah. Those were profound words.

Consider what you read on the Web. Most of the kinky fiction is created by people who write what arouses them. The words describe physical activities and resulting emotional reactions. The appeal is limited to the people who also get turned on by the same things. It’s not a bad formula for a narrow market, but it is self-limited by the author’s involvement in the story.

What if I write something in my voice?

What if I call on my real-life experiences to drive a male character in a plot I design to involve reader without worrying about fitting my favorite genre? What will happen if nobody wants to buy that story? That’s the scary question. So far, I’ve written stories and created characters that I like, but don’t represent me. What happens if I invest myself and reflect who I am in my protagonist? Scary.

Some people say I should self-publish my work. the problem with that is I have no clue how to let the world know the book exists. Worse, if I self-publish something and then decide to go through traditional publishing on my next work, the agents and editors will judge my marketability on how well my self-published book sold. Since I know that I can’t promote a book I publish myself, chances are very good I won’t sell more than a few hundred copies. Not a good reference on my resume.

That’s what has kept me sending my query letters to agents. I’ve decided to start writing again. This time it will be my male voice. Maybe someone will want to buy this attempt.

By:
In: Erections, Spanking

Lion wondered if I should have control of his boners again as a way to get us out of the slump we’ve been in. On one hand, I can see where he’s coming from. I used to decide when to try to edge him. On the other hand, trying had fewer consequences. I’d try, and he’d either be able or not. No harm, no foul. Now, I think it really depends on his willingness/need to have sex. If I tell him to inject boner juice when he really doesn’t feel like it, we’ve wasted money. Granted, for the past week or so, with him in control of when to inject, we haven’t had any luck getting him to orgasm, so one could argue we’ve been wasting money anyway. However, I think we’ll get there, and I don’t think the key is my being in control of his erections.

What I think needs to happen is more spanking. Lion has said this. I agree. The next step is to get me to do it. I’ve been feeling pretty stressed out about getting things done around here. I keep thinking, “If I could just get X done, it’s easy from there.” The problem is that it’s not easy once X is done. There’s just another X behind it. And a whole row of Xs behind that one. Somehow, I need to figure out how to feel some sort of accomplishment when I finish X and move on to the next one. No, spanking Lion will not give me that sense of accomplishment.

Today, I was going to get my prescriptions and a few bags of topsoil from Home Depot to fill in the holes I created by moving the landlord’s lawnmower killing rocks. I also need to change the bed or poor Lion will scratch himself to death with allergies. It’s difficult to do both of those things with the time constraint of being after work and when Lion likes to eat dinner. There’s less of an urgency for the prescriptions and dirt, so I’ll do the dirt tomorrow. Lion will be happy for the clean sheets. He may not be so happy if I decide I have enough energy to spank him.

Well, you know Lion. He’ll be happy for a spanking before and after, just not during.

By:
In: Spanking, Domestic discipline

We had a very nice long weekend. Mrs. Lion did a bunch of chores around the house. We went out for dinner one night, and she barbecued bratwurst on July Fourth. It was a fun-but-fattening four-day weekend. We watched the New York City fireworks on TV. Spectacular. We’ve given up on the pathetic Seattle display. New York shot off 60,000 fireworks. Seattle is lucky to see 100. For a city that hosts Amazon, Microsoft, T-Mobile, and other big companies, you’d think that one of them could pay for more than the pathetic backyard show Seattle presents each year. To put the cherry on the Seattle pile of crap, the music is usually selected by a local radio station and it is invariably trite and inappropriate for the Fourth.

I’ll stop growling about this city. After all, it has a symphony orchestra, good theater, and a marginal opera company. That’s a hell of a lot more than most places. It’s the only cultural bastion north of San Francisco. The best thing about living here is the climate. We don’t get the violent storms that plague the rest of the country. Our winters are mild, and our summer is generally very pleasant. Right now, we’re getting unusually hot weather. It’s in the 90’s during the day but goes down to the low sixties or high fifties at night.

We didn’t do anything sexual. I wasn’t feeling particularly interested. I’m not sure that the chemically-induced erections aren’t getting in the way. I plan to reduce the dose to see if it might work better to let the drug just get me slightly erect and then allow Mrs. Lion to get me the rest of the way. Since she doesn’t want me to penetrate her, there’s no real need for a rock-hard boner.

Since my interest in sex has declined, it feels like Mrs. Lion’s interest in our disciplinary activity has also faded. I’m pretty sure that I’ve interrupted her more than once. She’s shown a few flares of annoyance but has yet to translate them into a spanking for me. It almost feels like she needs me to be sexually active in order to punish me.

It’s true that when I get frequent spankings, my interest in sex goes up. Could it be that Mrs. Lion’s interest in being my disciplinary wife goes up when I’m more interested in sex? I hope not. That would set up a vicious cycle that would end with no sex and no domestic discipline.

It doesn’t surprise me that this is happening. My ED unbalanced our physical relationship. It isn’t just that I need to inject Trimix to get hard. It’s that I now control the process. In the recent past, Mrs. Lion got me hard when she wanted to give me sexual attention. Now, I get myself hard and present my erection to her. I don’t think this is working all that well for either of us. OK, to be fair I have to say that I have been tinkering with varying doses of the Trimix to get the right result. Now, I think we are close enough. Should Mrs. Lion take over?

my erection routine

The way it’s been working, I decide when I want to give myself an injection. So far, it has always been after I take a shower. I normally shower at about four or five PM. That way, I’m nice and clean when Mrs. Lion finishes work. It made sense for me to do the injection when I get out of the shower. This may not be the optimum time for either of us. It was just a convenient break in my day.

Based on our history, Mrs. Lion prefers to do “things” after dinner. She usually spanks me after she finishes the dinner dishes. She says she will do it earlier but almost always waits until then. This seems like the right time for her. When she controlled my erections, she would wait until after dinner for sex. She never seemed up for much earlier in the evening. Maybe she needs to control the Trimix injections. There’s no reason I need to do them at any particular time.

She could also administer the shots too if she wants. She was with me when the nurse showed me how to inject Trimix. I would be fine with her doing it. I don’t do a great job. My eyes aren’t good, and I often miss the right spot to inject.

It feels like this change has made Mrs. Lion more passive. This could be part of the issue with domestic discipline. Maybe if she got more assertive in either area, the other would benefit. There seems to be a delicate balance that we’ve upset. Apparently, the connection between spanking my bottom and my sex drive also extends to Mrs. Lion’s interest in sexual activity. We’ll have to experiment.