By:
In: Oral Sex, Orgasm

While I was making dinner last night, I felt yucky. My sinuses were hurting but not as bad as they have been. Still, I decided to take some Tylenol to see if I could fend off the yuckiness. I do that when I’m heading out to mow the lawn. If I don’t, sometimes I can’t make it through the whole lawn. I’m happy, and, more importantly, Lion is happy it worked.

Every weekend we seem to shoot ourselves in the foot when it comes to eating. We don’t think about lunch, and either don’t eat at all or eat late. Not eating at all is less of a problem. We eat dinner a bit earlier. However, eating late throws us off. Dinner is then late, and play is late. You’d think we’d figure it out, but we did it again yesterday. I didn’t start making dinner until 7. That actually wasn’t so bad because I still went to do the dishes at 8, which puts us in the same time frame of a weeknight.

Lion has been critiquing my hand jobs lately. I’m not sure I can even call it a hand job. It’s the attention I give my weenie to see if he’s interested in getting hard. It’s not always designed to make a run for the money. Lion has told me he doesn’t like it when I go from 0 to 60 in no time. He says I’m rushing him. With that in mind, I’ve been trying to have a little getting-to-know-you session before I move on. During this stage, Lion gives the helpful advice that he reacts better to up and down motion. Really? You don’t say. And I’ve been jerking him off for how long without realizing that? Huh. Who knew?

At any rate, soon after this suggestion, I had a suggestion of my own. Wouldn’t he react even more to being sucked? I can usually tell how horny he is by how fast he answers me and how fast he extricates himself from the blankets. Talk about 0 to 60 in no time.

I’ve been massaging his balls while I suck. Last night, I decided to tickle them. He loves that when he gets very close, but he also reacts to it early on in the proceedings. I like to reach between his cheeks a bit and trace a line to the bottom of his balls. I think he likes that, but what do I know? I had no idea he reacted better to up and down motion when I jerk him off. (Did you see my eyes rolling?) It still took a while, and I wasn’t sure he’d make it all the way, but he did. I considered stopping short a few times like the good old days of edging, but it’s been hard to tell how close he is, and I didn’t want to jinx things. I was rewarded with creamy Lion filling. He was panting for a while afterward. And here I thought I was doing all the work. I’m glad we have another orgasm in our orgasm experiment. I’m not sure when we’ll go back to edging and making him wait. I’m having fun this way.

Lion said he’s not broken after all. I didn’t think he was. He said I did the other night when he didn’t get all the way. I did not. I assume there will be nights he can’t get far. That doesn’t mean he’s broken. It means it wasn’t time. And it means I get to try again the next day. I love sucking him almost as much as I love giving him orgasms.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Punishment

I think we are moving into a new phase of our female-led activities. For one thing, I’m accepting that reality is very different from my fantasies. Mrs. Lion is never going to be the strict mommy/mistress I initially visualized. She’s my wife and likes me to be her strong, independent husband. That makes sense. It was who she married. Where does that leave our female-led relationship?

The answer is straightforward. We have clearly defined areas of authority that Mrs. Lion strictly enforces. There are just two now: She controls when I get sex of any kind. The other is that I must obey specific rules she has given me. The sexual area has always been a bit fuzzy. Mrs. Lion is very responsive to me when I tell her I am horny. She generally will either tease and edge me or make me ejaculate when I tell her. This gives me considerable control in an area I supposedly surrendered.

I’ve come to realize that if I’m going to truly surrender, I have to stop sending sexual messages. If Mrs. Lion wants to know if I am interested in sex, all she has to do is play with my/her weenie, and it will let her know. There is a risk if I don’t suggest I want sex. She could ignore me entirely. She did that for several years before we started male chastity. Locking me in a chastity device served to remind her that I was completely dependent on her for any sexual activity. With it off, there is no reminder.

There are days when she isn’t feeling very good. Her shoulders can be sore or she has a headache–a real headache. She’s justifiably uninterested in providing sex for me. I can’t argue with that. She needs to take care of herself. The problem is that if I am silent, I think she believes I am uninterested. She can “forget” how much I want sex if I don’t talk about it. In the past, I broke my silence and asked for sex. I didn’t have to do this when I was locked up. The device served as a visual reminder and did a good job of reminding her that she agreed to play at least every other day. [Mrs. Lion — It may have been a visual reminder, but I never actually looked at it and said, “Oh, that’s right. I need to unlock Lion.” I agree that there are times when I can’t remember if we played yesterday or maybe it was the day before, but I don’t think that would change with the cage on.]

Maybe we need to go back to full-time wear. I’m certainly happy to do it. I’m also happy to remain wild. I don’t cheat. It may be that Mrs. Lion will get the benefit of me being locked up. It’s something for her to consider.

The second area of our female-led relationship is obedience. Mrs. Lion has the right and obligation to punish me for anything I do that she feels needs correction. In practice, this comes down to enforcing two rules: no eating before she starts or gives me permission and setting up the coffee pot each day. In practice, the only time I’ve been punished is when I forget the coffee pot.

We both agree that I need more opportunities to earn punishment. We need this, or inertia will set in, and the disciplinary relationship goes by the board. If only I lost connection with my role, Mrs. Lion could correct it with her paddle. We both lose it, and FLR fades until one of us remembers. I think that we never really formed the right habits. She wrote about this yesterday. I think we agree.

By:
In: Domestic discipline, Health and safety

For the past few weeks, I’ve been tired and achy, especially in the afternoon. I’ve had almost nonstop sinus pressure. Part of me wonders if it’s my body adjusting to coming off of the anxiety drug, and part of me wonders if it’s all in my head. I was home all day Thursday, so I can’t blame the afternoon blech on the difference between home environment and work environment. It’s not even just the sinus headache, tiredness, and achiness. For some reason, whatever I eat feels like a brick in my stomach. It seems okay when I eat and turns to a brick afterward. Even the salad we ate last night did it. I’m a mess.

The worst part about being a mess is that it takes time and energy away from Lion. Thursday night, I was able to suck him for a while before he said he wasn’t getting anywhere. I didn’t feel so bad that night. Last night was a different story. If right now is any indication, tonight doesn’t look very good either. I had to lift our portly golden retriever into the car so that she could get a bath. I’ll likely have to lift her in when we pick her up. Neither shoulder is happy about it. I can take some Tylenol later, and that may help the achiness. It has worked before. Maybe I’ll take some with dinner so it will be working by the time we’re ready to go.

Lion is wondering about new rules or even enforcement of the rules already in place. Indeed, I haven’t been enforcing the interrupting or know-it-all issues. I consider his steamrolling a form of know-it-all-ism. He knew the best way to schedule our flights for our trip. He knew the best day to go and return. He knew the best hotel to use. And then he complained when it was so expensive. I went on Expedia and found it cheaper, but he doesn’t trust sites like that. Know-it-all lion.

I don’t want to expend the energy to punish him for those things because I’ve been so tired and achy lately. I need to pick my battles. Why do I say “whatever” when we start to disagree? It’s just not worth it. Unless I have a very strong opinion on a subject, I let it go. At the most, I growl at Lion. He was short with a pharmacy tech a little while ago. I told him to relax. He even complained to the pharmacist about her, and the pharmacist defended her. Beyond that, I didn’t say anything. Maybe I need to find a phrase that I can use in public to let him know he’s getting close to a growl or punishment. It could be as simple as asking him if he’s sure he wants to go there. That’s innocent-sounding enough not to raise any eyebrows. On the other hand, maybe he needs to be shamed in public. I’ll have to think of what that might be.

Maybe Lion has some suggestions. He’s pretty good at coming up with ideas he’ll hate in the long run.

[Lion — I know that Mrs. Lion uses spanking for punishment. Maybe at times, she needs to postpone the punishment, she can just let me know. I think a sort of appetizer punishment like mouth soaping is a way to respond immediately until she is ready to spank me. I agree that it’s important to let me know that trouble is coming. I think the key is that regardless of how she chooses to communicate it, she needs to respond every time she “catches” me. Otherwise, she will never form the disciplinary habits we both want.]

By:
In: Punishment

I spent all day Friday trying to figure out how to get a literary agent. It’s probably impossible, but I really need one. By the time Mrs. Lion got home, I was bleary-eyed from sending emails to agents. I have no hope of success. Perhaps trying to be a novelist is unrealistic. Too bad. I like to write. I’m learning that being a commercially unpublished author is a lot like being an actor: rejection is constant. I need to find something less depressing to do.

Mrs. Lion has pushed back at scolding along with spanking me. I get it. If she continues paddling the way she did a few days ago, she doesn’t need to say a word. The paddle does all the talking for her. I have to be careful not to try to push Mrs. Lion past where she has to be. She needed to learn to disregard my yelps and continue spanking until her point is made. Adding the scold is more me trying to change things when they don’t need fixing. She is thinking about other rules, new or old, to begin enforcing. She agrees that the only one she has been enforcing is that I consistently set up the coffee pot. She agrees this is a low bar. I’m sure she will find new opportunities to catch me.

It’s time for me to shut up and let Mrs. Lion steer the ship alone. I know she is having trouble thinking of rules she wants to enforce. I’m not helping by discussing it with her. I have to trust that she will do it on her own.