By:
In: Hand Jobs, Spanking

Lion wasn’t too happy to see the spanking bench come out last night. I didn’t really think he would be. The only times I’ve seen him excited to get spanked was when we played. Those spankings would start very slow, usually with my hand, and ramp up to harder swats. He liked those spankings. Occasionally he’d wind up with a bruise, but he was able to handle the really hard swats because things built up so slowly. Now my first swats are what my hardest swats used to be. What a difference!

I started with the large-headed paddle. I didn’t hit hard, but it’s a thick paddle, so it generates force easily. When I build up, I’ll sneak a harder swat in now and then. I want him to know what’s coming. After the large paddle, I brought out the heart-shaped paddle made from the same wood. And then, I used the bloodwood ferrule and a rubber paddle.

I got a nice, overall red with some possible bruises and two dots of blood. I had the timer set for twelve minutes, but I was happy with my canvas, so I stopped it. Normally it tells me how much time is left, but it didn’t last night. I have no idea how long it took to achieve my masterpiece, but Lion “complained” about being sore. This morning he says it hurts to sit. Job well done!

After my shower last night, he announced he was ready for action whenever I was. Who said we were doing anything? I could just as easily make him wait. But I wanted to continue with the hand job experiment. (I also probably said I’d be teasing him.) He was hard and making some this-feels-good noises, but then he got soft. It wasn’t a quick thing. I have no idea how long it was, but I’d guess somewhere in the range of ten minutes. It was long enough for my arm to get tired and my fingers to start losing feeling. When we stopped, Lion announced that my hand was not as good as my mouth. I agree!

Tonight we’ll go back to oral sex. I assume he’ll get to the edge. He won’t have an orgasm if I can help it. I want to make him super horny.

By:
In: Sex

Unqualified sex therapist Lion offers advice that may be helpful.

We are taught that love is a precious gift that a man and a woman share from early childhood. As we move to puberty, we are told that sex is reserved for people who love one another. Sex is a gift. The obvious reason our society promotes the connection between love and sex is to protect against disease and unwanted pregnancies. We are protecting them if we can teach our children to avoid sexual contact until they are in a committed relationship.

As we all know, this strategy isn’t very effective. Most of us have sex with partners we don’t end up marrying. That’s fine. The strategy is actually working because it is reducing the number of these contacts. Girls, who have the most to lose since they stand a chance of becoming pregnant, are taught to guard their vaginas like they are gold. Most don’t, but they are more careful. When we finally marry, these concepts are deeply ingrained. Sex is OK. A couple can have all the sex they want. Pregnancy is celebrated. But, there’s a land mine just waiting to explode.

Both partners want sex. We are designed to want it. How much sex we want is highly variable and changes throughout life. If sex is something that both partners need to want before it occurs, someone will be underserved. Since we know that level of desire is unequal, it means that there is always going to be one partner feeling frustrated. Many people deal with this by masturbating as a substitute for two-person sex. If that is satisfactory, balance is maintained.

The big problem occurs when one partner is unhappy or angry. An easy way to display these negative feelings is to withdraw and withhold sex. The emotional gap is widened by a physical one. Masturbation becomes the only sexual outlet. Withholding sex promotes looking for other partners. It decreases the sense of bonding that physical intimacy promotes. Both partners become angry and withdraw further.

Withholding sex is one of the most common ways partners punish one another. I believe it’s the worst thing that can happen. Sex is a physical need. We can live without it but would rather not. We have the ability to provide it for ourselves without a partner. Sex isn’t an emotion. Sure, emotions ride along with it, but it is simply a reproductive function that needs to be satisfied. Nature programs us with sex drives. Satisfying those drives promotes our health.

If sex is a weapon in the battle of the sexes, the wounds can devastate a relationship. Mrs. Lion understands this. When we started our male chastity activities, she refused to punish me for upsetting her by making me wait longer for an orgasm. The same is true with domestic discipline. Just because I get punished (spanked) when I do something wrong doesn’t mean I won’t have sex. Sex isn’t a weapon in our marriage.

Even if we didn’t practice domestic discipline, sex is always off the table as a way to show anger. It may seem odd, but it isn’t. I know what you’re thinking. How can you give him or her an orgasm when you are pissed off. Aren’t you making him/her happy? It’s a good question. However, it isn’t the best question to ask. A better one is, how much damage do I want to do because he/she did something wrong?

If sex is just another physical activity you share, your mate won’t think he/she is off the hook because of sex. I understand that just because Mrs. Lion teases me sexually doesn’t mean she isn’t going to punish me for upsetting her. Her action of having sex with me may not stop her from being angry, but it does remind her of our strong connection with one another.

The first lesson is to learn to have sex on some sort of schedule. That’s not because I want you to make it mechanical. It’s to help you both learn that sex is unrelated to any emotional churn in your lives. You eat no matter what. You have sex for the same reason. It’s a physical need.

The second lesson is how to deal with uneven sex drives. Our marriage is the most extreme example of this. Mrs. Lion has no sex drive, and I am sexually active. As I mentioned earlier, one solution is for the partner who wants more sex to masturbate. I did that for a long time as Mrs. Lion’s interest declined. When she found out, she insisted I stop and never do it again. She felt it was a sort of cheating.

Even if you don’t feel the same way, she has a point. If you are a couple, solitary masturbation is like each of you cooking and eating meals separately. Sure, you can do it for a lifetime, but you are missing something. Mrs. Lion’s solution is simple and brilliant. She masturbates me instead of me doing it myself. She generally substitutes oral sex, but it is the same thing. Even though the sex is for me, we are doing it together.

You don’t have to do it the same way. The key is that sex is always something you do together. He may not be horny, and she is. She doesn’t have to be frustrated. With our system, she lets him know she wants sex. He can get her off any way they decide to do it. Even if masturbation is allowed, it shouldn’t be secret. The other partner can “help.” In a prior relationship, if I wanted sex and she didn’t, my partner would ask me to jerk off. She would tickle my balls while I did it. It was fun and promoted intimacy.

It’s very simple to deweaponize sex: Make it a routine part of life that doesn’t depend on anything more than one or both of you wanting to get off. That’s it. It promotes a very happy relationship.

By:
In: Hand Jobs, Spanking

Today is punishment day. Lion hasn’t earned any punishment. However, I delayed Monday’s “just because” swats in return for adding two minutes to the timer. When I canceled Monday’s spanking altogether, I never said the two minutes were forgiven. Uh oh.

We’re both still exhausted, but we have to get back on track. We set up the “just because” swats so we could both stay in practice. I don’t even think it really needs to be a gung ho event. We just need to do it. I mean, I don’t necessarily have to bruise his butt. I don’t technically even have to do a full ten minutes. I think what’s important is that we do it. Just do it. Get back on the horse. (Wouldn’t being on a horse feel extra special ouchy after a good spanking?)

One thing we did was a good portion of a hand job. I made sure to get to Lion before I took a shower so he wouldn’t have time to snooze so we got started a little earlier than usual. When I’m snuggled in beside him, my hand is at a similar angle to his. I’m able to hit all the good spots just right. When I inevitably have to sit up, the angle changes. I won’t say it completely threw him off, but I have to consider that and adjust my grip.

We were going along great. Lion was getting harder and making encouraging noises. Then there were the unmistakable I’m-getting-into-something-I-shouldn’t-be-in noises from the dog under the bed. I ignored it for a bit. Then I decided it needed to be investigated. We don’t want her chewing through wires again. I went to find something to impede her progress. After I’d been messing around for a while, Lion asked if it was just an intermission or if I was done with him. I was frustrated trying to get things covered and/or cordoned off. He can’t help, so he was not in the way in the way, and I probably could have used some help, even if it was just to keep the damn puppy from biting me. I decided I was done with Lion. I know he wasn’t happy, but neither was I. I’d much rather be jerking him off than building a fortress.

After my shower, Lion made it clear that he was ready for round two. He said it multiple times. Hint, hint. I wasn’t up for it, though. And a little while later, he was snoozing anyway. We’ll try again tonight, after his spanking, of course.

By:
In: Edging

Since February 2020, over 90 percent of my orgasms were in Mrs. Lion’s mouth. This is an astounding change from the past. Before then, over 90 percent were handjobs. This change is also true of non-orgasmic teasing sessions. Mrs. Lion uses her mouth almost exclusively for them too. For the record, my last vaginal encounter was in March of 2018.

I’m not complaining. What guy turns down a blow job? The change is due to two related issues: Mrs. Lion’s shoulder has been hurting when she tries to jerk me off, and I haven’t been successful in getting to the edge when she uses her hand. The solution was to change up and use her mouth. She doesn’t mind. I will never understand it, but she likes the taste of my semen. A blow job gives her the freshest delivery.

On Wednesday night Mrs. Lion played with my penis. She used her hand with the masturbatory moves I like. I was hard almost instantly. I was having a very good time when she stopped. Bummer. This is very unusual for me. Maybe it was because I had been waiting ten days, and Mrs. Lion was too tired to tease me for more than half of them. Or, it could be that I’m getting resensitized to manual stimulation.

That would be an interesting development. Is it possible that I want the change to Mrs. Lion’s hand after months and months of blow jobs? I don’t know. I’m not going to get carried away. Let’s leave it with my extreme pleasure at the way I was handled. It was a surprising change of pace. I liked it!

We still seem stuck in a pattern where sexual/BDSM activity starts after all other stuff has been done. No wonder we are tired at playtime. Mrs. Lion wrote that she was going to slot me in earlier. Eleven-week-old puppy torpedos her efforts. The same tiredness has kept me off the spanking bench as well. I’m not complaining about that, of course, but it isn’t good for that activity to slip as well.

Mrs. Lion suggested that maybe we have a mild case of COVID. We are both fully vaccinated, but we can’t explain why we are so tired. I doubt that we are sick. There are no other symptoms. It could be that interrupted sleep and a rambunctious puppy are to blame. We agree that we have to push through and get things back on track.

If Mrs. Lion continues to have success with her hand and her shoulder doesn’t start aching, I wonder if she will start mixing things up and using her hand instead of her mouth. I love any attention she gives me.  Well, almost any attention.