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In: BDSM

Another day in paradise! I’m still struggling with knotty plot issues in my newest book. Writing is very hard work. Mrs. Lion is wondering about the state of my libido. It varies widely depending on what time you ask me. I’m usually a lot more consistent. She is threatening Icy Hot if I am under the covers. I will brave the cold bedroom to avoid burning balls.

I’m not sure why she likes applying that stuff to my nether regions. She isn’t the first. Way back when my girlfriend and I were discovering BDSM, she did independent research. One afternoon, she tied me face-down on the bed. Then she administered her customary spanking. She did like to see me squirm. When she was done, she didn’t release me or turn me over. Instead, I felt her gently massaging my balls. “How nice,” I thought. A little bit later, my balls started feeling hot. About the same time the heat was building up, I could smell it. She applied Ben Gay to my balls.

Then, as now, it got very intense. I really started squirming. She found that very amusing. I didn’t, but she didn’t ask me if I did or not. I made some noise that clearly communicated my discomfort. That was even more entertaining. Geeze! After a very long while, the heat subsided, and she cleaned me off with a warm washcloth.

The funny thing is that as the memory of the pain faded, my desire to experience it again increased. That made no sense at the time and, for that matter, still doesn’t. It seems that there is something about being forced to endure something uncomfortable that turns me on. That’s certainly true of spanking as well as Icy Hot. I suppose that’s why it’s called “kinky.”

I find it interesting that just because it turns me on to think about these things, nothing is taken away from the discomfort I suffer. There is a caveat to that: If I am aroused and sexually stimulated at the time, my pain tolerance goes way up. It becomes much easier to endure burning balls if Mrs. Lion is jerking me off after application. The same is true of clothespins on the balls as well.

My original playmate didn’t try to turn me on after putting the Ben Gay on my balls. She wanted me to feel the full effect. Mrs. Lion has no interest in helping me handle the pain of a spanking. She wants it felt as much as possible. What a sweetie!

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In: Mrs Lion Comments

This morning I took the fat dog to the vet. She’s been a bit lethargic on and off. Maybe the blood work will show something. Until then, we’ll give her anti-inflammatories. Of course, we’ll have to stop feeding her table scraps. She’d like a second opinion.

While I was in the shower last night, I was plotting Lion’s demise by asking if he was cold since he was cocooned in blankets. If he said yes, I was going to tell him that IcyHot would warm him up. If he said no, I was going to tie his balls up. Then I sat down and didn’t feel like doing anything so I moved over and we snuggled. I wasn’t tired or achy. Some muscles in my back have been cramping but nothing serious. I just felt like snuggling and that’s all. Luckily, Lion loves to snuggle too.

I’ll probably start testing the waters to see if he’s horny yet. He doesn’t have to be horny at all for butt plugs or just because spankings. Technically he doesn’t even have to be horny to have his balls tied, but it’s more fun if he’s hard – for both of us. I don’t know when he normally gets horny after an orgasm. Lately Lion has been feeling like he’s taking advantage of me and that’s been getting in the way of horniness. I hope we finally have that worked out. I look forward to a Lion weather report.

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In: Domestic discipline

Every so often, I try to step out of my skin and look at myself as someone who doesn’t share my sensibilities might see me. My relationship with Mrs. Lion would cause laughter and head shakes. Why would a grown man let his wife punish him? How in the world does he let her decide if or when he can ejaculate?

I realize that if someone plops into this blog and reads about what we do, there will be some serious culture shock. Even if a dyed-in-the-wool BDSM player reads us, he or she will understand the reason for the sexual and sensation play but will find it difficult to imagine doing it as a lifestyle. Some of the most skilled and vicious spankers only do it during scenes. It’s never seriously coupled with the idea of punishment.

We do take domestic discipline seriously. We don’t have a “contract” that is more about sex than discipline. Our agreement is very simple. I agree to accept punishment for anything I do that Mrs. Lion considers an offense. That’s it. Case closed. In practice, it’s not a blind autocracy. Mrs. Lion discusses rules she intends to enforce. Frequently, infractions don’t lead to spankings. Ironically, the most trivial offenses always result in painful spankings. For example, if I forget to set up the coffee pot or get food on my shirt, Mrs. Lion is merciless. But if I interrupt her or act like a know-it-all, I rarely see her paddle.

She agrees that those offenses are more serious and do deserve spankings. It’s been difficult for her to make the connection between my offense and punishing me. I can’t say that I actually want to be punished, but I sincerely believe consistent punishment for these offenses would benefit me greatly.

If you are that vanilla person just discovering us, that is the main reason we practice serious domestic discipline. I actually learn and change as a result of consistent punishment. There’s a second important reason we do this. Mrs. Lion has a real voice when it comes to me and our marriage. She has an effective tool for positive change. It works, as she might say, eventually. Sooner or later, I will change.

In the meantime, she knows I understand her displeasure. It may be possible to tune out a complaining wife. It is absolutely impossible to ignore ten minutes of hard spanking with a paddle. The echoes of the spanking are felt for days. Yes, Mrs. Lion, I hear you. Punishing me doesn’t guarantee I won’t repeat the offense. Consistently punishing me will eventually cause me to change.

There is a big misunderstanding about adult punishment. I don’t change because I am afraid of Mrs. Lion. Fear isn’t what keeps me under control. It’s an understanding on some deep level that I am happier and more comfortable if I do what she wants. The benefits aren’t necessarily permanent. I tend to “forget” after a while. If I offend, I get a painful reminder.

This may seem crazy, but it works. It also brings us closer. Mrs. Lion has a readily available tool to express her displeasure and teach me to be a better man. We don’t have angry silences. Mrs. Lion doesn’t have to raise her voice when she’s upset. I raise mine when she paddles my bottom.

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In: Mrs Lion Comments

We have adjustable beds. There is a fairly big gap between them. Lion says he hates it because it stops us from sleeping closer together. We can get something to bridge the gap, but I think it’s just a piece of rubber, and, for us, it would be on top of the sheets. Besides that, it would flop around because we’re not always at the same height.

All of this is a moot point anyway. Last night, as we started to fall asleep, I reached across the gap and touched Lion. He said it was nice, but he needed to roll over to sleep on his other side. Since before I moved in with him, Lion has had a king-size bed. He always slept right on the edge. If he had rolled slightly more, he would have been on the floor. The dog loved this because she could slurp his face first thing in the morning. He’s gotten a little better in the past few years. He does not teeter on the edge now. But he still sleeps pretty far away from me.

The other issue keeping us from sleeping closer is the fact that he’s a furnace. He cocoons himself in blankets, and he churns out so much heat I can’t be near him. I usually sleep with one leg out or even no blankets. Even if I wanted to leap across the great divide, I’d spontaneously combust. This also comes into play when we snuggle. If he’s under the blankets, I have to keep most of me out from under the blankets, or I’ll get too hot.

There are times that Lion sleeps on his back during the night. He’s even been known to face me at times. If I’m awake to realize it, I do reach out to touch him. I don’t know if he’s aware of it. It’s just nice to be close.