Every so often, I try to step out of my skin and look at myself as someone who doesn’t share my sensibilities might see me. My relationship with Mrs. Lion would cause laughter and head shakes. Why would a grown man let his wife punish him? How in the world does he let her decide if or when he can ejaculate?
I realize that if someone plops into this blog and reads about what we do, there will be some serious culture shock. Even if a dyed-in-the-wool BDSM player reads us, he or she will understand the reason for the sexual and sensation play but will find it difficult to imagine doing it as a lifestyle. Some of the most skilled and vicious spankers only do it during scenes. It’s never seriously coupled with the idea of punishment.
We do take domestic discipline seriously. We don’t have a “contract” that is more about sex than discipline. Our agreement is very simple. I agree to accept punishment for anything I do that Mrs. Lion considers an offense. That’s it. Case closed. In practice, it’s not a blind autocracy. Mrs. Lion discusses rules she intends to enforce. Frequently, infractions don’t lead to spankings. Ironically, the most trivial offenses always result in painful spankings. For example, if I forget to set up the coffee pot or get food on my shirt, Mrs. Lion is merciless. But if I interrupt her or act like a know-it-all, I rarely see her paddle.
She agrees that those offenses are more serious and do deserve spankings. It’s been difficult for her to make the connection between my offense and punishing me. I can’t say that I actually want to be punished, but I sincerely believe consistent punishment for these offenses would benefit me greatly.
If you are that vanilla person just discovering us, that is the main reason we practice serious domestic discipline. I actually learn and change as a result of consistent punishment. There’s a second important reason we do this. Mrs. Lion has a real voice when it comes to me and our marriage. She has an effective tool for positive change. It works, as she might say, eventually. Sooner or later, I will change.
In the meantime, she knows I understand her displeasure. It may be possible to tune out a complaining wife. It is absolutely impossible to ignore ten minutes of hard spanking with a paddle. The echoes of the spanking are felt for days. Yes, Mrs. Lion, I hear you. Punishing me doesn’t guarantee I won’t repeat the offense. Consistently punishing me will eventually cause me to change.
There is a big misunderstanding about adult punishment. I don’t change because I am afraid of Mrs. Lion. Fear isn’t what keeps me under control. It’s an understanding on some deep level that I am happier and more comfortable if I do what she wants. The benefits aren’t necessarily permanent. I tend to “forget” after a while. If I offend, I get a painful reminder.
This may seem crazy, but it works. It also brings us closer. Mrs. Lion has a readily available tool to express her displeasure and teach me to be a better man. We don’t have angry silences. Mrs. Lion doesn’t have to raise her voice when she’s upset. I raise mine when she paddles my bottom.