My Turn To Feel

Now I know how Mrs. Lion felt when I asked her to learn to punish me. It was awkward for her and not very effective in the beginning. Since we’ve decided to try to jumpstart Mrs. Lion’s libido, I am struggling with how to initiate sex with her. As she said in her post yesterday, my attempts are clumsy. Actually, I think she was being kind. I’m a total lout at this point. I suppose it’s the lion in me that makes me so unromantic. The truth is I’ve never been good at the subtle approach. Mrs. Lion knows this and is wonderfully tolerant.

I realize that she doesn’t actually want sex. She is willing to endure it. I suppose she knows I really want to be able to please her and she remembers how good it was before. Since she can have orgasms, I think it’s not a bad idea that she get them. She may not anticipate them with excitement, but at least she enjoys them.

My approach so far has been to ask her flat out, “Are you interested in sex.” If she answers affirmatively, I commence some sexual touching of her legs and thighs, and I kiss her. She doesn’t react at this point. That means I don’t get any positive or negative feedback to help direct my attentions. This is very much like what happened in the beginning with our Female Led Relationship with Discipline. Mrs. Lion created relatively trivial rules and it then took time to learn to observe breaches and punish them. I provided as much feedback as I could.

Much of the feedback appeared in my posts. It seems that much of Mrs. Lion’s sexual feedback to me is also being transmitted via the blog. I’m fine with that. It’s effective and tried-and-true. My approach for initiation is almost identical in character to her enforcement of my spilling-food-on-my-shirt rule. When I do it, it’s greeted by a little grin from Mrs. Lion. That signals me that she’s noticed it and my bottom will be burning soon. I suppose we need to work out a similar sort of signal when I approach her in my clumsy way. Right now I ask her flat out. I think perhaps we could work on a more subtle approach. I guess I’ll ask her later.

She mentioned that recently when she jerks me off, I haven’t been able to reach the edge several times now. It’s true. I get excited and hard and enjoy the attention, but after a while I just stop feeling aroused. I can’t explain why this happens. Mrs. Lion suggested that it’s because the hour is late and I’m not particularly good much past 10 o’clock. I think it’s almost identical to the way Mrs. Lion feels when I start trying to give her an orgasm.

I just haven’t been anticipating being aroused and hard and brought to the edge. I don’t know why, but I just haven’t been thinking much about that. Maybe I need a little preliminary activity too. You know, some verbal teasing maybe a little sneaky weenie rubbing, it’s the sort of stuff that sets the mood. Lately, I ask Mrs. Lion if she wants to do anything, when it starts getting late and she hasn’t made a move toward me, which is about as romantic as what I do with her, or she’ll come over and just start playing with my penis. Either way, it doesn’t feel very exciting to me. It’s almost perfunctory. I think we have to be more aware of each other’s need for stimulation in advance of the sexual activity. We have to let each other know what would get our motors going.

Mrs. Lion still hasn’t put me into the prickly jockstrap. We were way too busy this weekend and I think it probably slipped her mind. Speaking of that, I think the secret of restoring me to my typical horny mode is to somehow avoid “forgetting” activities that may have been discussed. It also helps me a lot if Mrs. Lion surprises me. You know, out of the blue playing with me and getting me hard and then bringing out the clothespins or rope. Any sort of stuff that’s sexual, other than a direct “go for the gold” approach.

I will be getting a new 3D-printed chastity device in the next few weeks. If Mrs. Lion doesn’t decide to lock me up before then, I will need to be locked up in order to give the device a fair test. I kind of hope she will get me back into a chastity device sooner. It helps slow her down a bit when she decides to tease me. I think it might give her a little extra time to consider the kind of foreplay that would work for me. It also reinforces both of our feelings about her sexual control of me.

We both have to become more aware of each other sexually. It feels mechanical the way things are going now. I realize that my handling of restoring Mrs. Lion’s libido is horribly mechanical. I’m going to work on it, but I need her help. I guess I need verbal and nonverbal encouragement. It’s been a long time since I’ve initiated (actually, I don’t think I’ve ever been a good initiator), so I need to learn the same way Mrs. Lion learned to discipline me.

Speaking of that, it’s been more than two days since my last spanking and I still feel the one I got then. I still have leathery spots on my butt that hurt when I sit on them. I think we can say that Mrs. Lion is definitely an effective disciplinarian. Congratulations! Clearly, I’m going to have to take punishment much more seriously.

1 Comment

  1. I remember that initially you were anxious about getting enough sexual attention when you first began with chastity. You wanted to be played with regularly as well as denied.

    Maybe Mrs Lion is similar to you.

    Maybe she’d would benefit from regular sexual attention (“some sexual touching of her legs and thighs, and I kiss her”) without orgasm being prescribed. Maybe the gravity of initiating or deciding should be postponed until after she’s gotten some attention, had some time to enjoy, feel the pull of interest and weigh it against the pull of other things.

    I’m unqualified to offer advice. I’m interested in how you two continue to explore your ways of being sexual together. Thanks for sharing.

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