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In: Lion's Journal, Sex

Male chastity is one of the most misunderstood sexual practices around. The word “chastity” means “no sex” to a lot of people. You know, the word invokes images of women locked in chastity belts kept “pure” for their husbands. It has little or no context to most people when it refers to men. So, you can imagine how confusing mentioning male chastity can be to people who aren’t aware of it.

The reality is that the term is probably a poor choice for the practice. But, we are stuck with it. Males are built very differently from females in terms of sex. It goes way beyond the basic physical differences. For one thing, a man’s ability to have orgasms is dependent on his ability to create semen. Even men, like me lately, who don’t produce much or any semen, still cycle around semen production. The amount of time it takes to generate a new supply is called the refractory period. This varies from as little as a few minutes in a pubescent boy, to many days for a senior citizen.

Women have no such limitations. Most women are capable of having as many orgasms as they want as often as they like. That doesn’t mean that every woman wants to spend several hours a day having orgasms. But they can.

We males have to ration ours. At this point in my life I can have an orgasm every day, but it’s difficult and not as much fun as I like. I’m happier if there’s more of a wait. The numbers may be different for different individuals, but male orgasms are coupled with ejaculations, which in turn take time to replenish.

The main point is that for most men orgasm is a singular event separated by some waiting before the next one. Most guys accept this and live with it throughout their lives. By the way, it doesn’t matter if the orgasm is generated with a partner or through masturbation. The same rules apply.

Male chastity puts a new spin on this. It turns out that many men, me especially included, really enjoy arousal. It’s exciting and fun to get hard and approach ejaculation without reaching it. Some cultures call this Tantric sex and ejaculation is never achieved. That’s not the way we play it.

A lot of women don’t realize just how much fun they can give us if they resist letting us ejaculate. When they were younger and dating, they were led to believe that it was wrong or unfair to tease a man and then not let him ejaculate. The popular wisdom is that you get a guy hard you owe him the rest of the process right through ejaculation.

Male chastity, of course, expects the man’s partner to prevent him from ejaculating. He’s allowed to be teased right to the very edge of coming. In fact, that’s a good thing. It’s just the opposite of what we learned when we were younger. I was taught that if my partner arouses me, she is most likely going to make sure that one way or another I will ejaculate. The fact that male chastity is essentially the opposite of this, is one reason why people consider it perverse and weird. In cultures that practice Tantric sex, the idea of bringing a man to ejaculation recreationally makes no sense. Ejaculation is reserved for reproduction.

Very often, male chastity is considered a form of submission. Logically, you could come to that conclusion because the mail surrenders control of his own orgasms to his partner. That’s certainly sexually submissive. But it’s also a lot of fun.

With male chastity, sex takes on some new, exciting color. For one thing, I don’t expect an orgasm no matter how excited Mrs. Lion makes me. She will bring me to the edge of orgasm 40 or 50 times over many days. If I’m lucky, at one point she will push me over the edge and I will ejaculate. It’s a special moment! When I masturbated, ejaculation was the messy ending of a process I initiated and was assured of the outcome. I am never sure whether or not I will get an orgasm now. Mrs. Lion can stimulate me with her hands or her mouth and stop when I’d just feel ready to explode. She can let me hump her hand and let me get more and more aroused pumping harder and faster. Then, when I can feel the orgasm start, she’ll open her hand and I’ll be humping air.

Sound frustrating? It is. But it’s also big fun. Just imagine, for me the process of having sex to orgasm can take a week or more. Every day, or nearly every day, Mrs. Lion teases me and brings me to the edge of orgasm over and over. Almost every day, she leaves me panting with my penis waving in the breeze. She waits until I calm down, we don’t want any accidents, then kisses the tip of my penis and that’s it for the night.

She never lets me know when she’s going to keep stimulating me until I finally ejaculate. Does this sound like fun to you? It is for me.

I really don’t think you could call this chastity. After all, the word chastity implies a lack of sex. I get an amazing amount of sex. I just don’t get very frequent opportunities to have an orgasm. I think it’s a very narrow definition of sex to limit it to just when I ejaculate. I think it has to count when Mrs. Lion manipulates my penis and stimulates me within a stroke or two of an orgasm. That’s sex! But we call it male chastity. Go figure.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion went to the doctor on Friday. Sunday night the dog got sick. Monday, Lion went to a different doctor. Tuesday I set up an appointment to look at a house. And Wednesday Lion needs to go to yet a different doctor. Busy much?

I’m hoping the house we see tonight will be nice enough that we’ll just take it. I know that’s a big ask. I just need something to go our way. I already have plans to pack the truck full of stuff at night to drop off after work the next day. Yes, I know. I’m putting all my eggs in one basket. I’m counting my chickens before they’re hatched. Stupid chickens!

The dog seemed a little better last night. I’m still worried about her. It could have been something as simple as the heat on Sunday. She spent a lot of time on the deck with us. If not, we’ll have a vet visit in our future. Not that we have time for that, but we’ll do what we have to do.

In between laundry, changing the bed, making dinner, and whatever else I had to do, I remembered to spank Lion. He said he was fine if I wanted to take another day off. I didn’t. It’s been a few days already. He still has two more days left to this round of punishments. If we’re not careful, he’ll break more rules and he’ll never be done.

I’ve suspended Saturday punishment days until things calm down a bit. I’ve also told him that I’ll suspend the food-spilling rule if we go back to Applebee’s for their all-you-can-eat rib dinner. I can be nice sometimes. I don’t want him to miss out on ribs because he’s afraid of spilling.

By the time I was done with the laundry and changing the bed, it was late. I didn’t think Lion had much hope of being excited but I gave it a try. Sometimes he surprises me. He agreed it was too late but playing with him felt good. I liked it too. Tonight is another night. We’ll try again.

By:
In: Chastity hardware, Edging, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

Most people involved with male chastity think of it primarily in terms of locking a chastity device on a man’s penis. They think of orgasm control/denial as a BDSM activity. I don’t think male chastity, even enforced male chastity, is a hardware conversation.

Let’s face it, we males are the ones who suggest this practice to our potential keyholder. Look at that! The term for the person enforcing our chastity is a “keyholder”. That certainly strongly suggests that there is a lock involved. There certainly could be. And most of us guys who introduced it definitely want that hardware locked around our family jewels. But the truth is male chastity, whatever the flavor, is an exercise in male orgasm denial and control.

The most typical reason guys give for wanting to be locked in a chastity device is that they can’t control their desire to masturbate. Without hardware, hopefully very secure hardware, they can’t keep their hands off their penises. I doubt many women buy this story. It seems to me that very few women would choose to be in any sort of relationship with a man so weak willed.

Wearing a chastity device is the fun part of the game. Those of us who like them, enjoy the bondage the devices provide. There’s nothing at all wrong with this. Just don’t confuse it with male chastity. Male chastity is a very simple concept: It is simply about turning over control of ejaculation to another person. When I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me in a chastity device, I was really asking her to do two things: 1. Lock my penis in a chastity device and keep the key away from me. 2. Take 100% control of when I get to ejaculate.

While those two things may work well together, they’re very different from one another. It’s true that if my penis is locked in a device that prevents sexual activity, whoever has the key controls when it will be available to me or anyone else for sexual activity. However, if I’ve agreed to turn over sexual control to Mrs. Lion, it doesn’t matter whether my penis is locked in a device or not. I’ve given her control and I’m an adult who keeps his promises.

I think that most guys figure this out after the novelty of being locked in a chastity device wears down a little bit. For one reason or another they get unlocked and realize that just because there’s no hardware preventing sexual contact, nothing really changes. The point finally sinks in that the real contract is about sex, not about padlocks and chastity devices. That’s one reason why I think it’s silly to worry about security in a chastity device. What truly locks up your penis is an agreement to keep your hands off.

The only difference for me is that when I’m in a device, I can’t get hard. Otherwise, everything is the same. Mrs. Lion feels perfectly safe edging me over and over without worrying that once she stops and turns her back, I won’t finish the job myself. I absolutely won’t.

If you think about it, separating the hardware from the chastity could make it much easier to get started in this very exotic practice we share. Instead of convincing your partner to lock your penis in a piece of odd- looking hardware, you simply ask her to take over control of your sexual pleasure. No doubt, this will take considerable explaining, but the conversation has to be a lot less difficult than introducing a male chastity device.

I would imagine that surrendering sexual control to your partner will sound like sexy fun. After all, it is a sort of game. When you suggest to her that you will continue supplying her with all the sexual pleasures she wants without requiring her to do anything sexual for you, the topic may seem considerably more interesting to her. If you go on to say that you welcome her teasing you and frustrating you. She may shake her head at your nuttiness but she’ll probably enjoy the possibilities.

She may need some explanation about what constitutes “teasing”, but I suspect she’ll find the idea either fun or funny or both. In any case, you probably have a much better chance of convincing her to play the game this way, then you would if you introduced the hardware as well.

I know that there are people who prefer “orgasm denial” to “orgasm control”. Unless you never plan to come again, orgasm control is a much more accurate description of what you’re doing. The idea is to get basic agreement. I’m sure she’ll wonder how long you expect her to make you wait. In the beginning, the best idea is moderation. Maybe suggest a week or so. Let her know that you would really enjoy getting more and more horny as you wait for her decision to give you relief.

You can also explain that it will be exquisitely difficult to provide her with orgasm after orgasm while your penis is waving in the breeze. In this respect wearing no device is an advantage. She can see your frustration. She can make it worse. Mrs. Lion loves doing that. She has free and immediate access to something that used to be fun for you to touch but now is just for her.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that the hardware actually takes some of the fun out of male chastity. Think about it. There is little satisfaction for your partner knowing that she’s locked the steel cage around your penis. How much more fun as it to see you hard and struggling to keep your hands off her property? Don’t believe me? Ask your wife. Which is more fun: Locking your penis in a cage or training you to keep your hands to yourself no matter how frustrated and horny you get?

What do you think she’s going to answer? Maybe Mrs. Lion will give you her answer as a comment attached to this post.

By:
In: Lion's Journal

The two most difficult things for me to manage are health problems and moving. Both can make me temporarily psychotic. So naturally, I’m facing both right now. My vision is continuing to decline from glaucoma and our landlord has informed us we have to vacate by the end of September. The last time we moved was about 14 years ago when we came west from New York.

To top things off, I’m suffering some nerve pain from my surgery in March. Both drugs I can take for this have depression as a side effect. Mrs. Lion has been great through all of this. She’s searching for a new place for us to live. Everything’s more expensive than where we are now. As long as I can keep my job, that won’t be a problem. The big question in my mind is how long I can keep doing my job if things continue to deteriorate.

I’m writing this post on Sunday afternoon. Last night (Saturday), we were both too tired to do much. Mrs. Lion wasn’t up to delivering a spanking and I had no interest in sex. Tonight, I’m pretty sure I’ll get the next spanking I am owed and Mrs. Lion will edge me. We rarely go off our routines for more than a day.

Meanwhile, we’ll keep searching for a new place to live and I’ll head over to the ophthalmologist to see if we can’t do something to prevent me from becoming a blind old lion.