It’s Anything But Chastity

Male chastity is one of the most misunderstood sexual practices around. The word “chastity” means “no sex” to a lot of people. You know, the word invokes images of women locked in chastity belts kept “pure” for their husbands. It has little or no context to most people when it refers to men. So, you can imagine how confusing mentioning male chastity can be to people who aren’t aware of it.

The reality is that the term is probably a poor choice for the practice. But, we are stuck with it. Males are built very differently from females in terms of sex. It goes way beyond the basic physical differences. For one thing, a man’s ability to have orgasms is dependent on his ability to create semen. Even men, like me lately, who don’t produce much or any semen, still cycle around semen production. The amount of time it takes to generate a new supply is called the refractory period. This varies from as little as a few minutes in a pubescent boy, to many days for a senior citizen.

Women have no such limitations. Most women are capable of having as many orgasms as they want as often as they like. That doesn’t mean that every woman wants to spend several hours a day having orgasms. But they can.

We males have to ration ours. At this point in my life I can have an orgasm every day, but it’s difficult and not as much fun as I like. I’m happier if there’s more of a wait. The numbers may be different for different individuals, but male orgasms are coupled with ejaculations, which in turn take time to replenish.

The main point is that for most men orgasm is a singular event separated by some waiting before the next one. Most guys accept this and live with it throughout their lives. By the way, it doesn’t matter if the orgasm is generated with a partner or through masturbation. The same rules apply.

Male chastity puts a new spin on this. It turns out that many men, me especially included, really enjoy arousal. It’s exciting and fun to get hard and approach ejaculation without reaching it. Some cultures call this Tantric sex and ejaculation is never achieved. That’s not the way we play it.

A lot of women don’t realize just how much fun they can give us if they resist letting us ejaculate. When they were younger and dating, they were led to believe that it was wrong or unfair to tease a man and then not let him ejaculate. The popular wisdom is that you get a guy hard you owe him the rest of the process right through ejaculation.

Male chastity, of course, expects the man’s partner to prevent him from ejaculating. He’s allowed to be teased right to the very edge of coming. In fact, that’s a good thing. It’s just the opposite of what we learned when we were younger. I was taught that if my partner arouses me, she is most likely going to make sure that one way or another I will ejaculate. The fact that male chastity is essentially the opposite of this, is one reason why people consider it perverse and weird. In cultures that practice Tantric sex, the idea of bringing a man to ejaculation recreationally makes no sense. Ejaculation is reserved for reproduction.

Very often, male chastity is considered a form of submission. Logically, you could come to that conclusion because the mail surrenders control of his own orgasms to his partner. That’s certainly sexually submissive. But it’s also a lot of fun.

With male chastity, sex takes on some new, exciting color. For one thing, I don’t expect an orgasm no matter how excited Mrs. Lion makes me. She will bring me to the edge of orgasm 40 or 50 times over many days. If I’m lucky, at one point she will push me over the edge and I will ejaculate. It’s a special moment! When I masturbated, ejaculation was the messy ending of a process I initiated and was assured of the outcome. I am never sure whether or not I will get an orgasm now. Mrs. Lion can stimulate me with her hands or her mouth and stop when I’d just feel ready to explode. She can let me hump her hand and let me get more and more aroused pumping harder and faster. Then, when I can feel the orgasm start, she’ll open her hand and I’ll be humping air.

Sound frustrating? It is. But it’s also big fun. Just imagine, for me the process of having sex to orgasm can take a week or more. Every day, or nearly every day, Mrs. Lion teases me and brings me to the edge of orgasm over and over. Almost every day, she leaves me panting with my penis waving in the breeze. She waits until I calm down, we don’t want any accidents, then kisses the tip of my penis and that’s it for the night.

She never lets me know when she’s going to keep stimulating me until I finally ejaculate. Does this sound like fun to you? It is for me.

I really don’t think you could call this chastity. After all, the word chastity implies a lack of sex. I get an amazing amount of sex. I just don’t get very frequent opportunities to have an orgasm. I think it’s a very narrow definition of sex to limit it to just when I ejaculate. I think it has to count when Mrs. Lion manipulates my penis and stimulates me within a stroke or two of an orgasm. That’s sex! But we call it male chastity. Go figure.


  1. I have a post started where I’m talking about chastity and male caging. One of these days I’ll finish it and post it. But your points do indeed make a lot of sense.

  2. Orgasms are separated by the waiting for the next one. A fine description

    1. Author

      Thank you.

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