I’ve been looking on my iPad for rentals. It’s amazing how long I can play games without my eyes hurting, but having to read descriptions and look at pictures is bothering me. This morning I made a comment that I’m tired of looking for now and Lion said we only drove by three houses. Some clarification was in order.

I woke up around 7 this morning so we could go tour a house we found yesterday. It’s on a lake. It’s also an hour away from our offices, in moderate traffic, which it never is. Since neither of us slept well, and we decided we hated the idea of that commute, we cancelled the tour. It’s going to be difficult to find a place that takes pets, has room for the RV, isn’t out of our price range and doesn’t have a horrible commute. Oh, yes. And Lion is still having trouble with stairs. Actually, even though Lion works from home more often than not, I don’t mind a longer commute to my job. Although, since I work in a small town, I might be able to find a better job if we’re closer to civilization.

Today we’re having my friend over for dinner. Quite coincidentally, she was told by her landlord she had 30 days to move out but that happened in November with holidays coming up and who wants to look for a house then? She managed to do it though. I’m hoping she can give us some tips. She also knows the area far better than we do so she’ll be able to tell us the areas to avoid.

On Friday night, I edged Lion and then left him wild. Yesterday we did some recon for three houses, took the dog for her bath and picked her up. I made dinner and looked for more houses. I was shot by 9. When we tried to snuggle, Lion was cold and wanted to be under the covers. I was hot. Thus ended our snuggling. I didn’t even spank him. I’m hoping we’ll have the energy to do it tonight.

This morning, Lion confessed that he forgot to tell me yesterday was punishment day. Geez! Another two days of swats for him. He doesn’t know why he keeps forgetting. I forgot too. And it’s making me wonder if I shouldn’t just suspend Saturday punishment day until we get our housing sorted out. Who needs one more thing to remember when you might be living in a cardboard box soon? Going forward, Saturday punishment day is on hold until further notice. I still owe him for previous infractions. Maybe we’ll be caught up with them by the time we find a new place. I’ve lost track of how many days I owe him. I’ll just keep hitting until he tells me I’m done. He’s an honest boy. I’m sure he’s been keeping track.

[Lion — If I’m spanked tonight, I will be caught up with the old sentence after another spanking tomorrow. Add two more days, and I’ll be done on Wednesday.]

my bruised butt
Mrs. Lion has bruised me as you can see here. However, when she tells me she’s going to bruise me, very often it doesn’t happen. She needs a reliable method.

I guess you can think about spanking paddles the way you think about golf clubs. The thick wood one with holes is perfect for driving home the point. The long handled spoon shaped paddle is like a putter. It puts the message exactly where you will need it to go. You get the analogy.

The reason I thought about this is that after my spanking on Friday night, the seventh of nine then I am due, I noticed that Mrs. Lion was using yet a different paddle. I asked her why she kept switching. She uses a different one almost every night lately. She told me that she wanted me to have variety; different feelings.

I sighed and explained that depending on how hard she hits, they all hurt, some more some less. I’m not going to become a connoisseur of a particular spanking instrument; at least when I’m on the receiving end. We didn’t discuss it further. I wondered if she wasn’t doing herself a little disservice. Given the large number of daily spankings I’ve managed to earn, it might have given her a chance to perfect her technique with one or two favorite tools. On the other hand, it may make little difference to her which one she uses.

I have a couple of un-favorites. Her conveyor belt strap is probably the most painful of her tools. The spoon shaped long handle paddle is high on the list of devices I dislike. The bloodwood paddle with antiskid tape on one side always hurts like hell, particularly when she uses the antiskid side of the paddle.

This is not to say that I don’t dread any of her paddles. They all sting or thud most painfully. Her spankings seem to be longer in duration the past couple of days. Though her big finish with the extra hard swats seems to be pretty much the same. She has increased the number of groups of fast, sometimes hard swats on single spots. She never neglects my upper thighs. I hate that. On Friday night, it felt like she directed a couple of volleys to the area that spans my crack. It seems to me that particular area could probably handle more force.

When you read this, there should be just one spanking left (Sunday night). That is, unless I do some something stupid before then. By the way, we’ve been trying a somewhat different spanking position. I’ve been putting a pillow on the edge of the bed and then lying across it so that where my legs bend at the hip just goes over the edge. Mrs. Lion hasn’t commented about this so I’m not sure whether it’s helpful or not for her.

Anyway, these daily spankings have become a sort of habit. It might feel odd not getting one after Mrs. Lion takes her shower. I’m not suggesting this become a daily ritual. I genuinely dislike these sessions. However, I mentally prepared for one every night.

I’m a little surprised that only once or twice have I felt anything the next day. I suspect it’s not that Mrs. Lion is doing a poor job, it’s more likely that the broad face of paddles imparts short-term sting but little more penetrating force that is likely to create sore spots. I remember that one woman who spanked me at a party used two different implements. One was a paddle very much like the ones Mrs. Lion uses in the other was a narrow heavy implement. When she used it on me it didn’t hurt any more than the other paddle. I asked her why she switched? She answered that the second implement will leave me with bruises I’ll feel for at least a day or two.

Aha! Apparently the kind of spanking paddles I’ve been buying over the years are better suited for sting. I’m not exactly sure what sort of paddle would work better for the longer lasting lesson. The combination of the two would most certainly be the most memorable discipline for me. We have a heavy hairbrush sized rubber paddle. Maybe that if applied with enough force, would provide the longer-lasting effect. Maybe the conveyor belt strap, if used with enough force would do the trick. I suppose I’ll find out. One or both of us will let you know if Mrs. Lion decides to experiment.

On Thursday night, Lion received an email from our landlord. They’ve decided to sell the house and we need to be out by the end of August. Excuse me? We’ve lived here for thirteen years and we have to be out in less than 30 days? Lion told them it wasn’t possible so we’ve been allowed to stay through September. But now the hunt is on for another place.

As soon as Lion told me we need to move, I started looking online. He hates to move. We have so much stuff to get rid of and he can’t help. He then proceeded to tell me I procrastinate. I’m not sure how that got thrown in the mix at that particular point in time, but there it was. I guess maybe it was because I was looking for someplace to live rather than worrying about the logistics of getting all of our crap from point A to point B. It just seemed to me you have to find a point B before you can do anything else. Plus, it was 9:30 at night and I was exhausted from lack of sleep. I’m not sure I had the energy to worry.

After about twenty minutes of both of us looking for potential housing, Lion closed his iPad and announced that I’m better at finding houses than he is. I’d found the one we live in now so I must be a house guru. If this is true then I get to decide where we live. He should have no say in the matter. If I’m in charge then I’m in charge. Right? Wrong!

Lion has been talking about FLRD and enforced chastity being fantasies. If I made all the decisions, I guess that would be someone’s fantasy. Not Lion’s. He does want me to make more of the decisions, but demanding we live in this house versus that house is not something I can do on my own. We are a partnership that just happens to practice FLRD. I decide when he gets played with. I decide when he has an orgasm. I decide if he needs to be punished. I may even decide what we eat for dinner, but our FLRD is not all encompassing. I can’t tell him I only want him to wear blue shirts. He might agree to do it, but I’d never ask. I can’t tell him to trade his car in on a Jeep. I’d love a Jeep, but it’s fairly impractical and has a habit of not being reliable.

This is not to say that Lion, all other boxes checked off, won’t agree to a house that I like over one that he likes. I think it would depend on how big the things are that are different. If the kitchens have all the same amenities but Lion likes one over the other and the yards are similar but I like the bigger patio on this one, I could see Lion giving on the kitchen. In that respect, we’re just like everyone else. We need to make the big decisions together. And so we’re off to do a drive-by on some of the houses we’ve seen online to see if we can eliminate them based on actual appearance or neighborhood before we request tours. Wish us luck!

Every so often I wring my hands in despair as I read various male chastity blogs. They make everything so black-and-white and difficult. Most disturbing to me are accounts written by “female” bloggers who claim that they lock their husbands in the chastity device and within hours the poor man is giving them 60 minutes of oral sex followed by a top to bottom cleaning of the house. I read an account like that yesterday. Oh boy!

What bothers me is that stories like this are erotically exciting to a lot of guys who fantasize about enforced male chastity. They fixate on how locking their penises up will turn their ordinary lives into an erotic fantasy of tongue exercises and vacuum cleaner dancing. If all that seems like so much fun, why aren’t they doing it now without a chastity device?

The answer is very simple: It isn’t the activities themselves, it’s the feeling of submission because the penis is locked away. I agree. I find it a turn on, locking up my penis that is, not vacuuming.

Most amusing to me are the reasons these “female” bloggers give for making the move to enforced male chastity. Generally, they claim that they are tired of their husbands sneaking off and masturbating. Apparently, it never occurred to them to discuss this as a possible problem. Oh no, that  spoils the drama.

Lastly, these “women” go out and purchase a chastity device which they then lock onto their husband’s penis. What’s wrong with this picture? First of all, anyone who wears a chastity device knows that getting it fitted properly requires measurement and experimentation. You just can’t go to the Angry Wives Chastity Store and buy a device that will fit your husband. But wait! If you can’t do that the fantasy fails!

If you will, consider enforced male chastity a male hobby. It’s something that those of us who practice it, asked our partners to do for us. We get turned on by losing control of when we get to ejaculate. A few of us may think we have a masturbation problem and believe that being locked in a chastity device will help cure it. It does deter masturbation. I suppose it could even support rehabilitation.

Before I got locked in the chastity device, I did masturbate two or three times a week. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it and I didn’t believe I had a problem. When I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up, I mentioned that I did jerk off now and then and she was surprised. She had no idea I masturbated. She made it clear that she didn’t like that idea at all. She didn’t want me to masturbate. I pointed out the obvious: I can’t masturbate if I’m locked in the chastity device.

The truth is that I probably would have been tempted to jerk off if she didn’t lock me up. I might have furtively gotten myself off now and then just because it felt good and I really didn’t share her abhorrence of the practice. Bear in mind, at that time we didn’t have a female led relationship in place. There was no defined authority in our marriage.

Four almost 3 years, I was continuously locked in a chastity device with only short reprieves for irritations and medical visits. Actually, that’s pretty much the story for the entire six years we’ve been doing it. The point is that I had severely limited amounts of time when I could have masturbated. I didn’t.

The reason is very simple: I knew that Mrs. Lion teases me to the edge of orgasm every day or two. If I masturbated, I would be much less responsive to her attempts at teasing me. I wouldn’t like that and she would probably notice. The simple fact is that it is more fun to be teased then to jerk off and ejaculate. As Mrs. Lion likes to say, it’s a win-win.

I never would have suspected that edging could be more fun than self abuse. It was a lot more fun. The combination of a male chastity device and very frequent edging, made masturbation an undesirable idea. At some point, I lost any interest in getting myself off. For health reasons, I was left wild for months. It didn’t matter. I wasn’t even tempted no matter how horny I got. Masturbation as a sexual outlet disappeared for me. I don’t miss it a bit.

Cunnilingus and housecleaning never entered the equation. It’s not that I don’t want to give oral sex to Mrs. Lion; I do. She isn’t interested. I don’t want to clean the house.

After all this time, the male chastity device between my legs is just part of me. I don’t get excited about wearing it. I’d miss it if it weren’t there. My sexual behavior remains the same with or without the device. The combination of Mrs. Lion’s very regular sexual teasing and occasional masturbating me to orgasm, is enough to have trained me away from any do-it-yourself sexual release.

Wisely, she has never instructed me to jerk off. I know that some keyholders have their men masturbate. Apparently, they don’t mind that their men retain their interest and ability to get themselves off. Mrs. Lion absolutely forbids me to do that and she’s trained me away from it by never, ever telling me to do it myself. It’s her hand (usually) or nothing.

In our case, I initiated enforced male chastity. Over time, Mrs. Lion took over ownership and made the practice part of the way she controls me. I’m talking about sexual control in this case. It’s always a sort of game for us. Giving or withholding release is never part of the more serious practice of our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD). Behavioral issues are managed completely separately from sex.

Uh oh, there goes another fantasy. Our “female” bloggers write about using the male chastity device as a tool to withhold sexual pleasure if they are displeased with nonsexual performance of their males. If he does a good job cleaning the bathroom, she might unlock him and tease him. If he misbehaves, he spends time without any stimulation.

You could use sex as a way of training a man to become more obedient. It’s a powerful reward to give a guy an orgasm. Of course, we guys can’t experience orgasms over and over. Most of us need some time for our refractory period. Withholding orgasms as punishment is a bit more problematic. Those of us who want to be locked in a chastity device also enjoy the delicious suffering of being extremely horny. So, not giving an orgasm is also a sort of reward. That’s why sex isn’t particularly useful in developing obedience.

Mrs. Lion uses negative reinforcement — spanking, mouth soaping, and corner time — to assert her authority. It’s true that rewards are very useful as well but so far neither of us can think of anything she could use as a reward. To be a reward, it would have to be something I can’t get on my own that only she can give me. Our relationship is not authoritarian enough to make that particularly easy to do. However, negative reinforcement has proven to be very effective for us.

Okay. I got that rant out of my system. I do hope that you can see why I get so incensed by bloggers continuing to represent fantasies as their own biographical fact.