By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments
clothespins on lion's balls
Lion hated it when I covered his balls with clothespins. He usually likes it, or at least puts up with the pinching. I won’t put up with his negative attitude.

I’m trying to figure out how best to help Lion. I found myself becoming perkier to drag him out of the doldrums. I realize he won’t just suddenly respond to my perkiness by saying he feels much better now. And perky people are annoying. The answer, I think, is to continue to be supportive and hope that things improve over time. I’m not going anywhere.

The good news is that Lion has appointments with both the surgeon and the ophthalmologist on Friday. I’m hoping they’ll have some answers for him. Something more than “wait and see”.

I managed to wax Lion’s balls, around the base of my weenie and his crack last night when I got home from work. He says he feels much better with smooth balls. Maybe this weekend we can get more of him waxed. That will definitely be a step toward getting back to normal.

Lion wasn’t very excited when I washed my weenie in the shower. I’m sure it felt good but he didn’t seem as erect as he did a few days ago. Maybe between weekend waxing and being locked up again, he’ll start perking up. While I don’t want to put a lot of pressure on him, I want to make sure he knows I’m not giving up. He won’t just get locked away and forgotten. I’ll still be unlocking him at least every other day for the chance to be edged.

One thing that will have to change is Lion’s attitude toward play. Admittedly, he was only upset once. But if things are to continue as usual, he’ll have to accept Velcro and clothespins and any other mean thing I want to do to him. Just as he has (almost) every other time. I may even play with him when he doesn’t want me to. I’m willing to try anything. Are you, Lion?

[Lion — I guess I have to accept it. Don’t worry, I will. I really don’t know what’s going on. I just wish these bad feelings would go away.]

By:
In: Sex, Lion's Journal, Punishment

I’m still not getting very aroused when Mrs. Lion plays with me. On Sunday night I asked her to try oral stimulation. She did and it didn’t work. I asked her to try the Magic Wand. She did, and it didn’t work. I’m starting to think that I’m broken.

In the back of my mind I always have a little fear that maybe my libido has decided to shut off. I’m not ready for that. It certainly would take the fun out of all the stuff we write about here. I know Mrs. Lion won’t give up and I still hope that this is a strictly temporary situation.

On Sunday we were interviewed by Mark and Rebecca for their podcast “All The Sex”. We talked about enforced male chastity and our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD). It was a fun conversation. Mark admitted that he liked it when Rebecca spanked him. He wasn’t sure that a disciplinary spanking would work with him since he said he laughs when she spanks him hard.

Mrs. Lion suggested that she may not have the right tools. We mentioned heavy, mean paddles. I suspect that with practice he’ll be yelping too. It struck me that the idea of adult spanking didn’t surprise them. Let’s face it, here in the blog we are talking to people who already accept these practices. Mark and Rebecca don’t practice FLRD yet still enjoy female-spanking-male fun.

They also play with chastity. Like many people, she locks up his penis for a weekend or a bit longer, and uses it as a source of play. I think that as more and more people learn about the existence of male chastity devices, they will be used for this kind of couple fun.

Later, Sunday night, Mrs. Lion spanked me for two offenses: I failed to thank her for my spanking the week before, and I forgot to remind her that Saturday was punishment day. It was a longer, more severe spanking. I estimate I got about 200 swats before she finished. She commented that this was back to her pre-surgical punishments. I’m not sure I fully agree. I think I got off a bit easy. That’s not to say that I would be happy if he hit me longer and harder, but if I were to rate this spanking on a scale of 1 to 10, I’d give it a six.

If you wonder what I think a standard punishment spanking should rate, I’d reluctantly suggest eight or nine. I think we’ve both given up on spankings having a lasting effect on me. Apparently, I am annoyingly difficult to mark.

The thing is, it doesn’t seem to matter if every spanking has a high rating. If it makes me yelp it’s powerful enough to contribute to conditioning my behavior. The intensity, I think, goes to how hard I will consciously try to avoid repeating the offense. A level-nine spanking will get my attention for some time. A level 5 or 6 will probably be forgotten a few days after it was received.

Having said that, my unconscious conditioning is affected to the same degree after a medium-strength spanking or a very severe one. As I wrote last week, intensity of punishment may be a factor in my sexual arousal. I know there’s a connection between being controlled and getting aroused.

On Sunday night, before trying to edge me, Mrs. Lion covered my balls with clothespins. All that did was annoy me. For no good reason it was just unpleasant. I’m pretty sure that was because I’m so worried about my inability to get to ejaculation. My focus is laser-sharp on getting to the edge. The clothespins felt like a distraction.

I don’t think that Mrs. Lion did the wrong thing. She had no way to know how focused I was. I’m sure on other occasions clothespins will be welcome play. Part of me wants to get locked up in the Jail Bird and left to marinate for a week or more. I’m starting to hate the feeling I get when I just can’t get more aroused.

Actually, I think it would be a big mistake to retreat into the cage as a way of avoiding these disappointing sessions. I think we have to keep trying or we just have to give up. I can’t imagine myself as an asexual critter.

In the meantime, nothing else has to change. Our FLRD doesn’t depend on my ability to ejaculate. Wearing a chastity device becomes sort of supercilious when the penis it encloses isn’t interested in sex. Of course, I know full well that the more important value wearing the device has for me is a reminder that I belong to Mrs. Lion.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion is convinced he’s broken. I think he’s doing it to himself now. He’s getting the bad kind of frustrated. And he’s starting to become a little bit of a child.

Yesterday I said I was going to wax him and play with him. I said I was going to use clothespins. But when I used the clothespins he was not amused. He was hard and then he wasn’t and then he was and then he wasn’t. He said he didn’t think we were going to use clothespins. Really? He said he thought he was going to have sex. I asked if the two were mutually exclusive. There’s no reason we couldn’t play and then he could have sex. We’ve done it before.

I think he was also annoyed that I didn’t wax him. It’s not like I didn’t do anything all day. I did laundry. I changed the bed. I made dinner. While Lion snoozed in the afternoon, I went and wrangled the garbage cans from the curb. Before my shower I punished him for not thanking me for his last punishment and for forgetting to remind me of punishment day on Saturday. By the time I got to Lion fun time, I was tired but I soldiered on.

I thought playing with him, even with clothespins, would get him in the mood. He likes to be played with. I didn’t use Icy Hot, after all. I wasn’t being mean. I really wanted to do something that would help him.

The sex he wanted was a blow job. Okay. I’m game. I was a little put off when he didn’t like the clothespins but I wasn’t going to stop. When the blow job wasn’t really working, he told me it was okay. I could use my hand. Oh? Thank you! I don’t want to make a big deal out of this, but I do get tired. By the time I stop trying, I’ve already gone well past the point of being tired/sore/achy. I’m wondering if we’re putting too much emphasis on getting him there.

I’m not suggesting giving up. I’m just saying maybe we need to fall back and regroup. Lion is frustrated by how long his recovery is taking. Now he feels sexually stuck. Things take time.

I think I’ve been afraid of just teasing him. Once he shows signs of life, I’ve been going for gold. Maybe that’s wrong. Maybe that’s rushing things. There’s no reason I can’t just mindlessly play with him once he’s hard. If I don’t focus on edging him maybe he’ll be able to get there. I know that sounds counter intuitive but I’m just trying to take some of the pressure off.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Female led relationship with discipline, Male Chastity

Yesterday was my seventh day of waiting between orgasms. As I’ve been writing, I haven’t had much interest in sex until a full week has passed. Almost magically on the seventh day, my interest returns. I hesitate to think that I now have a seven day refractory period. It does seem to be more than a coincidence that starting with the seventh day I go into heat.

I’m sure this is just a side effect of my surgery; at least I hope it is. If it isn’t, I’m sure we can figure something out to take up that long seven day refractory cycle. Mrs. Lion has been a bit under the weather. I suspect it’s her spring allergies. As of Sunday I still haven’t gotten my swats for forgetting to thank her for my last spanking. She’s also not feeling up to giving me my Brazilian waxing. I’m sure she’ll get around to it soon.

I also think that I may end up wearing the Jail Bird or Nub very soon. I’m getting much more competent moving around and coordinating. I think I can probably have no issue wearing a full-on chastity device.

I’m not sure if there are some other issues underlying our recent move away from our power exchanges. I suspect that having to suspend everything for a couple of months allowed inertia to set in. I think we are both happier when fully engaged in our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD) and enforced chastity power exchanges.

Mrs. Lion likes it when I’m wild. She much prefers touching and washing my penis when it is not locked in a device. She prefers not having to bother with unlocking and re-locking me. Similarly, enforcing rules takes energy as well.

From my perspective, I feel much more isolated when we go back to the no-power-exchange mode of six years ago. Mrs. Lion spends a lot of time with her iPad playing games. I watch TV. Our interaction falls dramatically. Since it’s so difficult for me to go out, we don’t even have the opportunity to shop and explore together. The combination of my reduced mobility and our suspended power exchanges has created a significant void in our relationship.

I wonder if the seven day refractory period isn’t at least partially due to this isolation. Even if it isn’t, reinstatement of our power exchange gives us a lot more opportunity to interact.

I suppose this is another example of how we are weird. I think it demonstrates how we creatively adapted to a potentially relationship-damaging pattern. The current problem is how we start again.

It seems to me that we need to find ways to get very active very fast. The best way to jumpstart our FLRD is to establish new rules that I am almost certainly going to break often. That’s how we got started years ago. The rules we started with, no spilling food on my clothing and waiting for Mrs. Lion to eat first, have been fully trained into me. I almost never break either of them. We need some new opportunities for me to get in trouble.

Similarly, we probably need to get very strict about enforced male chastity. That probably means going back to full-time lockup in a chastity device with regular edging. Of course, since my current refractory period is a full week, Mrs. Lion may need to get creative on the teasing.

I’m not surprised that we are having some trouble restarting things. After all, I am completely trained not to play with myself and to follow the limited set of rules Mrs. Lion has created. There is no overwhelming need for her to lock me up or punish me.

In terms of our success as a disciplinary couple, this is really good news. However, in terms of FLRD and enforced male chastity being effective tools to help us interact, her success has created a problem.

Fortunately, we should be able to fix this. We certainly know what to do. We just have to start doing it again. In a way, this is almost the opposite of what happens to many people when they try these power exchanges. They frequently discover that there is no lasting value in these practices. There is nothing going on beyond a locked penis and a red bottom.

When we started, Mrs. Lion was sure that we would both get bored and stop shortly after we started. I admit that I also wondered if this was something we could keep doing. Five years later, there’s no question that we are not bored and we can continue this as long as we live.

I think we both expected that suspending these activities during my recovery would just be a temporary pause with no further consequences until we began again. Apparently, we have to pay more conscious attention if we are going to start again.

I also wonder if there isn’t something we can do to reduce the one-week refractory period. Maybe I need more and longer stimulation even though it feels like nothing is going to happen. I don’t know. I just hope we can fix this. On the other hand, I’m sure we can restart our power exchange as soon as Mrs. Lion decides we are ready.