My Apology. Maybe The End Of The Game

We’re heading into the coldest time of the year here in the Pacific Northwest. December is historically our coldest month. Mrs. Lion put our heated hummingbird feeder out last night. We’ve been snuggling under the covers watching TV. I’m happy to say that we both feel a bit better. I took a sleeping pill last night and got some decent rest. Mrs. Lion’s cold is finally on the way out.

All isn’t roses yet. Our dog had a seizure last night. We have medication to get her out of it, but still it was yet another issue with someone we love. I hope this is the end of it for a while.

I would like to thank the people who left those wonderful, warm comments on Tuesday. They mean a lot to us both. We always like to hear from our readers. Writing can be an isolating exercise. Simply knowing that a lot of people read what we write is nice, but actually hearing from some is so much better.

Some bloggers, almost all women, end up having extensive email “relationships” with esubbies. These are men who share fantasies with a blogger. Many turn into two-way cyber sex. The people involved have a great masturbatory time. Occasionally, a blogger will reprint one of these interactive fantasies. Some can be quite hot to read.

To my knowledge, dominant women don’t engage in this sort of correspondence with submissive bloggers like me. I’m not complaining. I’m simply observing that there is a clear difference between how the sexes differ. For the record, Mrs. Lion doesn’t receive invitations to do online domination. I’m glad.

We may make ourselves inaccessible to our readers. I wonder about that. This came into my mind after she and I talked about broadening our experience. I’m a curious critter and poke my nose all over the Internet. Mrs. Lion doesn’t. It’s not that she’s incurious. She’s not motivated to expand her BDSM/dominant knowledge. At least, that’s how I see it. She’s not interested in sex, so nothing she reads or does turns her on. I suspect that if she could be aroused, her curiosity would be like mine.

Her motivation to be a better top comes from a desire to do more for me (not to me). Sex is a service she provides me. She’s aware I need it and I need the play. So, she provides it. This explains why there is little variety in what we do. She has no reason to look for more. She will dig around if she senses I am getting bored, but the sole motivation is me.

Just yesterday, in her post, she resolved to allow more vaginal penetration. I am very happy about that. I’ve only been inside her once since before January 2016 (when I started to keep track). Her offer is purely altruistic. Apparently, she derives no real pleasure from it.

I am grateful for her continuing desire to make me happy. I feel guilty as hell that she has to work so hard just because I need sex. I hate being someone’s job. I want to be a source of pleasure. Even though this has been going on for years, I just can’t get past the inherent selfishness in what we do.

The alternative is for me to stop wanting play and sex. Leave my needs in my underwear drawer along side my Jail Bird. It might be easier in the end. I could start writing erotic fiction and begin jerking off again. Or, maybe just try to let it all go. It’s just getting too hard the current way things are going.


  1. I’ve never commented, but have been a lurker for a long time. I’ve dreamed about having anything close to the relationship that you and Mrs. Lion have. I brought up the idea of FLR with discipline several years ago after I realized it was more of a need than a want from me. As expected, my wife had no interest- she was raised in a very strict Catholic household and just really isn’t into anything imaginative in our relationship or the bedroom.

    I think in any good relationship there are things we do for each other that we do primarily to make the other person happy. I go shopping, dancing, and skiing with my wife because she loves those activities. Were I on my own I would never do them.

    I love the open communication that you and your wife have and I feel from Mrs Lions posts that she gets a lot of enjoyment out of pleasing you. I would urge you to be gracious and thankful and continue doing what you love. Maybe work extra hard to do some things that she really likes in return.

    1. Author

      Thank you very much for joining the conversation.
      I know I am very lucky. I am unable to reciprocate. It’s a little hard to explain, but sometimes I feel like another chore Mrs. Lion has to do. I hate that.

  2. After seeing Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday, my mind apparently ruminated some in my sleep, and I felt the need to comment that more frequent penis-in-vagina (gasp! vanilla) sex might be a very good thing. Certainly in our relationship, my wife and I find that a great deal of emotional closeness results from the physical intimacy, and missing that is probably the single greatest barrier to more continuous chastity play. Perhaps it might awaken her libido from its current sleep some, too.

    Along those lines, it’s very hard to imagine that Mrs. Lion doesn’t enjoy orgasms, even if not motivated to pursue them much. We’ve recently found a toy, exclusively for women, that is as far past a vibrator as a vibrator is past – well – nothing. It’s the “Satisfyer Pro 2”, and it’s truly incredible. A vibrator, even the mighty Magic Wand, usually becomes too intense for my wife, often exactly at the moment of orgasm. This device (which uses gentle pulsating suction, not vibration) does not cause that effect, and in fact my wife can go from zero to continuous orgasm in about 15 seconds, and stay in the throes essentially continuously until her ab muscles wear out; the hyper-sensitivity is never a problem. Normally, she doesn’t orgasm very easily, so this is really a fantastic device.

    The Satisfyer is available on Amazon (definitely go for the Pro 2). I’ve read that in women (and possibly in men, but it rarely gets to this stage) that somewhat more frequent orgasms can, counter-intuitively, increase libido. Perhaps this would be true for Mrs. Lion…

    1. Author

      For a while, I was giving Mrs. Lion orgasms even though she wasn’t really in the mood. She indicated that while her body went through them, she didn’t really enjoy the experience. Like you, I figured that the orgasms might kick start her libido. Fortunately, I’m good at giving them to her. I’ll do anything to help her get her interest back.

      Maybe increased vaginal sex will spur new interest. My tongue and fingers are ready to help,

  3. I can certainly relate to this. My wife has often told me that she has no libido anymore and she could easily go without sex. Of course, I still think about it and want it nearly all the time. I am very fortunate that despite her strict Catholic upbringing she has always been fairly adventurous and will do things just because they please me and she loves me.
    But I don’t want to be a burden either and I have also thought at times that as you say, I should just give up on it and put my sex in the drawer and just be done with it.

Tell us what you think or ask us a question