Enforced Chastity a-la-cart

If you spend much time searching and reading about enforced chastity you have probably read that in addition to a chastity device all sorts of other things are “required”. Do you really have to wear women’s panties? Do you have to shave off your pubic hair? Do you really have to call your keyholder “mistress”? Do you always have to capitalize any pronouns that refer to your keyholder? If you read some sites on the Internet you can certainly get that idea.

Let’s face it, enforced chastity is a kink. It is an unusual sexual practice. It’s one of an almost-infinite range of kinks that humans invent for themselves. Most kinks are directly or indirectly related to sex. Enforced chastity is one of the most directly connected to it. At the core of many kinks is power exchange. One person gives power to another. But it goes deeper than that. Many people want to do more than just submit; they want to feel their submission all the time. Feeling that way is arousing.

The term “kink” is quite general. It refers to unusual sexual practices and fetishes. A fetish is a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc. Most people have fetishes to some degree. A “breast man” or an “ass man,” for example, is sexually aroused by the sight of those body parts. Most guys have one or both of those fetishes. Wearing a chastity device can be considered a fetish. Ironically, in this case the fetish is a device that prevents sexual gratification. We are perverse critters, aren’t we?

Most people have sexual fantasies and dreams. Some of these repeat and are remembered. I have had fantasies of being tied up and spanked on my bare ass since I was a little kid. Those fantasies can make me hard. Others fantasize about wearing panties and bras. The variations are endless. My fantasies are about surrendering power. Allowing myself to be spanked is a submissive act. Wearing panties is humiliating. For that matter, so is spanking. That humiliation is arousing. What does that have to do with enforced chastity? Absolutely nothing!

That’s the point. Those are completely different kinks. But they often come up along with enforced chastity along with a lot of others. That doesn’t mean you need to adopt spanking, for example, in order to have enforced chastity. The reason that so many people combine fetishes and enforced chastity is pretty simple. Enforced chastity is rather advanced. How many boys fantasized about having their penises locked up? Not many, I would imagine. In fact, adults that end up practicing enforced chastity generally come upon it later in life. The vast majority of people who have this kink are over 4o years old. Chances are good that these people discovered other kinks prior to finding this one.

So, if prior to discovering enforced chastity, you also had fantasies involving other power exchanges or humiliation, chances are very good that you will imagine chastity scenarios that include those other fantasies. Since my fantasies include spanking, nudity, and other BDSM activities, it’s natural that I would want to weave them into my enforced chastity experience. Based on reading chastity forums, many guys can’t separate their interest in enforced chastity from their other fantasies. So, they create a set of “rules” that are required if you are to have this kink. That’s where the dogmatic insistence on panties or shaved pubes come from. The people building these lists believe that those fetishes are required as well as a chastity device.

There is no reason why you can’t wear a chastity device and limit the power exchange to orgasm control alone. Based on my reading (I haven’t been lucky enough to find a face-t0-face group practicing enforced chastity), many guys start out with orgasm control alone. Some never do anything else. They are satisfied with enforced chastity. Most, though, will add other kinks and fetishes over time. It can take years, but it seems to happen. My theory is that success at experiencing enforced chastity eventually emboldens them to dip their toes into other fantasies.

It isn’t surprising that this happens. Bringing that first fantasy to life requires a lot of courage. Will my wife laugh at me when I ask her to lock me up? Will my device be discovered by strangers or people at work? What will my family think if they  find out? The fears are endless. But if those fears are overcome and the enforced chastity works, the courage to try other fantasies is much easier to muster. After all, success breeds more success. And success also wants to share with the world. So, one way to do this is by posting to chastity forums.

A big drawback of the Internet is that many people use forums and blogs to “try on” fantasies. It’s easier to write posts that express fantasies as though they are real than it is to actually bring them to life. People respond to these posts with praise and acceptance. The poster becomes important in his little world. Since its inception, the Internet has been a place to share fantasies as fact. But if you are looking for reality because you actually want to bring the fantasy to life, it can be difficult to separate the people who really live it from the ones who like to write their fantasies online.

When it comes to enforced chastity, there are no “rules” that you must follow if you are to practice this kink. By definition, enforced chastity includes a chastity device that inhibits your ability to get hard and ejaculate. It doesn’t have t be inescapable. It just has to “feel” that way. How often you wait between orgasms is part of the negotiation between you and your keyholder. There is no minimum or maximum. That’s it. Lock a chastity device on your penis and you are practicing enforced chastity, what else you want to include is up to you.