I don’t want to appear rude, so I’ll say this publically, I almost never answer “Contact Us” messages that want advice of one sort or another.  Like many other bloggers, I receive a fair number of this sort of queries. I’m not sure why people believe that journalists (bloggers are journalists) should be expected to provide personalized service to individual readers.

It isn’t that I think I am too good to help out. It’s just that writing an almost-daily post takes a lot of time and effort. I don’t have the time or desire to reply individually to people I’ve never met. By the way, none of those people ever express any interest in us. They want advice on chastity and FLR. Most don’t even take the time to do a site search to see if their questions had already been answered in posts.

Occasionally, someone sends an interesting email that gets my attention. I do answer those. I understand how hard it is to find advice on these subjects. When we first got started, I sent a contact us email to a blogger. He never answered.

The online world is a strange place. Bloggers, like us, share intimate details of our lives. We aren’t compensated for our writing. We do it because we want to. Some of us actually pay for the facilities to publish what we write. Most blogs get very few readers. We are lucky. Quite a few people read what we write.

The people who send demanding emails wanting personal advice tend to come to us via Google or other search engines. Based on what they write, I don’t think they bothered to read a single line on our site. They just click the “Contact” button and expect free help. Our regular readers offer comments to our posts, and if they have questions, they ask them in that public forum. I love answering comments…well, most comments. Some comments are obvious attempts to solicit advice without reading our content.

Speaking of content, bloggers jealously guard their ownership of their audience. Most will never mention another blog, much less post a link to it. That’s dumb. All of us are connected by omnipresent search engines. Type a query about “male chastity,” and you will see pretty much everyone writing about it. The same is true about any subject. I don’t have time to read too many blogs like ours, but when I find one that has something to say that I want to share, I feel fine about publishing a link to it. They almost never return the favor.

Anyone who owns a website can get detailed statistical data about who is reading it. Google provides free, detailed information. Others do too. We have a dedicated server running analytical software that counts each visit and pageview. We don’t know who reads our blog. Our readers’ identity is safe. We do know how many people read each page and visit on any given day. We know what country they come from. We also know if they clicked a link on another site or search engine to find us.

This information is useful. It helps us understand what our audience wants to read. It lets us know how many people visit and how many pages they read on each visit. Right now, our average visitor reads between two and three pages. Almost half navigate directly to our site. They aren’t coming from search engines or other website links. I like that a lot. It means we are a destination. ChatGPT includes our site in its data model. Almost 40,000 references are in it.

All this is encouraging. It’s fun to be well-known. It doesn’t buy us anything. We have nothing to sell and we don’t solicit donations or subscriptions.  One day we may have to, but not now. You may wonder what we want in contacts. I would love to hear ideas about what might be interesting for us to write about. It’s great when we learn about something new. That’s always wonderful fun.

Listen to this post.


  1. I need real answers of some questions concerning FLR and chastity cage. I have been reading your blog and searched for the things I am seeking, but I coudn’t find even though I used the search bar here. I have some particular questions. Where is your public forum where I can ask questions?

    1. Author

      I don’t want to appear unfriendly, but why do you assume that I have time to answer specific reader questions? I understand that finding your way through our kinks can be difficult. I had to struggle with this too. I’m pretty sure that my knowledge on the subject is in the posts I’ve written. I sympathize with your frustration. I’m just another guy who has spent a decade finding his way. I’m sure that with time and Google, you will too.

  2. It’s personal I guess. I don’t mind responding to requests for advice. Often it’s to get their jollies, and I have fun calling that out and teasing them. My lax email habits on my kinky email mean that extremely persistent people tend to drop down to a reply a month or so. But I’ve had some great interactions with advice seekers and have gotten a bunch of content out of it to boot.

    1. Author

      I agree. My difficulty is that many guys write for specific “how-to” advice on devices to wear and other very individual questions. I can’t really help with things like that. Most of the time, the mail I get is from people who don’t take the trouble to read our site. I have over 20 pages of how-to information on male chastity and female led relationships. They are accessible via the menu at the top of every page. If I got a question like, “I read your ‘How to cage your man’ page and you said, ‘…’. I would be very inclined to reply. It shows that some effort was put into finding answers before asking me questions.

      I do try to answer legitimate questions in my posts or responses to comments. I ignore questions that are answered in published pages and posts. I think you have a very different situation. You are a woman who enjoys interaction with men. Your mail is almost always from men interested in you. My mail is from guys who want me to feed their male chastity, FLR fantasies. Since I’m heterosexual, I don’t get any fun out of that. If women wrote me (real ones), I would be much more inclined to answer.

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