I started off my post yesterday intending to answer Lion’s post from today. The problem is that it didn’t publish until this morning. You wouldn’t have had any idea what I was talking about. I was going to suggest that I should fake enjoying myself so Lion thinks I’m having fun, but I’ve come up with a better analogy.
It’s review time here at the old office. That got me thinking about Lion’s post. He feels bad that I’m doing things he thinks I don’t like. He thinks I don’t enjoy it. He says I do things for him, not to him. Potato, tomato. This is what made me think of our office performance reviews.
Let’s say my boss tells me I answer the phones timely and pleasantly; I answer emails timely and pleasantly; I do my work and help others; I cover for my coworkers when they’re sick or on vacation and I help train new people. I need to do a little work on X, but I get a positive review all the way up to the last item, which is having fun. I don’t look like I’m enjoying myself. So they can’t give me a raise. As a matter of fact, they’re going to cut my pay. Excuse me?
I was upset after I read Lion’s post. I was hurt. I’m doing a great job but he feels bad so we’ll just stop because I’m not having fun. After I wrote my post and had some lunch I felt a little better. Then it occurred to me that I had I have the perfect recourse. When Lion upsets me or annoys me, I can punish him. He may feel bad about being selfish but he shouldn’t make me feel bad. Besides, I thought I wrote a post about his not needing to feel selfish just recently. Lion needs to learn.
I sent him an email telling him to put the newer tenderizer paddle on the bed so I could punish him. This served two purposes. He knew I meant business and if the paddle was on the bed I wouldn’t forget to punish him. Later on he said I’d never asked him to get the paddle before. I guess it made an impression on him. Good.
After I whomped his butt with both sides of the tenderizer paddle, he said he could probably have stood more swats. I’m sure that’s true. Had I used the smaller paddle, I probably could have whomped him longer. The larger paddle wasn’t the right choice. It’s a bit too heavy for rapid fire swats. Maybe his reaction signals the fact that he didn’t get the full effect of the punishment. I’m sure he’ll revisit this issue several more times before he realizes he should stop feeling bad about being selfish. At the very least, he should stop making me feel bad about it.