By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment, Spanking

Last night Lion pointed out that Monday is punishment night. It’s also his birthday. Hmmm. That hardly seems fair. The only swats he should get are birthday swats. So, on the fly, I instituted a new rule: if punishment night falls on a federal holiday or birthday, any swats accrued will be meted out on the following night. Phew! Crisis averted. That was a close one!

I can joke about it because I’m not a strict person. Whether punishment is given out on Monday or Tuesday makes little difference to me. There are many reasons why the day may have to change. Mondays are also one of Lion’s PT days. If he comes home dragging his arm behind him because he did a lot of painful exercises, I won’t add to his misery. If we eat too much on a Thursday night and both of us feel bloated and gross, I wouldn’t want to punish him. It would be uncomfortable for both of us. It’s a no-brainer to postpone things till Friday. Of course there’s nothing that says I have to limit punishment to either of those days. If Lion annoys me I can take care of things right then and there or as soon as we get home.

I’m not at all sure how many punishment days are affected by this new rule. Federal holidays are often on Mondays and Fridays as a way to extend weekends. If it becomes an issue, I can always change it back. It’s one of the perks of being in charge. Or I can make a loophole. Lawmakers are fond of loopholes. The rule is what I say it is, except when I say it’s different. There. A loophole.

Lion was all for the rule change. No punishment on his birthday. I don’t think either one of us thought about birthday swats at the time. I didn’t until I wrote it here. They’re different from punishment swats, of course. “Little” love taps. And don’t forget the pinch to grow an inch.

By:
In: Edging, Lion's Journal

Guys have developed an amazing mythology around being horny. When anyone is horny, he or she wants sexual release. It is another way of expressing an interest in sex. That’s it. It’s not a disease. There are no recorded cases of a male’s balls exploding from being unable to ejaculate.

Both men and women relieve being horny by masturbating if partner sex is unavailable. A lot of people like to be horny. It’s exciting and fun.

Teenage boys are famous for conning some form of sex out of girls by saying that they are in pain because they are horny. The girls aren’t smart enough yet to just tell the boy to jerk off and he will be fine.

Why do some guys want to wear a chastity device and be prevented from orgasmic release? I’m sure every woman whose partner has asked to be locked up has asked herself this question. If she realizes he is jerking off for do-it-yourself release, she might welcome the idea of locking him up. Mrs. Lion was surprised that I masturbated before my lockup.

She didn’t like the idea that anyone but her could make me ejaculate. Apparently, monogamy to her meant no one, including me could get me off. Other women don’t mind their husbands beating their meat. They might just feel he is doing a chore she would otherwise have to do. The simple fact is that we males don’t have to come. We can have an orgasm-free life with no serious problems.

I actually like being horny. If I am horny and edged, essentially I am enjoying sexual pleasure over an extended period of time. If Mrs. Lion gets me off, my interest in sex goes away for a while. Now, after four years of enforced chastity, my sexual interest is low for up to three days after ejaculating. My interest then grows until my next squirt.

The male orgasm really isn’t the goal. I know that we males think it is. But after thinking about it for a long time, I disagree. The race – the time I spend wanting an orgasm – is actually at least as much fun as the orgasm itself. In a way, ejaculating is just a way to restart the race. In my case, if I don’t have one, after a while my interest in sex goes down. I’m not claiming it is lost. It’s not. It just stops being something I think about very often. All that is needed is a brief session with the Magic Wand and my interest is high again.

This all came up in the context of Mrs. Lion’s comments about keeping me horny or getting me off. She prefers getting me off. She wonders why sometimes after I come, that I ask her why she didn’t make me wait. I think that in her mind, she is surprised I don’t share her enthusiasm for ejaculation. I would be crazy to say that I don’t. I love to come. But I also love waiting.

If she asks me if I want to come after she has brought me to the edge of ejaculation a few times, she has to realize I will always say yes. Similarly, if while she is spanking me, she asks if I want her to stop, of course I say I do. Both are honest answers in the heat of the moment. But if she asks me at a time when there is distance between the sensations, I may surprise her with my answer.

In the case of spanking, I know she can be considerably more severe. I think I want that. In terms of orgasms, it’s more difficult. Can I wait ten or twenty days? Yes, of course. Will I like it? No, absolutely not. Really? Well maybe I won’t exactly hate it. I don’t know.

Mrs. Lion seems to have an informal 7 day target for my orgasms. It’s fair. We never went for records. Am I ready to come now? Oh yes! I want to very badly. The edging I get nearly every day contributes to this desire. Does that mean I should get that orgasm? No, not necessarily. I won’t explode. It depends on how much fun Mrs. Lion has when I am bucking desperately trying to get that last little bit into heaven and then she says, “Not today.” If that’s fun, then she should enjoy it. But not too much.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Orgasm denial

Lion likes to go out. I’m more of a homebody. No surprise there. I figure I’ve been out working all day, why would I want to go back out? Depending on how hard a day it’s been, that includes going out to eat too.

Last night Lion suggested the casino. We haven’t been for a very long time. At one point it seemed like we lived there. We went every weekend to a further one and, at times, near nightly to the closer one. Lion said he didn’t want to just sit around the house. Maybe he was compensating for the lack of sex happening during that time period. I don’t know. I found it boring after I lost the first $20. I’d go off and people watch or read a book depending on what casino we were visiting. But last night was fun.

I lost some money. Lion made up what I lost so I think we ended up even, if not a little ahead. We had dinner at the buffet which is nice for a change but boring when it happened every night/weekend. The slot machines I played took some money but then gave some back. At one point I was ahead a bit, but I wanted to see the bonus round so I kept going. Other machines would suddenly give out wild spots for no reason and I’d win back some money. We found a 3D slot that was very entertaining. It was fun but I hope we’re done for a while again.

Lion reminded me he was horny quite a few times. There’s not much I can do for him if we’ve been out all night and we’re tired. I was ready for bed. He was horny. I wouldn’t have helped his horniness anyway. I’d only have made it worse by edging him. He’s saving himself for his birthday. Well, he’s not. I am. I think, and I say this because I know me, that he won’t get an orgasm until Sunday night at the earliest. But Lion knows I can be persuaded to give in before then. And it’s not necessarily him doing the persuading. It’s me. I’m the weak link in this chain.

I talk a good game about making him wait and then I give in. To myself. I have these little arguments in my head while I’m edging him. He should wait. Oh, come on! Nope, he should wait. For what? He’s made it this far and I think he can make it X more days. Are you nuts? Yup. It gets heated in there. And then I give in and Lion inevitably says, “I thought you were going to wait.” Can’t win.

Today we’re off to pick up Lion’s birthday cake and run some other errands. Then we’ll come home, do some chores, and I will attempt to stave off the voice that wants Lion to come tonight. My internal voice. Not his.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Sex

Since I’ve been reviewing our male realities, I thought I would move on to our most scared cow: orgasms. The stories abound about the drastic personality changes created by withholding or getting an orgasm. Some enforced chastity fans write that they undergo a negative personality change for days after they come. They use this as their rationalization for needing to orgasm infrequently. I’m sure you’ve seen a lot of this on the Web.

The fact is that human males, like most mammals, are in heat all the time. They are ready for sex if a female is available to mate with them. Their arousal is automatic when a female in heat is sensed. Our social development has changed that behavior substantially. Humans engage in non-procreative sex much more often than they do to produce offspring.

Our male mammalian brains drive us to want sex. Most men’s orgasms are produced by masturbation. It’s hard to find a guy who doesn’t jerk off, even after marriage. It’s a safe, socially-acceptable way to satisfy our continuous heat. It’s also a way to keep the fires burning. If there is no release, eventually interest in sex will diminish to nothing.

Guys like me enjoy the idea of delayed orgasm as part of a power exchange. This often includes a chastity device that makes erection and orgasm almost impossible without removal of the device. Escape from most devices is possible, but that is beside the point. We want to be locked up. Why would we try to escape?

Most men think about sex a lot. It’s our male brains. Those of us with a sexual power exchange may think about it a little differently. I know that well over 95% of my sexual encounters with Mrs. Lion will not result in an orgasm for me. I will be teased to the edge over and over, but not given release. Eventually, I will be allowed to ejaculate.

All this teasing tends to focus my mind on our particular form of sex. I crave the teasing and edging. I actually like when I’m frustrated at the end of a session. That’s my conditioning. For four years, Mrs. Lion’s hand has been my primary sexual facilitator. Orgasm by her hand is rare, but build up to the edge is common.

When I finally get to come, it’s a normal orgasm. Sometimes super exciting, others slightly painful; no different from normal orgasms.

Mrs. Lion teases me and gets me off because she wants to please me. She has no real investment in my orgasms. The mythology says that our keyholders love to frustrate us. They use our frustration to manipulate our behavior so that we will sexually please them as well as do chores around the house. That chastity device is supposed to be their key to a sexual/household servant.

It’s incredible some guys buy this. If you aren’t willing to provide sexual service to  your wife without your penis being locked up, I imagine she feels pretty badly that you don’t want her. The sexually-selfish male stereotype that will only please his partner if forced is crazy.

My point is that the entire male chastity experience from delayed orgasm to wife pleasing is a male invention. It’s a hot fantasy for guys. I don’t think many women share it. It’s a game that is fun for both partners to play. But it is a game. It’s an extended BDSM experience.

If you believe it is something more serious, I suggest you both sit down together and do a reality check. It’s fine to play and get into it so deeply that you are convinced all this stuff is real. I love that and Mrs. Lion makes sure it is real to me.

But, it’s not great if deep down inside you believe this is truly reality. It’s a kink. It’s something we both like. But it doesn’t define our relationship. Our relationship is based on a deep love we have for each other. Sex is fun, but it doesn’t define us. Sex or no sex, Mrs. Lion is my mate. Period.