By:
In: Bondage, Edging, Ruined orgasm

Last night didn’t go quite as planned. We started playing early as planned. I tied Lion’s balls nice and tight and started the beginnings of a hand job. The plan was to give Lion an orgasm. The plan was to edge him several time first. That’s where the plan fell apart.

The past few times I tried to edge Lion didn’t go well. He was too tired or we started too late. He sort of fizzled out. He always apologizes when that happens. There’s nothing to apologize for. The play is for him. Sure there are times I’d like to give him an orgasm, but if I can’t for any reason, it isn’t a big deal. We’ll try again the next night.

Lion always jumps to the conclusion that he must be broken if he can’t “perform”. Even if he’s been horny for days on end. Even if I just edged him the night before. Nope. That’s it. Out of order. And I’m sure he thinks it’s for good. Put the Lion out to pasture. No one will want him anymore. Humph! I know he’s not broken. And I prove it to him every time. It may take a day or two, but I don’t give up easily.

So I tied his balls last night knowing that he likes that. Bondage of any sort usually turns him on. And he was already hard from the minute I touched him. It should be no problem at all to edge him. Well…I guess I didn’t do a very good warm up. It was harder to get him to the edge than I thought it would be. And then as I’m getting him closer, I don’t want to let up because I don’t want to lose too much momentum. And then, boom! I stopped too late. It would have been a ruined orgasm if I hadn’t started up again to salvage it. Damn! Not what I had planned at all.

The original plan was to give Lion an orgasm on Christmas eve and Christmas day, and then another on New Year’s eve and New Year’s day. He balked at that. Too many orgasms in too short a time. OK. I get that. I’m going to keep at it though. I’ll edge him every night for a few days and maybe New Year’s eve my plan will come to fruition.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal
paddle on refrigerator
This paddle really hurts. Even knowing that, I get a little sexual thrill when I see it hanging on the refrigerator.

It seems that the hornier I get, the more careless I become. Yesterday when Mrs. Lion served breakfast, I began eating without looking to see if she started. She informed me that I had just avoided punishment by less than a second. I looked puzzled and then realized what I had almost done. I nearly ate first. Part of me was sorry that I avoided punishment. As you know, the idea of being spanked turns me on. When horny, I seem to forget how much I hate the actual spanking.

The wooden spoon spanking the other night was mild as spankings go. That may be why the idea of being swatted felt sexy yesterday. I can, of course, ask Mrs. Lion for a play spanking. I haven’t had one of those since the recent increase in severity. I have no idea how one would affect me. Of course there’s a problem with a play spanking. If it’s too mild it may not satisfy that sexual feeling I have. If it is stronger, it encourages me to sexualize punishment spankings.

That’s the problem with me being turned on by something that is also the way I am punished. It may seem that the obvious solution is to punish me with something that has no sexual interest for me. That could work. But spanking, my sexual interest notwithstanding, is probably the perfect punishment for me. I know, I know, it’s not up to me. True enough. But there’s a reason spanking is the most common form of adult domestic punishment. It’s safe, very painful, and works. It works for me.

Mrs. Lion will never spank my sexual feelings for this out of me. But she has discovered how to remove that component when she punishes me. It’s unpleasant for her to administer. It’s a lot worse for me. But it works.

The topic of punishment in general and spanking in particular are very easy to misunderstand. A lot of guys find the thought of being spanked arousing. I certainly do. It’s a potent combination of surrender, humiliation, and pain. This excitement was one of the reasons I asked Mrs. Lion to do domestic discipline. I think in some ways I’m not too bright. I now know that the reality of the spanking is nothing like the fantasy. Yes, it is humiliating; but not in a fun way. It’s pure pain from start to finish. If I start out hard, the erection is gone after a few swats.

You’d think I’d learn that spanking isn’t sexy at all. I haven’t. I still fantasize about getting one. I am fully aware of the reality. I know that Mrs. Lion’s spankings will only get more severe. But like yesterday morning, I still had a flash of regret when I was told I escaped a spanking by less than a second.

I’ve never purposely broken a rule to earn punishment; but I’ve strongly considered it. Interestingly, after those two severe spankings a week ago, I worked very hard to avoid another. As time passes I am less careful. Is this a male thing? Are we really boys at heart? Do I, at least, need regular reminders of the cost of misbehaving?

Maybe.

This is new to both of us. That’s why I turned to reading blogs by people who have had physical punishment all their lives. It all seems so irrational. But now that we are practicing domestic discipline, irrational or not, it works. We are both growing. This isn’t the one-way fantasy of a male being dominated by a selfish female. It’s us. We love each other and I am not becoming a child. I am Mrs. Lion’s husband. There are just times when she needs to remind me how I need to behave.

The best discussion of how to teach a man how to separate sexual thoughts about spanking from the reality of punishment appeared in the Wife’s In Charge blog. Click here to read this.

Help us celebrate
My third year in enforced chastity is drawing to a close. Coincidentally, our 2000th post publishes within a few days of the end of my third year. It seems like a good opportunity to do something different. I thought about going back to the beginning and publishing excerpts from our blog that provide a series of snapshots showing how we have changed in the last three years. Then I considered how much time it would take to compile. Being essentially lazy, I decide to put that off for another, less hectic time.

I have a different idea. Why not put you to work? Between now and January 2nd please leave questions you would like both of us to answer. Our 2000th post will be a he said, she said answering your questions. We’ve never attempted this before. In order for this to work, we need your questions. Please leave them as comments. There must be something you would like to know.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you happy holidays. Enjoy this wonderful time.

By:
In: Orgasm, Shock Collar, Spanking
training collar under lion's balls
Hair of the dog. Next time Lion forgets to wear this, when we get home he will get a few zaps to remind him to wear it next time.

Yesterday we went out to do some shopping. I think the entire population of every nearby town was on the road. We quickly decided the best idea was to wait until around dinnertime to shop. When we got to one store later, however, the shelves were bare in quite a few areas. No one was restocking. It seemed like very poor planning on their part. That’s the problem with stores cutting staff to maintain a healthy stock price. We decided to go over to the competition. They had similar sales, but the shelves were adequately stocked. I’m hoping we got everything we needed and we can stay huddled in the house until Tuesday when it’s time for work.

Because we shopped so late, we got home late. Lion was horny, but tired. Playtime didn’t go as well as expected. Earlier in the day, Lion said he had no say in when he gets an orgasm, but he remembers the old schedule had him coming on Christmas eve and Christmas day. He doesn’t like the arrangement of back to back orgasms. I was going to give him one last night, but Mr. Weenie wasn’t in sync with Lion’s mind. We decided that an earlier start to the festivities would help. Tonight we will certainly do that.

I’ve been thinking about Lion’s punishment spankings in relation to punishment spankings in other blogs. I’m not entirely sure I’m willing to make his more severe. I have no desire to reduce Lion to a blubbering mess. I swat until I think I’ve proven my point. That could be accomplished in five swats or twenty-five swats. It depends partly on Lion’s reaction and partly on the state of his buns. If I see bruising happening quickly, I first try to avoid that spot, and then if the bruising continues there or elsewhere I stop.

Naturally, it all depends on the paddle I’m using. Some will create bruising more quickly than others. Should I designate one paddle as the punishment paddle? I guess I could. But I like having a variety of paddles for both punishment and play spankings. Theoretically, I should be able to prove my point with any paddle.

As I write this, I’ve decided that Lion’s punishment for forgetting his training collar should be a zap or two with said training collar. A little hair of the dog that bit him, so to speak. It seems only fitting to me that he should be punished with the very thing he forgot to wear. After all, when I know it’s on, I give him little vibratory thank yous to let him know he’s a good boy. A few zaps after we get home would definitely let him know he wasn’t a good boy for forgetting. I bet that will help him remember.

Happy holidays!!!!

By:
In: 2.0, Lion's Journal

We’re at a tricky point in our FLR/Domestic Discipline. Two weeks ago I was punished twice on successive days. Both punishments were severe spankings that left marks for days. I deserved punishment. That’s not the reason it’s a tricky time. Mrs. Lion’s decisions to punish me and then follow through with full, disciplinary spankings may have been uncomfortable for her.

Until then, my punishments were certainly painful, but stopped well short of the sort of spanking that would be a true deterrent to my errors. We both know that we had to evolve into the sort of power exchange we agreed to have. The catalyst for this latest change may have been discussing some reading I had been doing. I read some posts on spanking. One made an impression on me. It said that spanking is supposed to be as painful as possible. I know, you’re thinking, “Duh! What did he think it was about?” Ok, I knew it hurt. I’ve been spanked enough in the last year and a half. But I never considered that pain was the entire point.

I’m not sure what I thought it was. I’ve always been drawn to spanking. It’s a turn on to me. Mrs. Lion knew that and from the beginning when she punished me all thoughts of sex disappeared. But she held back. Neither of us have any history of being spanked. So we didn’t know how much was enough. I admit that given my inability to learn from them, the spankings I was getting from Mrs. Lion were not working the way they should.

After I read that pain is the point of spanking, I told Mrs. Lion. We discussed it a bit and she said she would fix that problem. She did. After that fateful weekend, I left on my business trip. I returned four days later with a bad cold. I was sick all the next week so there was no more talk of domestic discipline. In fact, Mrs. Lion suspended my rules while I was sick.

Over the months, we’ve received comments that it doesn’t seem fair that I get a disciplinary spanking for little things like spilling food on my shirt. I’ve replied that it may not be fair but it is necessary. The idea is that we both form habits that include punishment in our normal lives.  While every spanking hurts, the one’s I’ve gotten for spilling are short and not very painful. My bottom barely gets pink.

When I did something more serious and disrespectful like interrupting her, Mrs. Lion’s spankings were a little more severe. I kept suggesting that they needed to be a lot more intense to be effective. That drew comments about me being stupid to bring this down on myself.

From my perspective, I know that for FLR and domestic discipline to work for us, two things have to happen: First, Mrs. Lion has to observe offenses and punish me when she sees them. Second, the punishments have to be real and very painful. She can’t let me believe that what she is doing is happening because of my sexual fantasies about being spanked.

Over the last couple of months, Mrs. Lion has really improved in observing my behavior. More importantly, she is noticing when I make her angry. That is a brilliant step. Most recently, when she decides to punish me, her spankings are severe enough to send me a clear message. I appreciate these changes.

Here’s the point when you tell me I am crazy. I think the next step is to maintain or even increase the severity of punishments. They are having an effect on me. More importantly for me is that Mrs. Lion is consistent in observing infractions and punishing them. I think that when I truly feel that any slip on my part will draw a very painful spanking, then I will feel even closer and will work harder to be on my best behavior.

Make no mistake. I want her to do this. I’ve asked her to be my disciplining wife. I’m grateful she’s agreed to take that on.