By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Today is day eight of Lion’s unemployment. Work days, that is. Even though he knew he probably wouldn’t hear anything from the prospective employer, he’s getting antsy. Why haven’t they called? The waiting is driving him crazy. Neither of us will be happy until there is an offer.

As promised, I unlocked Lion last night and let him run wild. We didn’t really snuggle. We did hold hands. When I asked Lion if he was frisky I didn’t get a response. As we were hunkering down for the night he wondered if he’d ever want sex again. I’m not quite sure why things have to be black or white. Can’t there be a gray area in which his libido is just quiet? Why does it have to be gone for good? Then he said he thinks more snuggling would help. Since we were watching a rerun of Emergency! I told him I would use the paddles and zap him back to life tonight.

I think this conversation highlights yet another difference between Lion and I. My sex drive has been non-existent for a long time, but I don’t think it’s dead. Something will wake it up again. I just don’t know what that something might be. When Lion’s sex drive is low, he considers it dead. I’m sure he doesn’t really consider it dead. I think he just has a momentary panic about it being dead. It’s usually situational and only lasts a few days before I’m able to revive him.

Nobody can be “on” all the time. Especially in the face of adversity. Maybe he’s worried we’ll go back to where we were before enforced chastity. I don’t think there’s any danger of that. Even if we hit a point where neither of us wants sex we’ll still have the open communication we’ve established. We’ll still snuggle. It just won’t lead to sex. It doesn’t mean we won’t be close.

But we aren’t there yet. There’s still a lot of interest in him. I just just have to spark it again. Challenge accepted!

By:
In: Lion's Journal

I’m still waiting to hear about my dream job. I was warned that I wouldn’t get any news this week. Other candidates are going through the interview process and I won’t hear anything until they have their chance to impress. Waiting is not my favorite activity. That’s an odd admission from someone who has to wait for each and every orgasm. Of course, that waiting is very different. I know what the outcome will be, just not when I will get it. I should be more confident about the job prospect too. The hiring company is very large and has Byzantine processes. The hiring manager has gone out of his way to assure that I know he is interested.  I won’t feel good about the job until I get an offer. The ordeal isn’t done then. There are at least two background checks before I can start. Oh well.

Mrs. Lion has been great about trying to help me feel better. She hasn’t been demanding and has gone out of her way to help me feel less lonely and anxious. I’m grateful for her love and understanding. My ability to sleep has been suffering too. I’m up a few times a night. While trying to get back to sleep, I work to think about topics that will put me in a positive frame of mind.

The other night my thoughts turned to things I read online. Of course it’s impossible to know if what I’m reading is real or fiction, or perhaps a combination of both. For the record, I like both kinds of blogs. The thing is that situations presented in some, particularly in the areas of domestic discipline and female led relationships can set up unrealistic expectations for people who are inexperienced.

So, at 4 AM, I compiled a list of post content that might suggest I am reading fantasy:

  • Is there an elaborate spanking ritual? Can you imagine such a ritual going on for years and years in your house? I can’t.
  • Are other family members or neighbors involved in the FLR dynamic? Would your kids really be bossing around your husband? Are you that close to your neighbors?
  • Has full-time help been hired who also dominates the male? Really?
  • Is the male treated as an object? That’s a big fantasy, but try living that one for very long.
  • Has the male not had an orgasm in a year or more? OK, this is something that a few people really do. Reading about this extreme, long-term denial is a flag, but not an absolute indicator of fantasy.
  • Has the chastity device remained in place for months on end? This is a health risk. Even long term denial practitioners take the device off now and then.

I may have come up with a few more, but that’s all I remembered in the morning. My point isn’t that it’s wrong to express fantasies in a blog. No, not at all. I enjoy reading them. The only risk is that if readers judge their own lives in the context of unrealistic fantasy. When we first began this blog, I was indignant about the blogs that presented fantasy as fact. I guess I’ve mellowed. Some of these ongoing fantasies are like sexual soap operas. It’s fun to see what new inventions arrive in each installment. I admit it. I read them. Sometimes they even turn me on.

Of course I can be completely wrong. Perhaps what I see as inconceivable is actually fact for the people writing those blogs. Maybe your adult kid becomes a junior dominatrix who orders her dad around. Maybe elaborate BDSM rituals are daily activities. I don’t know. I do know that I don’t have any expectation that our lives will ever be like the ones I read about in those blogs.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

I never meant that Lion should have dinner ready for me every night when I get home. I do love it when he does, but it’s not an assignment or requirement. I also don’t think I said I don’t understand why he wouldn’t want to be home all day. I was only trying to say that I would love it. It gets old for me too eventually. Lion and I are very different. He likes to go to work and have contact with people. I can do without it. I have enough conversations with the dog and parrots to hold me for quite a while. Lion gets stir crazy, even when he’s home for a whole day on a weekend when I’m home too.

Lion mentioned wanting pho for lunch yesterday so I suggested it for dinner tonight. It kills two birds with one stone. Lion gets out of the house and neither of us has to cook. As he said in his post today, he’s all out of laundry. He wonders what he’ll occupy himself with. I could make a list for him, but that seems rude. There’s plenty to do, but I wouldn’t want him to tell me to do any of it if I was home. I do much better when it’s my idea. Like if we’ve talked about defrosting the freezer for weeks and then suddenly I get the bright idea to do it. Yes, we agreed it needed to be done, but I’m doing it on my terms. That way he’s pleasantly surprised when he gets home and I tell him it’s done. Check one item of the list. Plus, why should he get stuck doing all the things we’ve both been ignoring? That’s not fair.

I know this sort of flies in the face of FLR. Shouldn’t I be able to tell him to get things done? I should make a honey-do list for him. 2.0 should be standing there on the weekends, cracking her whip, making sure the chores get done. Nope. Not going to happen. There’s nothing stopping me from asking if Lion could do a certain project during the day, but I am not going to demand he do things. That’s not me. That’s not how we work.

Tonight, after our dinner outing, I’ll unlock Lion and we’ll see about playing. If he’s not in the mood, we can cuddle again like we did last night. I’m not sure how horny a bored Lion can be. I guess I’ll find out later.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Punishment, Spanking

Our weekend was great. I doubt that most people would find what we did very exciting. We shopped, had lunch at Arby’s and worked on our lawn tractor. Oh yes, Mrs. Lion gave me an orgasm on Sunday night. Yesterday was different. Mrs. Lion went off to work and I had a day alone. She finds it hard to believe that I don’t like that. If I weren’t around, I think she would be a hermit. She finds endless things to do with her computer from Facebook to various online games. I am almost immediately bored with what I find online. I do enjoy reading other FLR and enforced chastity blogs. But that doesn’t eat up too much time.

So I began my Monday by rewatching some episodes of “Mozart in the Jungle” and then did the laundry. I’m yawning writing about it. The highlight of my day was a trip to Safeway supermarket to refill a prescridsption and buy some veggies for dinner. Last night’s culinary triumph was meatloaf, corn on the cob, and sauteed green beans. Are you yawning too? My libido is low since I did come on Sunday night.

I did get a couple of calls from head hunters who were touting jobs that required skills I don’t have. These people do searches on various job sites and do keyword searches. So if my resume has the word “financial” in it, they call me about a financial manager job. They don’t even take the time to skim my resume. I’m not a financial manager. I don’t know SAP and I am not interested in junior jobs paying half what I typically earn; at least not yet. Job hunting is tiring.

One other side effect of all this spare time is that I reflect in detail on recent events. Yesterday I realized that I have been consistently breaking one of Mrs. Lion’s rules. I haven’t been thanking her for spanking me. I don’t feel very thankful, but it is a rule. I will do better. She, on the other hand, has been on the ball. Sunday night when she spanked me, she said something new. After she finished, she said, “Interrupting me annoys me. When I’m annoyed, your butt is sore.” It was.

During my “me” time yesterday, I realized that her statement is pure FLR. She is making me sure that I understand that any time I cause her any grief, the pain will be mine. I may have asked for rules and punishment, but she has made practical use of my request. My lioness is asserting herself. That’s great. I’m proud of her.

Perhaps today will be more interesting. I’m out of laundry so I hope something comes up.