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In: Anal play

As you know, I’m getting Lion ready for the fucking machine Olympics. I’m also getting him ready to take the 2.0 nJoy butt plug. Luckily I can do both at once even though they are two very different “races”. The fucking machine requires the acceptance of a normal sized dildo that penetrates fairly deeply. The nJoy butt plug is short but stocky. It only make sense to give Lion lots of anal attention in both areas. And if I can use a multitasker to do it, all the better.

We have a dildo that is roughly the same width as the 2.0 nJoy. That will stretch Lion out. It’s also as long as the dildo that goes on the fucking machine. Win-win. All the training in one little dildo. And it is little. Compared to a few other dildos we have, the purple one is small. I don’t have any immediate plans to use the larger ones on Lion even though my original intent was to be able to fist him. I guess maybe it is the next logical step. If he can take the purple one he should be able to take the larger ones with more training. I just don’t know how far I want to push things. I know there is a limit to how far Lion wants me to push things considering it’s his ass I’m pushing those things into. However, it’s not his choice, is it?

This afternoon he’ll find himself strapped into the sling. I’ll warm him up with a smaller dildo and then probably step up to the purple one. I say probably because things don’t always go according to plan. It all depends on his discomfort level. I will only force him to do things I know he can do. If it becomes too much he needs to tell me. We may be going too far too fast. And that’s ok. I mean, I want him to tell me if it really hurts. There’s certainly a difference between “ow, that hurts” and “Ow! That hurts!” A punishment spanking, for example, hurts but there’s little chance I can do him real harm. There’s a definite possibility of harm if I go jamming a dildo in his ass too quickly or too far. I may be in charge but he needs to communicate the level of pain he’s experiencing and alert me if I need to stop. There’s no shame in stopping me.

Lion has gotten better at being able to take larger things up his ass, but his ass has never met the likes of the purple dildo. It’s enough to make anyone clench.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Punishment

A recent comment from from Matt asked:

Is it really a punishment if he wants it? He should be the one reluctant to receive the punishment. Not you giving it.

Of course the question was directed at Mrs. Lion. He brings up an interesting point. On the face of it, his point makes sense. The person being punished isn’t supposed to want the punishment he is receiving. Right? The person administering it shouldn’t be reluctant to do it. Right too?

Actually, I don’t think that is the case at all. In the context of enforced male chastity and FLR, it’s the male who initiates it. In fantasies, once the female partner takes control, she authors rules and enforces them with clever punishments. This is not likely to be the case in a real situation. Take us, for instance.

I suggested enforced chastity. I also proposed FLR. Mrs. Lion had never given either any real thought. In both cases I told her how I thought it could work. She agreed to try. Still, I am the most motivated partner. So I continue to read and think about how these things could work. Each time I come up with something, I tell her about it. You read about it here as well. She tries some of my ideas. I suggested some of the rules she enforces. She came up with the others. Over the last couple of years I’ve written about punishment and how I think it should work.

Does that mean because I suggested these things, I want them? In a sense it does. Something appealed to me about what I suggested. A good example is semi-public punishment. I thought that would be very helpful and seemed like a hot idea. Mrs. Lion tried it and didn’t like it a bit; neither did I. She wouldn’t have dropped it if she found it acceptable and I didn’t like it. I may suggest a punishment and learn very quickly I hate it.

That’s the big point that Matt might not have considered. The reality of that mean paddle coming down full force on my butt is nothing like the sexy fantasy of my keyholder disciplining me. When she spanks me, my screams are real. I hate every second of those punishment spankings. I know that the femdom/chastity fantasies portray the male as a hapless victim at the mercy of the strict, objectifying mistress. At least in our case, that’s not even within a mile of our reality.

Mrs. Lion and I are partners. We share everything. She isn’t the one who wanted the enforced chastity or FLR. I did. I am the one who researched and suggested ways to do this. She, of course, decides which suggestions to try. She also has more and more ideas of her own. We are evolving. I just don’t think we will ever match those femdom fantasies.

The other point Matt made is that I should be reluctant to be punished, not Mrs. Lion. This is just not the case with us. Mrs. Lion, even 2.0, winces when she hurts me. You naturally don’t want to put a person you love in pain, even if he wants it. I know that as a parent, I always felt reluctant to punish one of my kids. I don’t want to see them unhappy. Mrs. Lion doesn’t want to see me feeling badly even though she knows I asked for it.

There is a big difference between acting out a fantasy and real life. If nothing else, our enforced chastity and FLR are real life.

 

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment, Rules, Spanking
new small paddle
This is the small, purse-sized paddle we ordered. It is thick oak; heavy and painful, according to Lion. (Click image for larger view.)

We went out to eat last night at a deli that Lion loves. They served us pickles before our meal. Lion picked one up and, apparently without thinking, took a bite. I said, “Uh oh!” At first I couldn’t tell if he knew what he did. Then he looked at me with his I’m-in-trouble-now look. He knew he was in for it later, but I made a point of taking out a penny. I dropped it on the table and then put it in my pocket. Lion loves showmanship.

I noticed while we were eating that he didn’t have his collar on. Sometimes he wears it when we’re out. It all depends on if it can be seen easily or not. Last night we left the house as soon as he got home so I knew he didn’t forget it. There just wasn’t time to put it on. I was proud of myself for noticing he didn’t have it on even if it didn’t mean he’d get punished. My pride was short lived though. Once we got home and Lion undressed he forgot his collar. I also forgot. It wasn’t until he said, “Uh oh.” and put it on that I realized our mistake. It’s our mistake because we both forgot. Unfortunately for Lion, I don’t take any of the blame when the paddles starts flying.

We got yet another paddle in the mail the other day. It’s oak, I think, and it’s very small. It’s painted/stained black and has a rougher finish than most of our paddles. To me it looks almost like a hard plastic paddle with woodgrain molded in. I’m not sure I like it. I’ve only used it twice so I may be premature in my review, but something doesn’t feel right about it. More testing needs to be done. Poor Lion.

To his credit, Lion did not make a mess at dinner. He didn’t spill anything on himself. He didn’t spill anything on the table. The only thing he did was growl about the service. In his defense, we had a bad waitress. The owner apologized, saying the deli was quite busy, but we’ve been there when it’s been far busier and service was not as bad. Lion growled sooner than I would have but, truthfully, I’m not sure I would have growled at all. That’s just me though. He did hold it far longer than he would have in the past. I guess my don’t-growl-at-the-wait-staff-who-could-spit-in-your-food suggestions are helping.  [Lion – Actually it’s the don’t-growl-at-the-wait-staff-or-I-will-spank-you threat that kept me quiet as long as I managed.] It took a long time for our order to be taken, a long time for any food (other than pickles) to arrive, and a long time to receive a check. In the end, we never did get the check. Lion complained again and the manager (with the owner’s approval) gave us our meals for free. He agreed that the waitress did a poor job. And Lion maintained a relatively calm demeanor. He didn’t cause a scene. And we were fully prepared to pay for the food. Lion actually went looking for the manager to pay the check. My Lion was a very good boy in a bad situation.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

We are in our third year practicing enforced chastity. That alone is remarkable. Long-term power exchanges are notably difficult to sustain. In the beginning, our agreement to keep going for more than a year assured that neither of us would quit. I thought that the big risk there was that Mrs. Lion would grow bored or, more likely, would feel that the extra effort keeping me “entertained” would be too much trouble. I also wondered if I would get tired of the inconveniences wearing a device presented or perhaps unhappy with the total lack of access to my penis.

Neither of us had any idea how our feelings would change over time. When we started, Mrs. Lion agreed to lock me up because it made me happy; at least I thought it would make me happy. She accepted the kink out of love for me. Over time we discovered added benefits for our relationship. Communication improved and we both felt closer to each other. Somehow enforced chastity had a magical effect on us that we both loved.

This provided a new reason we should continue the practice. Still, Mrs. Lion’s reason for continuing didn’t seem to be based on some deep-seated need of her own. It was now for our relationship’s benefit that we continue. It also made me happy most of the time. I too developed different feelings toward my chastity. I realized that I couldn’t just pull the plug and get unlocked. My lioness made it clear that is unacceptable to her Her stated reason: she didn’t want to risk losing the extra closeness we had gained.

The fact that I am not submissive by nature became more apparent, at least to me, when I thought about this new development. Deep down I was convinced that I wore a chastity device because it was my choice. Realizing the choice was no longer mine gave me some uneasy moments. I continue to have moments when I realize anew that I will remain locked up as long as Mrs. Lion wants and I get that uneasy feeling in my stomach. Permanent enforced chastity isn’t a lifelong dream come true. It was a hot fantasy that turned out to be better in real life. Permanent surrender of sexual control wasn’t part of my original fantasy.

In the meantime, Mrs. Lion, particularly Lioness 2.0, appears to have internalized her sexual power. When it comes to sexually stimulating me, I rarely here her famous words, “If  you want.” She doesn’t ask me what I want. I get what she wants to do.

A few weeks ago I asked her if she wanted a “key” to wear around her neck. Actually, it’s a security screw removal tool that opens the Jail Bird. She agreed she would like that. I ordered it and we got it a couple of weeks ago. She bought a leather necklace and put the tool on it. I wondered if she really wanted to wear this symbol of sexual control. I figured she would put it on occasionally when we were together. I was wrong. She’s been wearing it to work almost every day.

Is this a sign that my sweet lioness has internalized our power exchange? I think it might mean that. Even though we have been at this for a while, we are still processing what it means to take enforced chastity out of the status of a sexual game and into an ingrained component of our marriage.

The evidence is mounting that we are making good progress in this direction. I don’t think that I will ever be completely comfortable with surrender. I don’t want to masturbate or have sex with anyone else. I’m comfortable with that. I am still resisting the sense that I have no choices sexually. Mrs. Lion makes it easy for me to make this internal transition. Even though she is much more confident in her control, she remains very aware of what I like and plans activities with that in mind.

Of course as 2.0 is around more and more, the balance between what I like and what she feels like doing is tipping in her direction. For example, 2.0 set a goal of having me ride our fucking machine with a dildo up my ass. Since I am not very prepared anally, she has been expanding my anal horizons several times a week. She informed me that maybe this weekend I will take my first ride. 2.0 is going to get to her goal. Mrs. Lion is making sure the trip isn’t too horrible for me. She is moving me in the direction she wants at a speed I can manage.

She is moving toward fully internalizing her role. I am making progress accepting mine. This is a slow trip. There’s no rush. It’s been made abundantly clear to me that we aren’t ever going to stop.