A recent comment from from Matt asked:
Is it really a punishment if he wants it? He should be the one reluctant to receive the punishment. Not you giving it.
Of course the question was directed at Mrs. Lion. He brings up an interesting point. On the face of it, his point makes sense. The person being punished isn’t supposed to want the punishment he is receiving. Right? The person administering it shouldn’t be reluctant to do it. Right too?
Actually, I don’t think that is the case at all. In the context of enforced male chastity and FLR, it’s the male who initiates it. In fantasies, once the female partner takes control, she authors rules and enforces them with clever punishments. This is not likely to be the case in a real situation. Take us, for instance.
I suggested enforced chastity. I also proposed FLR. Mrs. Lion had never given either any real thought. In both cases I told her how I thought it could work. She agreed to try. Still, I am the most motivated partner. So I continue to read and think about how these things could work. Each time I come up with something, I tell her about it. You read about it here as well. She tries some of my ideas. I suggested some of the rules she enforces. She came up with the others. Over the last couple of years I’ve written about punishment and how I think it should work.
Does that mean because I suggested these things, I want them? In a sense it does. Something appealed to me about what I suggested. A good example is semi-public punishment. I thought that would be very helpful and seemed like a hot idea. Mrs. Lion tried it and didn’t like it a bit; neither did I. She wouldn’t have dropped it if she found it acceptable and I didn’t like it. I may suggest a punishment and learn very quickly I hate it.
That’s the big point that Matt might not have considered. The reality of that mean paddle coming down full force on my butt is nothing like the sexy fantasy of my keyholder disciplining me. When she spanks me, my screams are real. I hate every second of those punishment spankings. I know that the femdom/chastity fantasies portray the male as a hapless victim at the mercy of the strict, objectifying mistress. At least in our case, that’s not even within a mile of our reality.
Mrs. Lion and I are partners. We share everything. She isn’t the one who wanted the enforced chastity or FLR. I did. I am the one who researched and suggested ways to do this. She, of course, decides which suggestions to try. She also has more and more ideas of her own. We are evolving. I just don’t think we will ever match those femdom fantasies.
The other point Matt made is that I should be reluctant to be punished, not Mrs. Lion. This is just not the case with us. Mrs. Lion, even 2.0, winces when she hurts me. You naturally don’t want to put a person you love in pain, even if he wants it. I know that as a parent, I always felt reluctant to punish one of my kids. I don’t want to see them unhappy. Mrs. Lion doesn’t want to see me feeling badly even though she knows I asked for it.
There is a big difference between acting out a fantasy and real life. If nothing else, our enforced chastity and FLR are real life.