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In: Punishment

Lion always tells me he wants punishment swats. He may not want them at the time they happen, but he wants them. He doesn’t want diapers, but he wants me to tell him to wear diapers. He says it’s good for him to do these things. I guess it’s like me and vegetables. I know I should eat them. They’re good for me. But do I really want to go out of my way to eat them? You establish rules for your kids because the world has rules and they need to get in the habit of following them. They may say it’s not fair and you’ll likely tell them that life isn’t fair. Some people call this tough love. Kids certainly don’t want your rules. Lion wants my rules.

I’ve never been much of a rule maker. As Lion says, the rules I made him at first were silly made up rules. Nothing of any consequence. So what if he dropped ice cubes. Really? That’s a rule? Not so much anymore. He suggested being naked because before we moved in together he thought it was important that he was ready for me when I arrived. That morphed into always being naked. The other rules we have are mostly out of necessity. Lion is a messy eater. To try to clean him up a bit I made the rule about dropping food on himself. Waiting to eat until I have eaten just seems like good manners. And the interrupting thing came out of a pet peeve. He would constantly interrupt me, usually saying the exact thing I was just about to say. And, of course, I can punish him if he annoys me.

I think the hardest part about punishing Lion is when he complains about it. Not that I don’t expect him to complain. I’m not saying that. A certain amount is to be expected. I don’t think he should be happy that I’m about to make his butt burn. But I still get hung up on the fact that I’m about to hurt him. 1.0 is definitely still out there trying to be nice to him. Once 2.0 shows up, there’s no problem. She can laugh at him. Really? Don’t want your butt whomped? Then why did you do X? Really? Does your butt still sting? Huh. I guess you shouldn’t have done Y.

The good thing (bad for Lion) is that 2.0 seems to be showing up more often. I think she’s here to stay. Until she morphs into 3.0. Who knows what she’ll be like.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

Mrs. Lion and I were interviewed by the Huffington Post a couple of weeks ago. They will be publishing a podcast tomorrow that features that interview. Of course, we discuss enforced male chastity. We discussed whether we wanted to be interviewed in a podcast. We are reasonably anonymous here on the blog. You will be able to hear our voices in the podcast.

This interview explored why we practice enforced chastity and the benefits we get from it. We were given a chance to articulate how enforced chastity works for us. We are honored that such a prominent online publication chose to interview us. Once we are notified of publication tomorrow, we will put a link to the interview on the Journal.

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As a result of the interview, I’ve been reflecting on our experiences with the enforced chastity and FLR power exchanges. You might have noticed that my recent posts were more reflective than usual. In particular, I’ve been thinking about why these power exchanges work so well for us. Two years ago I would have said that we might not succeed with enforced chastity. The odds were against us.

First: Mrs. Lion had no real experience with power exchange. Yes, many years ago we had done some BDSM play where she spanked me and did other toppish things. But there was no dominant or submissive role for either of us. I had years of experience in the dominant role and some experience switching as a bottom for play sessions. I had no real need to submit to anyone.

Second: Mrs. Lion actively avoided being in a position of power. Both at work and in her personal life she prefers to “go along” and not make waves. I, on the other hand, am a professional manager and naturally tend to take the leadership role.

Third: Mrs. Lion was indifferent about chastity devices and other BDSM toys. She isn’t repelled by them, but  never had an independent desire to be kinky. She always describes me as the guy her mother warned her about. I’ve had a lifelong interest in BDSM and the toys it involves. For almost two decades, from the moment I discovered them, I found chastity devices arousing.

Fourth: When I introduced her to enforced chastity, I had no plan to be forced to wait for an orgasm any longer than I wanted. When Mrs. Lion agreed to do it, she did it exactly the way I wanted because her goal was just to make me happy. She got nothing out of her role or my frustration.

Given this start, neither of us had much hope this would be more than another lion fad. In the past, I have had fantasies that I asked Mrs. Lion to bring to life. This time it was different. We started out pretty much the same way as we did with my previous “ideas”. She locked me in a device I had found on the Net. She unlocked me and masturbated me when I got horny. She unlocked me when a device got uncomfortable. I ordered a custom device (Jail Bird from Mature Metal). While we were waiting for it, we both got very impatient with the uncomfortable, hard to get on and off device I bought online.

We also started this blog. Between the blog and emails, we explored our feelings and my vision of enforced chastity. After we had been at it for a few weeks, I realized that I wanted Mrs. Lion to take charge of my sexuality. Neither of us were very sure what that meant, but as I suggested things, my sweet lioness agreed.

There were lots of experiments that we chronicled here. Some worked and others didn’t. Very slowly, the power exchange became real. We also noticed that our intimacy and communications were noticeably improved. Mrs. Lion decided that enforced chastity was an important feature of our marriage. Without any fanfare or awareness on our parts, Mrs. Lion decided that if I wanted out of enforced chastity, I wasn’t going to get it. In the beginning (January 2014), we agreed that we would continue enforced chastity until March 2016. We agreed that we would review it at that point and decide to either continue or quit. I’m not sure at the time that either of us really believed that we wold get to that date.

Six months before that date, we agreed we would not stop. In January 2016, Mrs. Lion announced that I was in enforced chastity for life and that she was going to take a much more active role as my keyholder and disciplining wife. She called that Lioness 2.0.

Now we are in a new phase of growth. 2.0 is getting her sea legs and things are tightening up in terms of our power exchange. I’m still not a bit submissive, but I am learning to be more obedient. Mrs. Lion is shedding her “go with the flow” attitude in favor of a more decisive lioness who is getting comfortable directing me. We’ve added FLR and domestic discipline (if you don’t know what those things are, just put your mouse on the terms for a definition). We are in the very early stages of those practices.

After our Huffington Post interview, I think we both were a bit surprised at how much we have changed as individuals and as a couple. More surprising is that what started as a kink evolved into a tool that is transforming our relationship. I’m sure we will continue to evolve. 2.0 is far more assertive and willing to come up with her own ways of doing things. My influence is still strong but is now clearly superseded by 2.0’s veto. I’m glad we were asked to discuss our adventure in enforced chastity. Aside from feeling honored, we both found that telling our story gave us a chance to reflect on our progress.

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In: Mrs Lion Comments, Spanking
silicone slapper
This is the silicone slapper that we ordered. It is only 10 1/2 inches long so it will conveniently fit purse or car. Click the image to visit the selling web site.

Yesterday I browsed some websites for new paddles. I was looking for one that could fit in my bag so Lion’s buns can potentially be whomped when we’re out and about. I found a few nice ones, but ultimately I decided I’ll use the hairbrush without the bristles. It’s small enough but still one mean little sucker.

I showed Lion the other paddles I found and I think he ordered a few of them. One is a silicone slapper with different textures on the ends. I’m not at all sure the textures will be a factor but it looks nasty. Another one I found is leather and has metal studs on it. I’m fairly sure Lion will feel those studs. The slapper is short and the leather one is longer. Both can cause a lot of trouble for a Lion butt.

I whomped that Lion butt last night for being grumpy Sunday night. I know he thinks I let my friends disrespect me, but I see Sunday as being mostly my fault. I should have double checked the meeting place. I shouldn’t have waited so long to verify things. And just because I hate to be late to meet people, that doesn’t mean other people aren’t consistently late meeting me. Maybe it’s a character flaw, but not everyone is on time. Sometimes I have to light a fire under Lion’s butt to get him moving so we’re not late. My version of being on time is being at least fifteen minutes early. Most people don’t share that view.

studded leather paddle we ordered. this will definitely get lion's attention. it's nearly 15 inches long. click image to visit selling web site.
Studded leather paddle we ordered. This will definitely get Lion’s attention. It’s nearly 15 inches long. Click image to visit selling web site.

So Lion got his buns roasted fairly early in the evening. He wondered if that meant he would be getting a second round of swats later on. No. I just wanted to make sure there was a separation between punishment and play. Sometimes I do them too close together and I worry the pain from the punishment blurs into the play. Not that I usually do spanking on punishment nights, but if he’s distracted by the pain of the swats while I’m trying to do something else, he can’t pay attention to the clothespins or whatever I’m doing.

I’m also going to work on doing the punishment closer to the crime. That won’t always work, but we can try. Ironically, I almost had Lion put the shock collar on before we went out Sunday. I could have zapped him at the first sign of trouble. Unfortunately I decided to be nice. I guess I was in 1.0 mode even though, in the back of my mind, I knew I needed to be in 2.0 mode. Live and learn.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Punishment

Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday shows how completely both enforced chastity and FLR are integrated into our relationship. She described a problem we had Sunday night. I won’t go into it again. You can read about it in her post. I had misbehaved; not in the classic BDSM-like way, but in a real-life,  grumpy lion way. In many marriages an incident like this would have turned into a fight or bad feelings that would extend over days.

Even though we aren’t very advanced in FLR, we are far enough along that instead of the silent treatment or hours of passive aggressive anger, the problem was managed with a penny. Yesterday, punishment day, she informed me that I had a penny in my naughty-lion bank. I would be spanked for my grumpy behavior Sunday night.

That may not sound like a big deal, but it is. The incident in question was completely unrelated to enforced chastity or any rules I have to follow. Instead, it was a marital bump caused by the different ways we handle unexpected things. The fact that Mrs. Lion was very accepting of a more-than-an-hour wait for the friend to show up was annoying, not to mention the fact we sat in the car outside a hotel for that hour. When the friend finally sent a text that she was there but couldn’t find us, we learned that we were at the wrong hotel. We spent another twenty minutes going to the correct one.

I was very angry. Mrs. Lion wasn’t. In her mind, shit happens. In mine, it was thoughtlessness on the part of the friend combined with bad planning. Sound like a situation that would bring on a fight? It didn’t. I was grumpy for a while. I learned the consequence for that the next morning.

It doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong. Mrs. Lion recognizes that very well. I upset her and that is all that counts. I didn’t try to argue with her. I would have in the past. I’ve learned that she has the last word on everything; even things I am sure I am right about. I kept my mouth shut. I just fumed silently. That fuming earned me a sore bottom last night.

I agree that I deserved it. FLR is about real-life surrender to my disciplining wife. Before this incident I privately wondered if either of us had internalized our power exchange. Apparently we are starting to do it now. If we were more advanced, Mrs. Lion would have told me to stop acting like a baby and suck it up and would have spanked me right there on the spot. That’s the next step, I think.

At some point we will figure out how to make punishment come closer to the event that earned it. For the time being, we have punishment nights. They are effective to me and work for her. Power exchanges are a funny thing; once they start to take root, they grow faster and faster and often go in directions neither person expected. Stay tuned.