I Actually Missed It
Would you believe it? I actually missed wearing my chastity device. I didn’t discover that until I was locked up again.
Monday night, I lost my status as a wild lion. Mrs. Lion locked me up again in my Jail Bird chastity device. It was sort of a joint decision. I brought it up and Mrs. Lion agreed it might be a good idea to lock me up again. Within a few minutes of returning to my cage, I mentioned that being locked up may not be such a good idea. Predictably, with a small smile, Mrs. Lion said,
“I don’t really think you have a choice.”
I figured that since I got locked up at my request, I should be able to be unlocked at my request as well. Oh no. I guess that eight months of being wild made me think that wearing a chastity device was up to me. Truth be known, I like how it feels to be wearing it again.
There is, however, one thing I enjoyed while wild: I could get hard at any time. There were the normal morning wood erections. But there were some that I helped along. It isn’t something I do all the time, but it’s nice to exercise and get hard now and then. As far as I know, I’m not breaking a rule. Those days are gone.
The Jail Bird is very comfortable and doesn’t hurt at all when it prevents erections. It’s effective and painless.
Wearing a chastity device is admittedly my fetish. Unlike other fetishes, once Mrs. Lion locks me up, it stops being controllable by me. At that point, does it stop being my thing and does it become Mrs. Lion’s? I think that’s the case. It’s a physical manifestation of her sexual control. That’s a big reason why I like it.
I would argue that the chastity device is not a big part of orgasm control. I’m able to avoid giving myself an orgasm when wild. We both know that. The chastity device, for me at least, is a continuous reminder of our power exchange. Now that I’m caged again, I realize how much I like that feeling.
Once I was conditioned to not provide myself with sexual release, the hardware stopped being necessary to enforce my abstinence. That was proven in the last eight months while I was wild. There were no “slips” even when I was made to wait 28 days. We can rule out enforcing orgasm control as a benefit of wearing the device. At one time it also served to remind Mrs. Lion to pay sexual attention to me. She no longer needs that reminder.
I llike being wild. But I think there is a real, if intangible, benefit of wearing a chastity device. For one thing, even though the device is comfortable, I always know it’s there. It reminds me that my penis is not mine any more. I can’t even rub it a little and make it hard. It also is a little humiliating to know that my lioness makes me wear this obvious symbol of her control. I can’t remove it. Well, maybe I can, but I won’t.
Panties and diapers are other humiliation tools at Mrs. Lion’s disposal. She rarely uses them (Too bad.). The chastity device, however, is there twenty-four hours a day, every day. It only comes off for brief intervals when Mrs. Lion wants access to her penis. The cage effectively transfers ownership of a part of my body to Mrs. Lion. It’s a transfer I can’t revoke. I like that.
Early Christmas Present?
Lion said he was horny. He said maybe he needed to be locked up. This was a change. The day before he hadn’t been so horny. And it’s been weeks since he’s mentioned needing to be locked up.
Personally I didn’t think he seemed very horny last night. He did get hard relatively quickly but the intense desire to come was missing. I edged him orally and got him close. There just didn’t seem to be an urgency to it. Despite that, he again said he was very horny and might need to be locked up. OK. I’m game. Back into the cage he goes.
I assume work is quiet. Lion is home this week. Of course there’s nothing he can’t do at home that he can do at work. Most of his meetings are phone calls or video conferences. He could be in Iceland or Australia and still work as long as he has an internet connection. So locking him up right now shouldn’t cause any problems. He doesn’t need to worry about peeing all over clothes he’s not wearing any. He can freely adjust himself without worrying about people seeing. There’s only the dog and she doesn’t care.
After I locked him away he said something to the effect of “I don’t really think I need to be locked up.” To which I replied, “I don’t really think you have a choice.” Was he trying to see if I’d actually lock him up and then had second thoughts when I did? I guess he got his answer.
How long will he stay locked up? I don’t know. Per our original agreement, I am bound to unlock him and play with him every other day. But that’s not the real question. The real question is the permanency of the cage now that it’s back on. Is it just for the week he’s home? Is it for the rest of 2017? Will it remain on (except for traveling and doctor appointments) long into 2018? Did I just lock him up because he was “daring” me to? [Lion – I can be locked for travel too. I have a trip coming up that might be a chance to experience that.]
You already know my answer. We’ll see how it goes. I might decide the cage is necessary. I might not. At the very least I’ve sent a message to Lion.
The Best Way To Get Her To Start Male Chastity
I spent some time reading items I found after a Google search on male chastity. The vast majority of what came up are posts that are clearly written by people still in the pink haze of sexual fantasy. The thing is, these fantasies represent a male sexual fantasy.
Remember, male chastity is generally a game for two. To get started, the guy has to find a keyholder. Usually that’s his partner. He is obsessed by chastity devices. He’s been reading all about them. He may have even bought one. So, his conversation with his partner centers around putting hardware around his penis and locking it.
There are few, if any women who are particularly interested in chastity hardware. This includes Mrs. Lion. She locked me up because she wanted to make me happy; not because she likes the idea of my cock behind bars. I’m the one who likes that idea.
The reason for a chastity device, other than satisfying a sexual bondage kink, is to enforce orgasm control. Orgasm control? Yes, that’s what male chastity is all about. Just as BDSM isn’t based on tying someone up and then untying them. It’s abut what you do after they are restrained.
When you ask your partner to lock you up, the real request is to control your ejaculation and lock you in a device. You are asking for two very different agreements from your partner. This complicates things on your initial approach. I suspect this is why so many requests to a vanilla partner fail.
I know what you’re thinking. “But I want to wear a chastity device and be sexually controlled by my partner.”
I realize that. But there is a learning curve for her. Give her time to get used to the idea of a power exchange before you introduce the hardware. That’s quite a lot all by itself.
My suggestion is to talk to her about your desire to give her more control over sex. Ask her to be in charge of if and when you can come. There is no question that a discussion will follow. this request. She will want to understand what you are asking. That’s fair. This conversation will make all the difference. Here’s how it might go:
You: “I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. It would be very sexy for me if you decide when I get to come.”
Her: “What do you mean?”
You: “I think it would be very exciting if you not let me come every time when we have sex. Let me please you, but you stop me before I can come. Also, I won’t masturbate.”
Her: “You masturbate? How often?”
(You probably didn’t think about this part.)
You: (Be totally honest!) “I jerk off a couple of times a week when I get horny.”
Her: “I didn’t realize that. So, you are saying that you won’t do that any more ?”
You: “Yes, and I want you to make me wait to have an orgasm.”
Her: “Why in the world would you want me to do this?”
You: “It’s very exciting for me to feel your control. I love the idea of you making me wait before I get to come. Believe it or not, it turns me on.”
Her: “How long do you want to wait?”
You: “That’s up to you. But maybe start with a week?”
Her: “Really? A week?”
You: “Yes.”
Her: “What do I have to do?”
You: “If you want sex, I can please you. Just don’t let me come until the time you’ve decided. You can also tease me too. At least, that’s how my fantasies go.”
Her: “I don’t want to be mean to you.”
You: “You aren’t being mean. You are doing something I really want.”
It probably won’t go exactly like this, but you get the idea. She’ll want to know exactly what you mean, why you want this, and then how you expect it to work. The discussion is confined to orgasm control and nothing else. It’s very tempting to ask for more. Don’t. Avoid getting too deeply into your fantasies. Keep hardware out of the conversation.
When you think about it, the key part of this power exchange is controlling your orgasms, not locking your cock in a chastity device. If she agrees to try it, keep it about frustrating you. Let her see how much you like this. Over time, you can introduce edging and other teasing. It won’t be long before you can also suggest a chastity device. Again, the reason you want it is because it turns you on to wear one.
Keep away from the so-called benefits of orgasm control. Don’t suggest you will want to do housework. Don’t say you will be more sexually attentive to her because you are frustrated. No woman wants to learn that your interest in her is based on her stopping you from coming.
I suggest that if she agrees, you stop there. Obviously, you have to be honest and not jerk off. Don’t obsess over this. Resist endless comments about how horny you are. If she wants intercourse, remind her of your agreement. Ask her if she wants you to stop before you ejaculate. Offer to give her oral sex for her orgasm.
There is a lot of additional conversation that will be needed to help her understand what you want. Resist the impulse to discuss this. Let her get used to the idea. Gentle reminders of your agreement are fine if needed when she wants sex. Otherwise, just answer he questions. Don’t drive her crazy with anxiety about the power exchange,.
I realize this is very different from advice you may have read in the past. But, think about it. You are asking for a big change in your sex life. The simpler you make it, the easier it will be for her to accept it and actually do it. She will ask questions when she is ready. Resist the temptation to show her websites, including this one.
One more point: Don’t ask her by email. I see a lot of sites that give you a form you can send her. Ask her in person, face to face.
Here’s the next step: Asking your partner to lock you up.
Sabotage
The thought occurs to me that Lion thinks too much. It’s possible he’s sabotaging himself. He may be so worried about my not getting any enjoyment out of the things we do that he can’t enjoy them either.
I’m not suggesting he should have enjoyed the figging and pegging yesterday. Mr. Weenie has reacted favorable in the past at times, but that doesn’t mean it always happens. And I really did a number on him this time. Actually, a few numbers. He expressed concern that I usually stop when he indicates he’s in pain. I don’t necessarily. In light of his concern, I decided to make an extra effort to convince him I don’t stop at the first sign of pain.
Once the big dildo was in and he was used to it (as much as he can be), I alternated between 50 short, quick strokes and 10 long, slow strokes. I saw him wincing so I know he was not having fun. Why did I decide 50 and 10? No idea. It just popped into my head so I did it. Did I have fun doing it? I wouldn’t call it fun but I figured it was a challenge for both of us as Lion suggested in his post. Can we top our high score of 50 short, quick strokes and 10 long, slow strokes next time? I guess we’ll find out.
I doubt his not being able to get hard can be blamed entirely on pegging or his overthinking. It’s quite possible he’s just in another slump. When we snuggle and he’s not aroused he tends to apologize to me. Maybe I should punish him when he apologizes. There’s really no need. I’d rather he tell me he’s not interested than having me try to no avail. I don’t want to make either one of us sore.
The bottom line is that I like doing things for him. It makes me happy to make him happy. I may not seem as receptive to playing sometimes but I think it’s normal for me to have slumps just like Lion has slumps. Of course his slumps make play impossible. Mine don’t have to.
[Lion – My slumps don’t make play impossible. My anus is always available to Mrs. Lion. I may not want a visit from the dildo, but that’s irrelevant.”]
