Hurty Things
I’ve been thinking about our power exchange. There he goes! Lion is overthinking again.
Maybe, but what the hell. In many femdom relationships, the woman can use her own sexual reactions to find things she likes in her role. I’m pretty sure that, contrary to male fantasies, it doesn’t include watching him iron or mopping the kitchen floor. It can include watching him suffer for her.
Alas, right now at least, nothing gets Mrs. Lion wet except direct stimulation which she doesn’t want. How does she know what dominant activities to inflict on me?
Her response is that she does what she knows I like. Well, more correctly, what I say is play I want. She’s basing her activity on what ultimately turns me on. That is a truly altruistic form of femdom. She’s making my BDSM dreams come true.
I’m not complaining. But it does bother me that all this stuff is just for my benefit. It makes me feel like I’m just another chore like the laundry or making breakfast. They are done out of love and aren’t any fun for her.
One of Mrs. Lion’s favorite activities is playing games on her iPad. These games frequently have her sliding objects around on the touch screen. I asked her what she enjoyed about playing them. She replied that she likes the challenge and tries to go to the next level, and the level after that.
That gave me an idea. Why not think of the things she does to me as challenges? For example, pegging. She’s been increasing the diameter of dildos at my request. What if she stops caring what I request. What if she considers me a live game. How much longer can she peg me before I can’t take it? All she needs for this part of the game is a clock. And, of course, either remember or note the furthest she has pushed me.
The same is true of hurty things. We have lots of toys for this game. The most extreme form is how many and how long can I take those tiny clothespins on the head of my cock. I hate them and never want to have them there. That makes them a very good game. Possibly, each sling session is a new start to the game. Keeping track only needs to include how long they were on and how many were used.
Hot stuff on my balls is another possibility too. She usually lets me out of the sling to wash the stuff off if I complain too much. Not letting me out too easily will give her a way to measure my progress at accepting pain from her.
I’m not suggesting that everything that happens when I’m restrained should be miserable for me. That would be extremely unfair; at least I think so. But then, who asked me?
My entire point is that this post has nothing to do with what I like or don’t like. It isn’t about what turns me on. I’m not asking Mrs. Lion to do more or less of anything.
I’m trying to offer ideas on how to make those play sessions more interesting for her, just like the games she so loves to play. I’m hoping she can find a way to want to get me restrained so she can see if she can get to the next level in the hurty game. It’s a chance for her to do something that’s for her pleasure, not necessarily mine.
What I get out of this is much more than learning to handle more and more discomfort. I get true engagement from Mrs. Lion. I’m not the only reason she straps me into the sling. She’s booting up her Lion game.
Mrs. Lion read my post after I wrote it. She thinks I may have made a similar suggestion in the past. I probably have. When you write 1,800 posts, you can get a bit repetitive. In any case, she received these suggestions with no enthusiasm. She won’t be taking them. I’m glad. When we played yesterday afternoon, she had some ginger prepared and gave me a good figging. My ass burned! She followed that up with lots of lube and a long visit by that extra-large (2″ diameter0 Tantus dildo.
For the first time, I was unable to get hard after the figging and pegging. I had no problem before she started. When I went upstairs after all this activity, there was precum on the head of my penis. It was a surprise to me since I was not feeling turned on at all. It may be that intense pegging removes my interest in sex.
Uh oh, now no one is getting turned on.
The New Punishments
In this morning’s post, Lion was wondering how I could choose things that we use in play to be punishment for him. What else am I supposed to do? Lion’s been around the block a few times. I’m pretty sure there aren’t too many things I could do to him that haven’t been done already. The only two that come to mind are Velcro and the tiny clothespins.
When Lion asked how I’d punish him for multiple infractions while at the movies, I had to think fast. He needed to be deterred from thinking he could break the rule once and get away with making more comments with no repercussions. Harder spanking wouldn’t really work. I decided to add different things to spanking.
It’s true that I already make him sit on the punishment stool sometimes and I’ve soaped his mouth. At that point in time it was what Lion called dessert. A little after-punishment amuse bouche to cleanse the palate. There’s absolutely no reason I can’t use those things as actual punishment. And there’s no reason I couldn’t sit him in the corner instead of spanking him. I’m directing this show. I can write it and rewrite it however I see fit.
I may never use those things as separate punishment. I may choose something entirely different. (I’m thinking menthol and capsaicin rubs are begging to be used as punishment.) Or I could combine any number of things depending on the crime and severity. If I think he’s pushing my buttons I might just push his right back. He knows a hard spanking isn’t the worst I have to throw at him. He’s made sure of that. Silly boy. I mean, who voluntarily buys harsher and harsher rubs to be used on him?
Ouch!
In her most recent post, Mrs. Lion talked about escalating punishments for multiple offenses. Her post responded to mine (“Serial Punishments“). She suggested that she could just add new elements to my punishment: time on the painful punishment stool, mouth soaping, and tiny clothespins on the head of my cock.
We briefly discussed this after I read the post. A couple of things concerned me: Sitting on the punishment stool after a spanking as well as mouth soaping are both things she does now as part of punishment for a single offense. The tiny clothespins (made for dollhouse play) have only been used as part of a BDSM scene. It’s true that they are terribly painful and could certainly be part of punishment. It’s just that they’ll be used in a new context.
That shouldn’t bother me too much. Spanking was always part of our play scenes. It successfully made the transition for dual use. I suppose the same will be true for those clothespins. I’m definitely afraid of them. Two are horribly painful. I have no idea how more would feel. Worse yet, they hurt more coming off than they do going on.
We didn’t play in the sling yesterday afternoon. We ended up doing some needed shopping and then out to dinner at a Chinese dumpling restaurant. During our shopping trip, we stopped at an oriental market. I got an eggroll and Mrs. Lion checked out the fresh ginger. She reported that there was nothing of appropriate size. Fortunately, we have some in the refrigerator. We spent the evening watching TV, snuggling and relaxing. We had a good day together.
Today, we will undoubtedly end up in the dungeon. I know pegging is on the menu, perhaps ginger too. Though the ginger will have to be the appetizer. Once the lube goes in for pegging, it will insulate against the “warming” effects of the ginger.
And now for something completely different.
I get several emails a week from chefsteps.com. I found this site when I researched sous vide cooking. This is a “modernist” cooking method that is nothing short of miraculous. To use this method, you need a sous vide machine. This is a very accurately controlled heating device with a circulating pump that is capable of holding water in a vessel at a precise temperature.
The way it works is simple. If you heat the water to the temperature that you want your final cook to be; for example, medium-rare steak is 139 degrees F, then immerse the meat sealed in a plastic bag, it can stay in the meat for hours and never overcook. Just take the steak out of the bag and sear it on both sides. You get a perfectly cooked steak.
Anyway, chefsteps has clear, detailed instructions for all sorts of foods. Yesterday I read about and watched videos on how to prepare a standing rib roast. I could never replicate what I saw them do; at least not without a bunch of tries. Given that this meat goes for about $15/lb, I can’t afford too many test runs.
However, I’ve learned other useful stuff on that site. I love being on their mailing list. Even if I never cook much that they demonstrate, I am entertained by simply learning about new ways to cook. It’s a non-sexual expression of my curiosity.
In case you wondered, we are having a turkey breast for our holiday dinner. Mrs. Lion isn’t very fond of roast beef and I don’t like ham. So, when it comes to festive dinners, we are left with turkey. Before living with Mrs. Lion, I cooked goose (meh) and duck (yum!). Both are considerable trouble and my lioness prefers simpler fare.
I’m fine with that. I love turkey. More importantly, I love her.
The List Could Go On and On
We wound up not going to see Star Wars this morning. After hearing about the throngs of people who’ve been mobbing theaters for the past few days, we decided we didn’t really want to get up early on a Saturday to fight for parking to see a movie we really don’t care about. Instead, we’ll go shopping to fight for parking to buy food we sort of need. Actually grocery stores aren’t mobbed yet. They’ll get that way closer to Christmas.
Not seeing the movie frees up more of the day for errands and Lion play. I assume he’ll be somewhat receptive to sling time. And you know what? Even if he’s not he may just get ordered into the sling for some pegging and other activities. Maybe by tomorrow he’ll be hornier and more interested in having Mr. Weenie played with but horniness is not required to be pegged.
Lion posed an interesting question the other day that I never addressed. He wondered, in light of my idea that he would get punished for any untoward comments made at the movie, if he could make a lot of comments and still just be punished the one time. Seemingly one spanking would take into account one comment or a spree of comments as opposed to the training collar which could be used to zap him once for each comment. I hadn’t really thought about it. However, I could add to the spanking. If the punishment for one comment was spanking then the punishment for two comments could be spanking plus corner time. For three comments it could be spanking plus corner time plus mouth soaping. Four comments could be spanking, corner time, mouth soaping and tiny clothespins on the head of Mr. Weenie. The list could go on and on.
I assume Lion would not want to risk sitting in the corner with a sore butt, on the punishment stool, on the welcome mat with soap in his mouth and those nasty little clothespins on my weenie. Yes, that’s a lot to happen all at once but would it be any better if the tiny clothespins happened after corner time and mouth soaping? I might give him a choice of how he wanted it to happen but wouldn’t it be a better choice to not make the comments at all and avoid punishment altogether?
