Under The Tree
It’s Christmas eve. We have an empty nest. All of our cubs are far away. We both like the idea of Christmas lights and a tree in the living room. We talked about decorating a few times. Then we looked at one another and decided it wasn’t worth the trouble. Of course, our house is surrounded by 150 foot cedar and pine trees. So, in a real way, we have holiday trees all year round.
I love sentimental movies. The TV schedules are loaded with them. “Miracle on 34th Street” and “It’s A Wonderful Life” never fail to bring a tear to my eye.
Mrs. Lion and I are going to have our own Christmas dinner for two. We’ll have a turkey breast, stuffing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, homemade cranberry sauce, and pie for dessert. I’m looking forward to cooking.
It’s uncharacteristically cold here. Today it’s in the high 30’s F. Our winters are generally warmer and wetter. When the sun comes out, all the nice warmth that rolls in from the Pacific ocean rises up and draws cold air from Canada in to chill us. Like many homes in this area, our heat pump isn’t really up to keeping us warm when the mercury goes below freezing. I’m very lucky that Mrs. Lion lets me wear a t-shirt on days like this.
I suspect that very few guys find chastity devices under their Christmas trees. Wouldn’t it be cool if a loving wife who refused to lock her man, secretly planned to surprise him with a chastity device on Christmas morning? Maybe saying yes too quickly is a mistake. What a great gift opportunity a chastity device would be.
It’s too bad that this doesn’t happen. I can just imagine how magical that would feel. Christmas is a time for wishes to come true. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, hoping that soon a chastity device would be there.
Sexual wish fulfillment is rarely considered a gift for this holiday season. Too bad. I know, this is a wholesome, family-friendly holiday. Children are at its nexus. That doesn’t mean Mrs. Klaus can’t surprise Santa at bedtime. Or, visa versa.
Mmmmmmm Bacon
The dog woke me up a few times this morning to go out. At one point Lion was awake when I came back to bed. He said he was dreaming about bacon and it made him try to get hard. He never knew bacon made him horny. Obviously I had to make bacon for breakfast! We also had one of Lion’s favorites – blueberry walnut pancakes.
Last night I punished Lion for eating first and spilling food on himself a few nights before. I used a wooden spoon. When I’d gotten him sufficiently rosy I used a hairbrush to exact the interest on the punishment loan he required when he was too cold to come out from under the blankets. The wooden spoon was used in true punishment fashion – mostly light swats with a few hard thrown in. The interest was four hard swats. I used a different implement and harder swats to dissuade him from taking out punishment loans on a regular basis.
A while later I unlocked him and worked on getting him hard. It took a little bit but I was rewarded with a nice erection. I used my hand for a while and then brought out the Magic Wand. Fast or slow, Lion loves that vibrator. Eventually I settled on the speed at which Lion will buck into my hand. He wasn’t exactly bucking but I knew I’d hit his stride. I got him very close several times. I didn’t give him much rest in between either. He was panting when I stopped. I think if I had gone one more stroke he would have come. Too bad.
I let him stay wild for a bit. He’s been asking me if I want him to put the ring on. Sometimes I do forget. Last night I think I might have surprised him by telling him to put it on with no reminder from him.
I’m not quite sure why but the ring has gone on fairly smoothly since I re-caged him. I used to have so much trouble getting the threads lined up. The biggest trouble I have now is convincing Mr. Weenie he needs to stop trying to get hard so I can shove him in to be locked up. He really does have a mind of his own at times.
We Aren’t That Simple
Most of what I write and read about our little corner of the sexual world is about specific things. Things like orgasms, chastity hardware, punishments, erections, and male reactions to them. All are artifacts relating to sexual control.
Most people, male and female, go through life experiencing sex without consciously considering anything more than finding satisfaction. Masturbation, for example, is for many the simplest and ultimately most satisfying form of sex. It’s reliable, fun, and uses imagination to drive desire and satisfaction.
Masturbation control is the most frequent reason that guys give for wanting to start wearing chastity devices. There’s a problem with that claim. It suggests that the guy is unable to control himself and needs hardware to stop. If that’s really true, much more than a chastity device is required. The devices we wear aren’t exactly bank vaults. This reason just doesn’t hold water.
I’ve been thinking about what;’s really going on. It isn’t a need for external sexual control to stop a porn or masturbation problem. It isn’t some generic male problem with sexual control. I’ve read way too much about the idea that I’m unable to control my sexual needs. There are endless rationalizations around that idea. What’s odd to me is that so many men agree with it.
There must be a deeper reason. I think that at the most basic level, we want attention. Enforced chastity is a manifestation of the need for sexual attention. That was true in my case. It’s ironic that orgasm control, which results in less sex is the ultimate cure for this. If I look at the base need for most of the BDSM activity I like, as well as the permanent relationship changes we have made, it comes down to reassurance of love and care.
Withholding my sexual release requires involvement with me and attention to my sexual state and needs. If you lock my genitals in a cage, you take some responsibility. You can’t just lock my cock and forget about me. You could, but you won’t.
All of the agreements we have relate to this most basic need for love and attention. The fact that I want this doesn’t imply that Mrs. Lion doesn’t love me or give me attention. She always has. It has everything to do with me. I’ve managed to identify the buttons that need pushing for me to feel secure and loved. In my case, they happen to include sexual control and behavioral discipline.
Interestingly, I don’t need either. I don’t have many bad habits that annoy my lioness. I’m a responsible member of my community. Masturbation was never really a problem. I did it a couple of times a week when I wasn’t getting sex. I didn’t ask Mrs. Lion to lock me up or establish our FLA because I needed behavioral correction. I strongly doubt the vast majority of men who want this sort of relationship establish it because of behavioral problems. Their reasons, like mine, are deeply rooted in their psyches.
It gets on my nerves when bloggers promote the myths that men need orgasm control in order to stay attracted to their wives. Or, that they have a porn addiction that drives them to masturbate. We are not simple people. We are driven by many subtle, deep-rooted needs. The greatest expression of trust and mutual love is when these needs are expressed and then our partners accept and try to fill them.
Mrs. Lion is that kind of partner. I’m very lucky.
The Next Best Thing
It was pretty cold in the house last night. We were both huddled under the blankets watching TV. I agreed to postpone Lion’s punishment until it’s warmer. Of course that could be July. But I told him I reserve the right to add interest to the punishment depending on how long I wait. The rain seems to be returning so it should warm up a little.
As we were getting ready for bed Lion said he’s been locked up for a long time with no play. By his count it was three days. By my count it was two. He said he’s been locked since Tuesday night after his orgasm so that makes three day – Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. I say he got his orgasm Tuesday so that night doesn’t count as a no play night. Wednesday I was really tired and last night we were freezing. Two nights without play. [Lion – I wasn’t counting nights without play. I was counting nights without being out of the cage.]
Regardless of how many days it’s been for the poor Lion, I’m sure we’ll play this weekend. We have four days together if he stays home Tuesday with me. If not, then three is still good. And I only work half a day today. There’s definitely time for the sling and some pegging. And I can probably even tunnel through the spare bedroom to find the blindfold.
Last night Lion asked me if I thought we should stop enforced chastity and female led marriage. I don’t. He said he doesn’t either. I’m not entirely sure why he asked. I think he’s sorry he’s back in the cage. But if we did stop, what then? Wouldn’t we just fall back into old habits of not playing? I’m not suggesting the cage is needed anymore, but could I still edge him if I felt like it? Why would he let me? I wouldn’t be in charge anymore. There’d be no more “because I said so.” I’m sure he wouldn’t miss the punishment aspect. Maybe if there was something to replace it. The next best thing.
Do you have something in mind, Lion?
