man being spanked
This isn’t Mrs. Lion or me. But you get the idea how it is when Mrs. Lion decides to spank me.

Sometimes people wonder about how I can consent to being punished. Clearly, I don’t like the pain, and often want to resist accepting it. My most recent example is the last time Mrs. Lion spanked me. She noted that I was pissed when she told me to roll over and expose my bottom. I was. I didn’t say anything but my face clearly expressed my feelings.

Was that spanking consensual? It had to be. I rolled over. I wasn’t restrained. I’m stronger than Mrs. Lion. I could have refused or rolled away while she was beating me. I didn’t. Some might argue that I was emotionally restrained. I’ve been trained to obey. I don’t think so. The only possible consequences of my rebellion would have been loss of our power exchange. Mrs. Lion could just end it.

That’s always the implied threat behind serious disobedience. Is that enough to cover abuse? Possibly in some cases, but not ours. Had I refused to be spanked, Mrs. Lion would most likely let it go, at least for a while. Accepting it was on me.

When I was told to roll over, I growled inwardly. I did think about arguing against being spanked. But then I realized that the point of punishment is to deter future offenses. I’m not supposed to feel good about the impending pain. I’m supposed to want to avoid it. It’s completely normal in non-BDSM punishment to feel angry about the painful intrusion. But it’s wrong to resist.

The fairly frequent punishments have trained both of us. Mrs. Lion has learned to punish each and every infraction. It’s part of her effort to be consistent with me. I’ve been trained to accept, gracefully or not, Mrs. Lion’s penalties. The entire point of making it an offense if I get food on my shirt is to assure punishment occurs regularly.

Some people use maintenance spankings. My problem with these is that they are almost the same as BDSM spanking. The only reason they are given is because the dominant wants to remind the bottom of her power. It’s a much stronger message to me when I notice I dripped something on my shirt and Mrs. Lion gives me that pointed stare.

From that moment until the paddle comes out, I am dreading the consequences. It’s that emotional component that is the real training for me. I know that I will be paddled no matter what mood I’m in. Up until now, Mrs. Lion’s spankings for spills have been milder than for more serious offenses. I expect that she will continue this, but make her milder spankings a lot worse. That’s also good training for me.

There are two components to these punishments: The first is my immediate obedience to her command to expose my bottom. The second is my “spanking manners”; how I behave while I am being paddled. These haven’t been very good. I squirm and sometimes even roll over for a bit. This is normal. I’ve read that most guys do the same when the pain gets very intense.

However, this is a behavior to be discouraged. I should remain in position throughout the entire punishment. Some squirming and feet kicking is probably as much as I should be allowed to do. What should Mrs. Lion do if I do cross the line during a spanking? According to Julie, she should stop, tell me she is starting over, and do so. I imagine it won’t take very long for me to learn my manners.

The same is true when I don’t immediately thank Mrs. Lion for spanking me. I generally forget this unless she reminds me. The idea of repunishing for offenses during the punishment is reasonable and extremely unpleasant for me. Still, it’s the right thing for Mrs. Lion to do. And, it most certainly isn’t abusive.

mrs. lion's new dildo
Mrs. Lion’s new dildo. I got it on sale from Tantus. It’s a whopping 1-7/8″ in diameter. Up until now, Lion has been taking one that is 1-1/2″ in diameter and 7″ long. This will certainly challenge him. He will take it all.

Last weekend a new dildo arrived. It’s been sitting on the bathroom counter since then. It’s thicker than the dildo I’ve been using recently on Lion. It’s almost 1/2-inch thicker. And by recently I mean weeks ago. Perhaps months.

Lion thinks he’ll be able to take this dildo because he’s been stretched. I have no doubt I could make him take this dildo. The problem is, it would hurt a lot. I think we need to go back to the other dildo first. I’m not saying he can’t take the larger dildo in the same session as the smaller. I think once I use the smaller one his ass will remember it and we can move on. We’ll find out this weekend.

We delayed sling time the other day. I don’t often have an idea of what I’ll do when I have Lion splayed out. There are so many possibilities I get lost and we usually don’t do much at all. I mean he’s tied up so I can check the bondage box off. It’s a given that I’ll edge him. Sometimes he even gets his orgasm in the sling. Pegging, clothespins, spanking, etc. are all good choices. Don’t forget about menthol rubs. (Lion says I can forget that if I really try to.) But this weekend I think we need to try out the larger dildo.

Lion bought the dildo because it was on sale. We probably already have a dildo the same size. I haven’t checked. This one came from Tantus so it fits my Rodeoh brief harness. I won’t start out using the panties. I have more control when it’s in my hand. However, when I use the panties I have both hands free for other things. I can also make sure the dildo stays inside Lion while I do those other things. If we use the sling today I can get Lion used to the new dildo. Maybe tomorrow I’ll use the dildo in the panties.

lLion – This dildo is about 2-inches in diameter. The one I have been taking is 1-1/2 inches thick. In addition it has bumps and a head. The Tantus Silk large Mrs. Lion has been using is smooth. This will hurt going in, but it will go in.]

Initially we began enforced chastity as a way to provide me with a sex life. That sounds weird, I know. How is preventing me from having erections and orgasms a way to give me sex?

To understand, we have to go back a decade. While everything else in our marriage was perfect, we weren’t having sex. I think it was my fault. I find it very difficult to initiate sexual activity. It’s been a problem of mine for a very long time. I don’t like admitting it because it makes me feel that something is wrong with me. Maybe there is.  But I have always been terrible at initiation.

Somehow through most of my life I still managed to have lots of sex. But after we were together a few years, a sexual divide formed between us. Ironically, we grew much closer in every other part of our lives. I masturbated every few days and maybe once a month or so, Mrs. Lion gave me a handjob or, more rarely, a blowjob or we had intercourse.

I felt horrible about the situation, but not about us. I was never a big fan of porn, so my masturbatory fodder was generally fantasies about BDSM play. Since before meeting Mrs. Lion, I had been very active in the BDSM community, I had lots of adventures to recall. I had also written about sex toys, among them male chastity devices. In the years pre-lioness, I received samples and tested these devices. None from back then were even remotely comfortable to wear.

Anyway, about four years ago I typed “Chastity” into the amazon.com search bar. Then I tried “male chastity” and I was greeted by listing after listing of male chastity devices. They were all very inexpensive, so I ordered a couple. I felt a thrill when they arrived. At the same time I Googled male chastity and found some blogs and a couple for forums.

I read and wrote on two of them. All this fueled my imagination and started me thinking about trying this with Mrs. Lion. My idea was that if she locked up my cock, she couldn’t ignore it; not that she made a point of doing that. But I figured the lockup and edging would restore our sex life. The online fantasies always featured the keyholder getting lots of orgasms from the caged male. I like(d) that idea a lot.

In a way, I think I saw enforced chastity as a way of transferring sexual initiation to Mrs. Lion. After all, she has the key. I also figured that any tension over who should start the proceedings would dissolve because only she could do it. I know this sounds selfishly manipulative. Maybe it was. But my strongest thought was that we could restore intimacy.

By asking her to lock me up, I was admitting to myself that I failed as the aggressor. Later, when we wrote about all this and discussed it, it turned out that Mrs. Lion was also wrestling with my failure to initiate. In fact, she was quietly angry about that and made a point of waiting for me to start something.

To complicate things further, Mrs. Lion lost her libido. I blame myself for that. Perhaps if I had been better about initiating she would have remained the horny lioness I dated before we lived together. We’ve tried to light that flame again. So far the efforts haven’t worked. Maybe it isn’t just a case of use-it-or-lose-it. It could be organic. In any case, I’ve felt badly about this for a long time.

In the meantime with our enforced chastity going full force, I was getting sexual attention. We were snuggling and having sexual conversations. Mrs. Lion’s libido hasn’t returned, but the resentment and guilt have dissipated significantly. Mrs. Lion has defined her role as giving me a good sex life.

That’s a pretty odd sounding comment but it correctly defines our current sexual situation. She’s incredibly successful. I’m having a lot of frustrating fun. I think she is enjoying herself too. We can go on this way forever. Though, I have to admit that I would love for her to want sex again. Even though we have been doing this for a long time, it still bothers me that it’s one-way sex.

I didn’t do a post yesterday. I was in the middle of investigating a mystery at work. Who did what? Why? How can we fix it? And then Lion called me about going with him on his next business trip and what’s my frequent flyer info and what’s my TSA number? And everything required a password that I didn’t remember. Too much turmoil to be able to come up with a post.

Plus I had nothing to report. We hadn’t really played in days. I suggested using the sling on Wednesday and Lion wasn’t really interested. He’d rather wait for the weekend. OK. That works.

Last night, however, Lion was on his game. He was hard within a few minutes of my iutouching him. I don’t know why but I decided to be ruthless with him. As soon as he got to the edge I stopped but I didn’t take my hand away. And within a minute of stopping I was starting again. Over and over and over. I’m not sure I’ve ever edged him so many times.

We both thought I’d gone too far a few times. Not quite. It didn’t stop me from continuing on. Afterwards Lion wondered how many days his wait had been. His last orgasm was Sunday. It’s a four day wait so far. Not long at all. He’s got another few days to go. At least.

But as we were settling in for bed Lion said I was mean for not giving him an orgasm. I told him he asked me to do this for him. He said he didn’t ask last night. It was more of a general statement in the beginning of all this chastity talk. He asked me to make him wait. Silly boy. If he didn’t want me to make him wait he shouldn’t have asked. He said he’s just frustrated and I make it all worse. And isn’t four days long enough?

Nope. It isn’t.