How To Ask Your Wife To Lock You Up
The question I am asked most frequently is, “How do I ask my wife to be my keyholder?” It’s a tough question that pretty much every caged male has to ask his mate. Just how do you ask your partner to completely change the way she sexually relates to you? The first step is to put yourself in her shoes.
The most serious mistake that a male makes when approaching his partner is to assume she understands how he feels and what being caged means to him. I guarantee she doesn’t. So, do you say, “Hey sweetie, I read this cool story online about a wife who kept her husband’s penis locked up in a chastity device and it seems really hot to me. Want to try it?” That approach is quick and easy for the male, but leaves his partner with questions and confusion.
What would you think if your wife asked you to lock up her pussy because she read a story on the internet? Wouldn’t you wonder what you did to make her want to lock it away? The point is that you would be confused and not know how to react to such a proposal.
So how do you ask that question in a way that she is likely to accept? The answer is going to be different for every couple. The key is to take the time to figure out how to explain what you want. You don’t really just want your cock in a cage, do you? You want more than that. Every one of us caged males wants a great deal of change that involves effort on the part of your mate. The fact is that in the beginning, neither of you really knows how it will play out. The problem is that you probably have had fantasies you want to make come true instead of beginning a new activity where you and your wife are on equal footing.
My suggestion is to be very honest and open. Start off by talking about what you have been thinking. Tell her that you get turned on when you think about her having more control over your sexual pleasure. She will undoubtedly want to know how that would work. Tell her about chastity devices. Let her ask questions. Don’t press her to do anything right now. Let her know that you can show her web sites where she can learn what chastity means to other couples. This site is certainly a good start.
Most important, give her a chance to consider your idea. Let her read and think. If she doesn’t bring up the topic in a few days, gently (I mean gently!) ask her if she has given your idea any thought. If she says that she has, you can ask her what she has been thinking. Let her do the talking. Remember, you have told her what you want. You need to be prepared to let her decide if she wants to do it.
If you’ve read here, my lioness was not enthusiastic at all about my being caged. She still isn’t all that convinced she wants to get more deeply in the lifestyle. However, we have started. I have been caged nearly three months now. She has been getting more involved in the other activities associated with forced male chastity. You may have similar results. But the key to presenting this idea successfully is to simply present what you want and then let her absorb this idea and decide if she would like to go on this journey with you.
Everybody Loves A Saturday Night Spanking
This weekend was memorable for many reasons: Mrs. Lion acted independently on Saturday (see my post Progress). Saturday night was a caged male’s dream. My lioness had planned to go lion riding. I love that! Unfortunately, at the last moment mother nature stepped in and she couldn’t carry out her delightful plan. She told me what she was going to do and we were both sorry we couldn’t. However, she wasn’t going to be stopped by one little roadblock. Oh no! She unlocked me to clean up in the shower and off I trotted to get sweet smelling and clean.
I emerged from my shower to see a spanking strap and riding crop on the bed. As the only logical target (the dog was hiding under the bed), I had a feeling that I would be enjoying a spanking. There are two sorts of spankings: disciplinary, which are administered very firmly and generally at a time when the male is not aroused; and the fun sexy kind. This sort of spanking begins gently and slowly escalates as the male’s endorphin levels rise. Aside from a nice, rosy bottom, the sensations are very exciting. My lioness treated me to this delightful surprise. My spankings are always administered on my bare bottom. It is most sensitive after a warm shower.
She started with her hand. Believe me, she doesn’t need any more than her hand to really make me howl. She moved on to the strap and the riding crop. By the time she finished, my bottom was glowing and felt warm and toasty and my cock was hard and dripping. It’s been a while since we did that.
She told me to roll over on my back. She pushed my legs apart. I moved them apart, knees up to give her maximum access. She moved between my legs and gave me very long and incredibly exciting oral sex. When I was just about to come, she stopped, raised her head and asked if I would like to come. I breathlessly told her I would. She smiled and said, “Well ok.”
She then went back to work. I erupted in no time. Shortly after I calmed down, she handed me the cock and ball ring and I put it on. She then locked me back up in my cage. Wow! I woke up several times during the night feeling the delightful pressure of an attempted erection. I like that feeling and it rarely wakes me up, but last night was different. I pictured that great spanking and oral sex. I really wished I could escape my cage for a few minutes to take care of my aching need.
Progress
Real progress takes time and very hard work.
I have been locked up for a while now. Each week I find that wearing the cage becomes more and more a natural part of my life. I am generally unaware that it is there between my legs. Other things are happening as well. I’ve stopped asking for sexual attention. Yes, I still get incredibly horny and I silently ask Mrs. Lion to relieve that itch, but I don’t ask out loud. I work hard to avoid asking for anything sexual for me or for her. It’s no longer something I should do. I find myself looking for ways I can help her. Most importantly, I am making a conscious effort not to argue or offer my opinion unless asked.
That might sound like my personality is dissolving into a bland, passive mush. I don’t think so. My nature is not passive in the least. I’m not fooling myself. I still contribute actively to pretty much everything except decisions regarding sex. That’s definitely off limits for me. Over time I am hoping that I will continue to become more and more attentive. I want to focus more attention on pleasing my lioness. It makes me smile to type those words. One of the premises of forced male chastity is always that the male becomes attentive and more and more interested in the keyholder’s pleasure. I admit it. I just never saw that as a natural process. I figured that it could happen, but probably needed the keyholder to provide the incentives needed to modify the caged male’s behavior.
Apparently those incentives aren’t necessary. It just seems to happen on its own. I’m sure that I have a very long way to go. On the other hand, I had a mental image of how my lioness would take charge and provide the control and discipline that I wanted. Now I realize that sort of expectation is as unrealistic as expecting me to become a fawning sycophant. While locking up my penis is a single act, the changes a male chastity lifestyle requires takes substantial time and cultivation.
Mrs. Lion is making wonderful progress. She is thinking (and writing) about sexual activities to heighten our enjoyment of this lifestyle. Even more significantly, she is growing more independent in her actions when we are together. Today is a case in point. We were out running errands. I asked if she wanted to get lunch; I was feeling hungry. She asked where I would like to go. So far, this is our normal conversation when it comes to deciding if we want to get a meal and if we do, where to go. I said that I didn’t care. Normally, she would throw out some ideas for me to consider. Not today. Instead, she drove purposefully to a local fast food restaurant without saying another word. That may sound like small stuff, but it isn’t. She took control and acted. She didn’t consult me; she just went where she decided to go. I, for my small part, kept my mouth shut and went along for the ride.
She made significant progress with that move. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for her to do that. What’s interesting is that this step had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with forced chastity. The little cage that follows me everywhere stimulated a change in a completely unrelated part of our lives. That change felt completely right to me.
If you had asked me how I would gauge our progress, I would have talked about tease-and-deny, ruined orgasms, spankings, milkings, extra time in the cage, and the other chastity-related sexual activities. By the way, there is progress sexually too. But today’s subtle change is a much more profound signal to me. It shows us changing some of our basic behaviors as a couple. When she reads this, Mrs. Lion may shake her head and say that there was no change, she asked me and since I didn’t say where I wanted to go, she simply went where she liked. That is an accurate description of what happened. But, Mrs. Lion, that has never happened before in the more-than-a-decade we have been together. Progress!
The Power Of The Penis
I’ve learned a lot from forced male chastity. It’s amazing how much power our little male sex organs wield. If you don’t believe me, consider what happens when you put one in a cage. So much can change. The caged male magically sees sex as pleasure he should provide to his keyholder. He becomes more thoughtful and considerate. His new keyholder discovers a new sexual liberation. She starts feeling freer to demand sexual satisfaction. Many also discover that they now have the ability to exercise control over their males and they find that the caged males will meekly accept orders and allow themselves to be spanked or otherwise disciplined as required by the keyholder.
What happened? Is it magic? I think it may have some magic to it. Most of us, male and female, unconsciously seem to give power to the penis and its owner. Uncaged, it demands satisfaction and puts its mate second. Now that doesn’t mean that every male selfishly takes sexual pleasure without regard for his partner. I certainly never did that. But it appears to change the keyholder. She quickly learns that her pleasure should come first every time. He bares his bottom for paddling when she wants to correct him.
In fairness, it isn’t the cage or the penis that directly cause these changes. Obviously, the male wants his keyholder to have this power. The cage is not only a symbol, but an actual device that removes sexual control from him. The woman’s side appears more complex. I asked a couple of keyholders who were actively controlling their males if they could keep controlling if he wasn’t locked up. Both women said, no without the cage they wouldn’t have the power and the males wouldn’t accept control.
Both said that they expect to keep their males locked up for the rest of their lives. That means the keyholders believed that the power exchange was controlled by the penis cage, not the agreement of their males. As a caged male, I think that if my lioness wanted to continue controlling me, but didn’t want me caged, I would agree and continue to give her the power. The other two women were sure that their power would start eroding as soon as the cages came off. I think that if I were uncaged, my lioness would start to lose interest in the power exchange and things would return to the pre-cage state. Could it be that the keyholder needs the cage more than the male?
My theory is that while the male is caged, he is totally dependent on his keyholder for sexual satisfaction. He can’t get off without her help. This puts a responsibility on our keyholders to provide sexual attention since we are defenseless in our cages. Also, the cage is a continuous reminder to me that I can not independently get sexual satisfaction and also reminds me that my keyholder has obvious power over me. We are unable to forget that we have a power exchange relationship. Both the main tool of control and the symbol is locked between our legs.
The power the cage has is almost diabolical. Not only does it transfer ownership of the penis to the keyholder, but it also constantly reminds the keyholder that she has a duty to the former owner of the penis to provide at least some activity. It’s surprising that something we could consider as a genital bondage device is actually a powerful emotional lever that changes both caged male and his keyholder. How many of us understood that when we first set out with forced male chastity.
